{"id":1152,"date":"2021-02-15T09:50:00","date_gmt":"2021-02-15T17:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/?p=1152"},"modified":"2022-05-24T11:35:08","modified_gmt":"2022-05-24T19:35:08","slug":"podcast-10-dogma","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/15\/podcast-10-dogma\/","title":{"rendered":"Podcast 3: Dogma"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"1152\" class=\"elementor elementor-1152\" data-elementor-post-type=\"post\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<section class=\"elementor-section elementor-top-section elementor-element elementor-element-d4743c0 elementor-section-boxed elementor-section-height-default elementor-section-height-default\" data-id=\"d4743c0\" data-element_type=\"section\" data-e-type=\"section\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_glider_is_slider&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-container elementor-column-gap-default\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-column elementor-col-100 elementor-top-column elementor-element elementor-element-1c5810c\" data-id=\"1c5810c\" data-element_type=\"column\" data-e-type=\"column\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_column_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_column_has_pseudo&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\">\n\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-wrap elementor-element-populated\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5884dd2 ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5884dd2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_text_clip&quot;:&quot;none&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h4 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Recorded on 2\/10\/2021<\/h4>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-307af5f ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"307af5f\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_postman_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<h4>This week we review <strong>the movie Dogma (1999)<\/strong>\u00a0written and directed by Kevin Smith.<\/h4>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-5c7bd2e ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"5c7bd2e\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_text_clip&quot;:&quot;none&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The 3 Guys Podcast<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-4310365 ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-html\" data-id=\"4310365\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"html.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<iframe title=\"Dogma\" height=\"122\" width=\"100%\" style=\"border: none;\" scrolling=\"no\" data-name=\"pb-iframe-player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.podbean.com\/media\/player\/jjrg9-fb7fb9?from=pb6admin&download=1&version=1&auto=0&share=1&download=1&rtl=0&fonts=Helvetica&skin=1&pfauth=&btn-skin=104\"><\/iframe>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-c8dc6da ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"c8dc6da\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_text_clip&quot;:&quot;none&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">The 3 Guys Rating<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1b9bfb2 elementor--star-style-star_fontawesome ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-star-rating\" data-id=\"1b9bfb2\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"star-rating.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-star-rating__wrapper\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-star-rating\" itemtype=\"http:\/\/schema.org\/Rating\" itemscope=\"\" itemprop=\"reviewRating\">\n\t\t\t\t<i class=\"elementor-star-full\" aria-hidden=\"true\">&#xE934;<\/i><i class=\"elementor-star-full\" aria-hidden=\"true\">&#xE934;<\/i><i class=\"elementor-star-full\" aria-hidden=\"true\">&#xE934;<\/i><i class=\"elementor-star-7\" aria-hidden=\"true\">&#xE934;<\/i><i class=\"elementor-star-empty\" aria-hidden=\"true\">&#xE934;<\/i>\t\t\t\t<span itemprop=\"ratingValue\" class=\"elementor-screen-only\">Rated 3.7 out of 5<\/span>\n\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-779e694 ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"779e694\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_text_clip&quot;:&quot;none&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">About The Movie From IMDB<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-b5fac7b ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"b5fac7b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><div class=\"imdb_container\">\r\n    <div class=\"imdb_default_title\" style=\"max-width: 670px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\">\r\n        <div class=\"title\">\r\n            <span class=\"left\"><a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/\" target=\"_blank\">Dogma<\/a> <small>(1999)<\/small><\/small>\r\n                <small id=\"genres\">Adventure, Comedy, Drama | 130min | 12 November 1999 (USA)<\/small>\r\n            <\/span>\r\n            <span class=\"right\">\r\n            <img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3guysandaflick.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/shortcode-imdb\/includes\/assets\/onlystar.png?w=1200&#038;ssl=1\"\/> <span id=\"rating\">7.3<\/span>\r\n            <\/span>\r\n            <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n        <div class=\"middle\">\r\n            <div class=\"poster\">\r\n                <a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BYzAyOWUyZjQtNDBiMy00ZDExLTgwNmMtZDdmY2ViNzkyN2Y0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_UY268_CR0,0,182,268_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a>\r\n\r\n            <\/div>\r\n            <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/video\/imdb\/vi1057144345?playlistId=tt0120655&#038;ref_=tt_ov_vi\" target=\"_blank\"><div class=\"video\"\r\n                                    style=\"background: url(https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BNzY2N2UyZTktMGVjNC00N2NlLWEzN2EtNzJiNTgyYjAwMzlmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXRyYW5zY29kZS13b3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_CR0,12,600,337_AL_UX477_CR0,0,477,268_AL_.jpg) no-repeat center center;\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"\r\n                        display: block;\r\n                        top: 50%; bottom: 50%;\r\n                        margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3guysandaflick.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/shortcode-imdb\/includes\/assets\/player.png?w=1200&#038;ssl=1\"><\/div><\/a>\r\n                  <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"content\">\r\n                <span class=\"crew\"><b>Director:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_ov_dr\" target=\"_blank\">Kevin Smith<\/a><\/span><span class=\"crew\"><b>Writer:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_ov_wr\" target=\"_blank\">Kevin Smith<\/a><\/span><span class=\"crew\"><b>Stars:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Ben Affleck<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Matt Damon<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Linda Fiorentino<\/a><\/span><b>Summary:<\/b> An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is enlisted to prevent two angels from reentering Heaven and thus undoing the fabric of the universe. Along the way, she is aided by two prophets, Jay and Silent Bob. With the help of Rufus, the 13th Apostle, they must stop those who stand in their way and prevent the angels from entering Heaven.\n                Written by\nJerel Parenton &lt;J.W.Parenton@student.tcu.edu&gt;\r\n\r\n            <\/div>\r\n            <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\r\n        <\/div>\r\n        <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div>\r\n        <h3>Photos<\/h3>\r\n                    <div class='images'><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm3827145472?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_1\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTIzNjk4NzQ1NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNjE3NjQ1._V1_UY99_CR19,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm4048659969?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_2\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BZTNlN2Q0OWYtNjk1My00ZTI1LWJhYzktMzE4NjBkNDg5YWMzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_UY99_CR69,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm4283540993?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_3\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BNjhmZDNiYjgtNjkzYi00MDE0LWJmOTgtZjVhZTdkMGZlNDZiXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTc5MDI5NjE@._V1_UY99_CR69,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm3702210304?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_4\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMGU0NTkxMTQtNTllZS00NzM2LTliMjQtZmQ3OWU3YzM1NjA0L2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNTk1NTMyNzM@._V1_UY99_CR2,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm4147348480?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_5\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BNzQ2NjUyMDEyMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODA5NDYyNA@@._V1_UY99_CR5,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaviewer\/rm3558987009?context=default&#038;ref_=tt_pv_md_6\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BN2Q0MDVhNDAtZDk1Zi00OWVmLWI4M2MtYmVhOThjZTg1NDI5XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTEyMjM2NDc2._V1_UY99_CR23,0,99,99_AL_.jpg\" style=\"width: 99px\"\/><\/a><\/div><\/div>\r\n             <br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/mediaindex\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"padding-left: 10px;\">See all photos >><\/a>   \r\n            <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div><br\/><h3>Videos<\/h3>\r\n                    <div class='images'><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/videoplayer\/vi1057144345?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_1\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BNzY2N2UyZTktMGVjNC00N2NlLWEzN2EtNzJiNTgyYjAwMzlmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXRyYW5zY29kZS13b3JrZmxvdw@@._V1_SP330,330,0,C,0,0,0_CR65,90,200,150_PIimdb-blackband-204-14,TopLeft,0,0_PIimdb-blackband-204-28,BottomLeft,0,1_CR0,0,200,150_PIimdb-bluebutton-big,BottomRight,-1,-1_ZATrailer,4,123,16,196,verdenab,8,255,255,255,1_ZAon%2520IMDb,4,1,14,196,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_ZA02%253A20,164,1,14,36,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_ZADogma,4,138,14,196,arialbd,7,255,255,255,1_.jpg\" style=\"width: 100px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/videoplayer\/vi2738928153?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_2\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BY2NjNDFiZTctYzIzMy00MWFhLTg5YTQtMGViNmY4Y2E3Mzc5XkEyXkFqcGdeQWFsZWxvZw@@._V1_SP330,330,0,C,0,0,0_CR65,90,200,150_PIimdb-blackband-204-14,TopLeft,0,0_PIimdb-blackband-204-28,BottomLeft,0,1_CR0,0,200,150_PIimdb-bluebutton-big,BottomRight,-1,-1_ZAClip,4,123,16,196,verdenab,8,255,255,255,1_ZAon%2520IMDb,4,1,14,196,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_ZA02%253A58,164,1,14,36,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_PIimdb-HDIconMiniWhite,BottomLeft,4,-2_ZADogma,24,138,14,176,arialbd,7,255,255,255,1_.jpg\" style=\"width: 100px\"\/><\/a><\/div><div><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/videoplayer\/vi3397369625?ref_=tt_pv_vi_aiv_3\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BY2M4MTFhODItOWNhNS00NmY4LTgxMDQtNGM5MGIyNmRjMjA2XkEyXkFqcGdeQWFhcm9uYmVy._V1_SP330,330,0,C,0,0,0_CR65,90,200,150_PIimdb-blackband-204-14,TopLeft,0,0_PIimdb-blackband-204-28,BottomLeft,0,1_CR0,0,200,150_PIimdb-bluebutton-big,BottomRight,-1,-1_ZAVideo,4,123,16,196,verdenab,8,255,255,255,1_ZAon%2520IMDb,4,1,14,196,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_ZA04%253A10,164,1,14,36,verdenab,7,255,255,255,1_PIimdb-HDIconMiniWhite,BottomLeft,4,-2_ZADogma,24,138,14,176,arialbd,7,255,255,255,1_.jpg\" style=\"width: 100px\"\/><\/a><\/div><\/div>\r\n             <br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/videogallery\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"padding-left: 10px;\">See all videos >><\/a>   \r\n            <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div><br\/><h3>Cast<\/h3><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001069\/?ref_=tt_cl_i1\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTMwMzM3MDc4OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjU4OTQ4Mg@@._V1_UX32_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001069\/?ref_=tt_cl_i1\" target=\"_blank\">Bud Cort<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">John Doe Jersey<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0352558\/?ref_=tt_cl_i2\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/imdb\/images\/nopicture\/32x44\/name-2138558783._CB470041625_.png\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0352558\/?ref_=tt_cl_i2\" target=\"_blank\">Barret Hackney<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Stygian Triplet \n  \n  \n  (as Barrett Hackney)<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0679465\/?ref_=tt_cl_i3\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/imdb\/images\/nopicture\/32x44\/name-2138558783._CB470041625_.png\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0679465\/?ref_=tt_cl_i3\" target=\"_blank\">Jared Pfennigwerth<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Stygian Triplet<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0757318\/?ref_=tt_cl_i4\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BZjNkOTAxOTMtYjk0Yy00YmIzLTk0YjItZTQ2NDcyMTcwYjYzXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjQwMDg0Ng@@._V1_UY44_CR23,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0757318\/?ref_=tt_cl_i4\" target=\"_blank\">Kitao Sakurai<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Stygian Triplet<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_cl_i5\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTI4ODgzNTk0NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNjU1MjY3MQ@@._V1_UY44_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_cl_i5\" target=\"_blank\">George Carlin<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Cardinal Glick<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0641168\/?ref_=tt_cl_i6\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BZTUyMmI0ZTktNTZhMS00OGIxLWI1MjItOWZjNTZlMjNiMGVmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjg2NjQwMDQ@._V1_UY44_CR16,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0641168\/?ref_=tt_cl_i6\" target=\"_blank\">Brian O&#039;Halloran<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Grant Hicks \n  \n  \n  (as Brian Christopher O&#039;Halloran)<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0008640\/?ref_=tt_cl_i7\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTU2OTg3NzE5NV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTQyOTg3NQ@@._V1_UY44_CR1,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0008640\/?ref_=tt_cl_i7\" target=\"_blank\">Betty Aberlin<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Nun<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_cl_i8\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTM0NzYzNDgxMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDg2MTMyMw@@._V1_UY44_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_cl_i8\" target=\"_blank\">Matt Damon<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Loki<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_cl_i9\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMzczNzNiMDAtMmUzZS00MTkwLWIwOTYtNmYyNjg3MTVkNThhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjA4MjI5MTA@._V1_UY44_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_cl_i9\" target=\"_blank\">Ben Affleck<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Bartleby<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0262052\/?ref_=tt_cl_i10\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/imdb\/images\/nopicture\/32x44\/name-2138558783._CB470041625_.png\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0262052\/?ref_=tt_cl_i10\" target=\"_blank\">Dan Etheridge<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Priest at St. Stephen&#039;s<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_cl_i11\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMTMyMzMxNjE3Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwMTYwNzMz._V1_UX32_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_cl_i11\" target=\"_blank\">Linda Fiorentino<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Bethany<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0590502\/?ref_=tt_cl_i12\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/imdb\/images\/nopicture\/32x44\/name-2138558783._CB470041625_.png\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0590502\/?ref_=tt_cl_i12\" target=\"_blank\">Derek Milosavljevic<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Kissing Couple<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0102965\/?ref_=tt_cl_i13\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/G\/01\/imdb\/images\/nopicture\/32x44\/name-2138558783._CB470041625_.png\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0102965\/?ref_=tt_cl_i13\" target=\"_blank\">Lesley Braden<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Kissing Couple<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0639688\/?ref_=tt_cl_i14\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BNTA0Mzc3MTctNjU5Ni00OTI5LWI5YjUtOGY1M2UwNjFiYmZmXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyOTQyMTEyNjk@._V1_UX32_CR0,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0639688\/?ref_=tt_cl_i14\" target=\"_blank\">Marie Elena O&#039;Brien<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Clinic Girl \n  \n  \n  (scenes deleted) (as MarieElena O&#039;Brien)<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><div class=\"cast\" style=\"background-color:#eeeeee\">\r\n                                    <div class=\"profile\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_cl_i15\" target=\"_blank\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BMjExNjQwMTA1M15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzY1ODM4OA@@._V1_UY44_CR1,0,32,44_AL_.jpg\"\/><\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"name\"><a href=\"https:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_cl_i15\" target=\"_blank\">Janeane Garofalo<\/a><\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"seperate\">...<\/div>\r\n                                    <div class=\"char\">Liz<\/div>\r\n                                <\/div><br><a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\/fullcredits\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"padding-left: 10px;\">See full cast >><\/a>   \r\n                    <div class=\"spacer\" style=\"clear: both;\"><\/div><hr\/><span class=\"extra\"><b>Countries:<\/b> USA<\/span><span class=\"extra\"><b>Languages:<\/b> English<\/span><span class=\"extra\"><b>Budget:<\/b> $10,000,000\n            (estimated)<\/span>\r\n        <div class=\"imdb-footer\"><span class=\"imdb_copyright\">Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\" target=\"_blank\" style=\"color: #f5c518 !important;\">imdb.com<\/a><\/span><\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div>\r\n<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-fa7a0fb ob-harakiri-inherit ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"fa7a0fb\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_use_harakiri&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_writing_mode&quot;:&quot;inherit&quot;,&quot;_ob_harakiri_text_clip&quot;:&quot;none&quot;,&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<h2 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Quotes From The Movie<\/h2>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-323adbe ob-has-background-overlay elementor-widget elementor-widget-shortcode\" data-id=\"323adbe\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-e-type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;_ob_widget_stalker_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_poopart_use&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;,&quot;_ob_shadough_use&quot;:&quot;no&quot;,&quot;_ob_allow_hoveranimator&quot;:&quot;no&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"shortcode.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-shortcode\"><div class=\"imdb_container\"><div style=\"all: unset\"><div class=\"imdb_transparent\">\r\n    <div class=\"imdb_left\">\r\n        <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\" target=\"_blank\">\r\n            <div class=\"poster_parent\" style=\"\r\n                        background: url(https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/shortcode-imdb\/includes\/assets\/star.png),\r\n                        url(https:\/\/m.media-amazon.com\/images\/M\/MV5BYzAyOWUyZjQtNDBiMy00ZDExLTgwNmMtZDdmY2ViNzkyN2Y0XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTQxNzMzNDI@._V1_UY268_CR0,0,182,268_AL_.jpg)no-repeat center center;\r\n                        background-size: cover; \r\n                        -webkit-background-size: cover;\r\n                        -moz-background-size: cover;\r\n                        -o-background-size: cover;\r\n                        background-size: cover;\">\r\n                <span id=\"imdb_rating\">7.3<\/span>\r\n            <\/div>\r\n        <\/a>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n    <div class=\"imdb_right\">\r\n        <span id=\"movie_title\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/title\/tt0120655\" target=\"_blank\">Dogma<small> (1999)<\/small><\/a><\/span>\r\n        <span id=\"genres\">130min | Adventure, Comedy, Drama | 12 November 1999 (USA)<\/span>\r\n        <div class=\"imdb_general\"><span id=\"imdb_general\"><b>Director:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_ov_dr\" target=\"_blank\">Kevin Smith<\/a><\/span><span id=\"imdb_general\"><b>Writer:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_ov_wr\" target=\"_blank\">Kevin Smith<\/a><\/span><span id=\"imdb_general\"><b>Stars:<\/b> <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Ben Affleck<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Matt Damon<\/a>, <a href=\"http:\/\/www.imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_ov_st_sm\" target=\"_blank\">Linda Fiorentino<\/a><\/span><\/div>\r\n        <span id=\"summary\"><b>Summary: <\/b>An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loop-hole and reenter Heaven.<\/span>\r\n        <div class=\"imdb_general\"><span id=\"imdb_general\"><b>Countries:<\/b> USA<\/span><span id=\"imdb_general\"><b>Languages:<\/b> English<\/span><\/div>\r\n        <div class=\"imdb-footer\"><span class=\"imdb_copyright\">Source: <a href=\"https:\/\/www.imdb.com\" target=\"_blank\">imdb.com<\/a><\/span><span style=\"display: none\">Disclaimer: This plugin has been coded to automatically quote data from imdb.com. Not available for any other purpose. All showing data have a link to imdb.com. The user is responsible for any other use or change codes.<\/span><\/div>\r\n    <\/div>\r\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"wrap\"><h2>Quotes<\/h2><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat's he like? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nGod? Lonely. But funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Take sex for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nSex is a joke in heaven? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nThe way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here, too. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYo man, tell me something about me. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nYou masturbate more than anyone on the planet. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nAw fuck, everyone knows that. Tell me something nobody knows. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWhen you do it, you're thinking about guys. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">a shocked Silent Bob stares at Jay<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nDude, not all the time. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0008640\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Nun<\/span><\/a>:\nLet me get this straight: you don't believe in God because of \"Alice in Wonderland\"? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nNo, \"Through the Looking Glass\". That poem, \"The Walrus and the Carpenter,\" that's an indictment of organized religion. The walrus, with his girth and his good nature, he obviously represents either Buddha, or, or with his tusks, the Hindu elephant god, Lord Ganesha. That takes care of your Eastern religions. Now the carpenter, which is an obvious reference to Jesus Christ, who was raised a carpenter's son, he represents the Western religions. Now in the poem, what do they do? What do they do? They, they dupe all these oysters into following them and then proceed to shuck and devour the helpless creatures en masse. I don't know what that says to you, but to me it says that following these faiths based on mythological figures ensures the destruction of one's inner being. Organized religion destroys who we are by inhibiting our actions, by inhibiting our decisions out of, out of fear of some, some intangible parent figure who, who shakes a finger at us from thousands of years ago and says, and says, \"Do it... do it and I'll fuckin' spank you.\" <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bartleby is listening from a nearby seat<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">quietly<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, geez... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0008640\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Nun<\/span><\/a>:\nThe way you put it... I never really thought about it like that before. What have I been doing with my life? What am I... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYeah, I know. Listen, my advice to you: you take this money that you've been collecting for your parish, go get yourself a nice dress, you know? Fix yourself up. Find some man, find some woman, that you can connect with, even for a moment, 'cause that's really all that life is, Sister. It's a series of moments. Why don't you seize yours? <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">the nun hesitates, then smiles, nods, and leaves<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nThat-a girl. Ah. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">he turns around and sits next to Bartleby with a grin on his face<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in His presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI just like to fuck with the clergy, man. I just love it, I love to keep those guys on their toes. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWait a minute. Christ. You know Christ? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nKnew him? Shit, nigga owes me 12 bucks! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nMetatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nYou people. If there isn't a movie about it, it's not worth knowing, is it? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany hears a noise in her closet at night. She reaches under her bed and pulls out a baseball bat. Flames suddenly erupt in the middle of the room<\/span>]\nBehold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. Behold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany runs to her closet, pulls out a fire extinguisher<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nBehold the Metatron, herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true G - <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany douses the fire<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, G - <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Metatron coughs repeatedly and emerges from the smoke as Bethany rushes back to the bed and grabs the bat again<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nAgh! Sweet Jesus, did you have to use the whole can? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">brandishing the bat<\/span>]\nWho the fuck are you and what the fuck are you doing in my room? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm the one that's soaked and she's the one that's surly, that's rich. Stupid fucking... Christ... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nGet the fuck out of here! NOW! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nOr you'll do what, exactly? Hit me with that ffffffish? <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany realizes she's holding a large fish, and drops it in shock<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nNow, just sit down on the bed and shut up. Jesus wept... look at my suit! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nLook, just take whatever you want, but don't kill or rape me. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, get over it, will you? I couldn't rape you if I wanted to. Angels are ill-equipped. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">he drops his pants to show blank skin where his genitals should be<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nSee? I'm as anatomically impaired as a Ken doll. Now make yourself useful and gimme that towel, will you? <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany tosses it to him and he starts wiping his clothes dry<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nHonestly, you bottom feeders and your arrogance, you think everybody's just trying to get in your knickers. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat are you? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm pissed off, is what I am! Do you go around drenching everybody that comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nTell a person that you're the Metatron and they stare at you blankly. Mention something out of a Charlton Heston movie and suddenly everybody is a theology scholar. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nHe still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the shit that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nHaving beliefs isn't good? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nI think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier... <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Loki &amp; Bartleby enter a crowded elevator<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nLast four days on Earth? Hm! If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. We can do the next best thing. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat's that? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, let's kill people. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">woman standing between them chokes on her coffee<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">chuckling, to woman, as the elevator doors close<\/span>]\nOh, not you. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0026879\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Gun Salesman<\/span><\/a>:\nWe call this piece the Fecalator. One look at it and the target shits him or herself. Try it on. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, it's a lot more compact than the flaming sword, but it's not nearly as impressive. Just doesn't have that Wrath-of-the-Almighty edge to it. I mean, come on, how am I supposed to strike fear into the hearts of the wicked with this thing? Look at this... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, then, you know, don't use a gun. Just lay the place to waste, like. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nEasy for you to say. You get off light in razing. You got to stand there and read at Sodom and Gomorrah, I had to do all the work. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat work did you do? You lit a few fires. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI rained down sulphur, man, there's a subtle difference. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, yeah, I'm sure. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nHey, you know, fuck you, man. Any moron with a pack of matches can set a fire. Raining down sulphur is like an endurance trial man. Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nHuman beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI don't want this, it's too big. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nThat's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm responsible for nineteen of the twenty top-grossing films of all time. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nNineteen? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nYeah, the one about the kid, by himself in his house, burglars trying to get in and he fights them off? I had nothing to do with that one. Somebody sold their soul to Satan to get the grosses up on that piece of shit. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're breaking up with us? Who do you think you are, lady? You can't go around breaking guys hearts like us. I fell in love with you! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Silent Bob pokes his arm<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI mean we fell in love with you! Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Rufus falls out of the sky<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">shouting skyward<\/span>]\nBeautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">nothing happens<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, well. It was worth a try. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nI am to charge you with a holy crusade. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nFor the record, I work in an abortion clinic. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nNoah was a drunk. Look what he accomplished. And no one's even asking you to build an ark. All you have to do is go to New Jersey, and visit a small church on a very important day. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nNew Jersey? That doesn't sound like much of a crusade. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nAside from the fine print, that's it. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat's the fine print? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">mumbling into glass<\/span>]\nStopacoupleofangelsfromenteringandthusnegatingallexistence. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWait, wait, wait. Repeat that. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nStop a couple of angels from entering and thus negating all existence. I hate when people need it spelled out for them. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI don't mean to sound ungrateful... but what are you doing hanging around? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWe're here to pick up chicks. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nExcuse me? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWe figure an abortion clinic is a good place to meet loose women. Why else would they be there unless they like to fuck? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nWhen are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains gotta to wake up. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nHe said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is small, and it's easy to fill up. But the older you get, the bigger the glass gets, and the same amount of liquid doesn't fill it anymore. Periodically, the glass has to be refilled. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're suggesting I need to get filled? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nIn more ways than one. You need to get laid, Bethany Sloane. You need a man, if only for ten minutes. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nIt's been my experience that the average male is never a man. Not even for ten minutes in his entire lifespan. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nThat'a a bit militant. You thinking of joining the other side? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nCouldn't do it. Women are insane. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nThen YOU need to go back to church and ask God for a third option. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI think that God is dead. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nThe sign of a true Catholic. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nThe humans have besmirched everything bestowed on them. They were given Paradise, they threw it away. They were given this planet, they destroyed it. They were favored best among all His endeavors, and some of them don't even believe He exists. And in spite of it all, He's shown them infinite fucking patience at every turn. What about us? I asked you... once to lay down the sword because I felt sorry for them. What was the result? Our expulsion from Paradise. WHERE WAS HIS INFINITE FUCKING PATIENCE THEN? IT'S NOT RIGHT, IT'S NOT FAIR. We've paid our debt. Don't you think it's time? Don't you think its time we went home? and to do that, I think we have to dispatch of our would-be dispatchers. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nHello, we'd like two tickets to New Jersey, please. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0877587\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bus Station Attendant<\/span><\/a>:\nJersey's sold out, sir. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0877587\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bus Station Attendant<\/span><\/a>:\nThere's one at the same time tomorrow. I suggest you not underestimate the staggering drawing power of the Garden State, and show up two hours in advance. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked-up bar. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWere they sent to Hell? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nWorse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nDo you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nJesus didn't have any brothers or sisters. Mary was a virgin. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nMary gave birth to CHRIST without having known a man's touch, that's true. But she did have a husband. And do you really think he'd have stayed married to her all those years if he wasn't getting laid? The nature of God and the Virgin birth, those are leaps of faith. But to believe a married couple never got down? Well, that's just plain gullibility. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWait, so all I gotta do, I walk through the arch thing... and then I can go back home? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nNo. By walking through the archway, all your sins are forgiven. Then all we have to do is die. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nDie? I don't wanna die! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat, you'd rather hang around here for a few more eons? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nNo! We don't even know if we CAN die. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bartleby looks exasperated<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nAll right, but what if we can and then, and then the arch thing doesn't work? What then? Hell? Fuck that. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nIt's possible. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nFuck that! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nIf we cut off our wings, transubstantiate to complete human form, we become mortal. If we die with clean souls, there's no way they can keep us out. We won't be angels anymore, but at least we get to go home. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWho sent the paper? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWho cares who sent the paper? All that matters is that after all these years, we found a loophole! They can't keep us out anymore! And once we get back in, I'm sure they'll just forgive and forget. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nBut this thing is, this is... this is... this is church law. It's not divine mandate. Catholic Church laws are fallible because they're created by man. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nOne of the last sacred promises imparted to Peter, the first Pope, by the Son of God before He left was... \"Whatever you hold true on earth...\" <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n\"I'll hold true in heaven.\" <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nIt's dogmatic law. The Catholic Church says it's so, God must adhere, this thing has a papal sanction... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nLet it never be said that your anal-retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou can't be anal-retentive if you don't have an anus. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nOutstanding work! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nGood Lord, the little stoner's got a point. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou are responsible for raising an icon which draws worship from the Lord. You have broken the first commandment. Not only that, I'm afraid not a one of you passes for a decent human being. Your continued existence is a mockery of morality. Like you, Mr. Burton. Last year cheated on your wife of 17 years 8 times. You even had sex with her best friend while you were supposed to be home watching the kids. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nIn the bed that you and your wife share, no less. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nMr. Newman - you got your girlfriend drunk at last year's Christmas party and then paid a kid from the mail room to have sex with her while she was passed out, just so you could break up with her guilt-free when she sobbingly confessed in the morning. She killed herself two months later. Mr. Brace disowned his gay son. Very compassionate, Mr. Brace. Mr. Ray put his mother in a third-rate nursing home and then used the profits from the sale of her home to buy an oriental rug for himself. Heavens. Mr. Barker flew to Thailand on the company account to have sex with an eleven year old boy. Mr. Holtzman okayed the production of Mooby Dolls from materials he knew to be toxic and unsafe, because it was - survey says? - less costly. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">sees the female board member<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou, on the other hand, are an innocent. You lead a good life. Good for you. But you, Mr. Whitland, you have more skeletons in your closet than the rest of this assembled party. I cannot even mention them aloud. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">whispers something in Whitland's ear<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're his father, you sick fuck. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Whitland starts crying<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<span class=\"character\">Hospital P. A.<\/span>:\nI repeat, this is not a drill. This is the apocalypse. Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion. Thank you. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know what the dead do with most of their time? They watch the living. Especially in the shower. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI can't wait to die. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">after throwing Bartleby and Loki off a train; a la Indiana Jones<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Silent Bob<\/span><\/a>:\nNo ticket. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nThe whole fucking world's against us, dude, I swear to God. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nNo pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nAnyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">about Christ<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat He really hates is the shit that gets carried out in his name. Wars. Bigotry. Televangelism. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nLeave it to the Catholics to destroy existence. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">about Azrael's neutrality in the Holy Conflict<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat are you, some kind of fucking chicken? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nNo, I was an ARTIST, STUPID! I WAS INSPIRATION! A muse has no place in battle! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nSo after the fallen were banished to hell, God turned on those who wouldn't fight, and Azrael was sent down with the demons. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">mockingly<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nSomething he considers a GRAVE injustice! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nAh, come on! Don't tell me you NEVER questioned the judgement, Serendipity. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nNo. It never bothered me. So you were an artist! Big deal! Elvis was an artist. But that didn't stop him from joining the service in time of war. And that's why he's The King, and you're a schmuck. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nYou are the great great great GREAT great grand-niece of Jesus Christ. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSo that would make Bethany... part black? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWhite folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm telling you, man, this ceremony is a big mistake. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nThe Catholic Church does not make mistakes. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nPlease. What about the Church's silent consent to the slave trade? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nAnd its platform of noninvolvement during the Holocaust? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nAll right, mistakes were made. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">the Stygian Triplets close in on Bethany<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSnootch to the motherfuckin' nootch! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Jay and Silent Bob kick the Triplets' asses<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">about the protesters outside the Abortion Clinic<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're Catholic, can't you talk to them? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nThey hate me more than you. At least you have an excuse, you're Jewish, you don't know any better. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nI don't think they'd accept that one, we used that one already when we killed Christ. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany, Jay, and Silent Bob are sitting in a diner; the guys are staring at Bethany expectantly<\/span>]\nSo what's up? You have a friend for Silent Bob or are you just gonna do us both? If so, I'm first. I hate sloppy seconds. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're a man of principle. Jersey's pretty far from McHenry, may I ask what brought you here? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSome fuck named John Hughes. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\n\"16 Candles\" John Hughes? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know that guy too? That fuckin' guy. He made this flick, \"16 Candles\". Not bad, there's tits in it but no bush. But Ebert over here don't give a shit about that kind of thing, 'cause he's like, all in love with this John Hughes guy. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Silent Bob shakes his head with a \"whatever\" look on his face<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHe goes out and rents, like, every one of his movies. Fuckin' \"Breakfast Club\", where all these stupid kids actually show up for detention. Fuckin' \"Weird Science\", where this babe wants to take her gear off and get down, but oh no, she don't, 'cause it's a PG movie. And then \"Pretty in Pink\", which I can't even watch with this tubby bitch anymore 'cause every time he gets to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little bitch with a skinned knee and shit. And there's nothing worse than watching a fuckin' fat man weep. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Silent Bob blows out his cigarette smoke angrily<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat exactly brought you to Illinois? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSee, all these movies take place in this small town called Shermer in Illinois, where all the honeys are top-shelf but all the dudes are whiny pussies. Except for Judd Nelson, he was fuckin' harsh. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">he and Silent Bob bump fists<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nBut best of all, there was no one dealin', man. And then it hits me: we could live like FAT rats if we were the blunt connection in Shermer, Illinois. So we collected some money we were owed and caught a bus. But you know what the fuck we found out when we got there? There IS no Shermer in Illinois. Movies are fuckin' bullshit. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nAre you saying you believe? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nNo. But I have a good idea. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Silent Bob hits Azrael in the chest with a blessed golf-club - his chest shatters, revealing black ooze<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nBut I'm a fuckin' demon. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nConsequences schmonsequences. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWhose house? Run's house! I said whose house? Run's house! who's house say what run's house say what Martin! Martin! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nLadies and gentlemen, you have been judged guilty of sinning against our almighty God, and I promise you, you shall pay for your trespasses, in blood! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">he rips open his shirt to reveal a silver breastplate<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWings, now. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm feeling a little exposed here... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nDO IT! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nGet offa me. I wanna see what's up. What the fuck is this shit? Who the fuck are you, lady? Why the fuck did you hug my head? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nQuite a little mouth on him, isn't there? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat the fuck is this, The Piano? Why ain't this broad talking? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nI believe the answers that you seek lie within my companion's eyes. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat the fuck does that mean? Has everyone gone fuckin' nuts? What the fuck happened to that guy's head? I want some... <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">God kisses him on the cheek. Jay faints<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nBethany, you of anyone should know that tits dont make a woman. As you can see, I lack definition. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">off the screen<\/span>]\nHey! They're getting a free show! Let me see that shit! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nRead the Bible again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nFill them pews, people, that's the key. Grab the little ones as well. Hook 'em while they're young. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nKind of like the tobacco industry? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nChrist, if only we had their numbers. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">waking from a dream<\/span>]\nI didn't cum on you, Pete, I swear. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">after Rufus has fallen from the sky<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nSpeaking of which, you're awfully nude. Rufus, is it? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nYes, Rufus it is. It's usually 'Long Rufus' but it's a little cold out here, you understand <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nDon't... See, don't let your sympathies get the best of you, they did me once. Scion or not, she's still just a human, and by passing through that arch, our sins are forgiven, no harm, no foul. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nMy God... I've heard a rant like this before. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat did you say? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI've heard a rant like this before. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nDon't you fucking do that to me! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou sound like the Morning star. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou shut your fucking mouth! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou do! You sound like Lucifer, man! You've fucking lost it! You're not talking about going home, Bartleby, you're talking about fucking *war* on *God* Well, *fuck* that! I have seen what happens to the proud when they take on the Throne! I'm going back to Wisconsin <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">Slams Loki into a wall<\/span>]\nWe're going home, Loki. And no one, not you, not even the Almighty Himself, is gonna make that otherwise. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're not with the Fight-to-Lifer's? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou mean those fucks with the signs and pictures of dead babies? Shit no. Me and Silent Bob are pro-choice. A woman's body is her own fucking business. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know, maybe you're wrong about this slaughter thing. How can you even be sure what incurs the Lord's wrath these days? Times change. I remember when eating meat on a Friday was supposed to be a Hell-worthy trespass. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nThe major sins never change. Besides, you know, I can spot a commandment-breaker from, like, a mile away. So, bet on it. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nThis from the guy who still owes me 10 bucks over that bet about what was gonna be the bigger movie - \"E. T. \" or \"Krush Groove\"? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know, fuck you, man, 'cause time's gonna tell on that one. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">brief pause<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat, are you insinuating that I don't have what it takes anymore? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nInsinuating, no. Flat-out telling you. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI know they were just kids, but we kicked their fucken pube-less asses! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nHowever, if you should decide to stop being selfish and accept your responsibility, you won't be alone. You'll have support. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat, more angels? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nProphets. in a manner of speaking... two of them. The one who speaks... and he will, at great lengths, whether you want him to or not... will make mention of himself as a prophet. The other one... well... doesn't speak. He's the quiet type <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany decides to accompany Jay and Silent Bob to New Jersey<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI want to go with you. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat, steady? You want to be my girlfriend OK, but Silent Bob gets to live with us and you pay the rent. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Jay drives Bethany's car; the motor shrieks<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat gear are you in? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n\"Gear\"? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to the female Mooby employee after shooting the board members<\/span>]\nGum? Oh these guys, they were fakes You're a pure soul. You have nothing to worry about. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">holds his gun up<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nBut you did not say \"God bless you\" when I sneezed. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">yelling off camera<\/span>]\nLOKI! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're getting off light! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nSo once he's done with the firstborn, Loki takes his friend Bartleby out for a post-slaughter drink. And over many rounds, they get into this discussion about whether or not murder in the name of God is okay. And in the end, Bartleby convinces Loki to quit his position and take a lesser one that doesn't involve slaughter. So - very inebriated - Loki tells God he quits, throws down his fiery sword, and gives Him the finger. Which ruins it for the rest of us, because from that day forward, God decreed that all angels could no longer imbibe alcohol. Hence all the spitting. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nAll right, but let's say we're caught in a situation where we've got like five minutes to live, like a bomb or something is gonna go off. Would you fuck us then? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nIn that highly unlikely situation? Yeah, sure. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nShe's a slut. Bunnnng. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nIn the three years I followed His ass around Jerusalem, did I ever get laid? Hell no. And I was in my prime. I could've been knee-deep in shepherd's daughters, not to mention fine-ass Mary Magdalene. She had a thing for dark meat, if you follow me. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nYou are Bethany Sloane. Nobody can take that away from you, not even God. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWe were sent by Him who is called I Am! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nCute. Really cute. Now come on, kids, playtime with the Cardinal is over. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWorked for Moses. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nHow? That's the only thing I couldn't figure out. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nOh no, I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Silent Bob kills Azrael with Cardinal Glick's golf club<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nGlick's the kind of asshole that would bless his own clubs for a better game. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nQuit killing people, that's high profile. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, lighten up. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to the Stygian triplets<\/span>]\nGo back to your paper routes, you Mighty Duck fucks. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany meets Serendipity<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nLet me guess. The 14th Apostle, left out of the Bible because she's a woman? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nThis girl's no woman. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Serendipity<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nNo offense. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, so those weren't tits I saw Jay cozying up to? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">hugs her breasts<\/span>]\nWhat, these? You should know better than anybody at this table that tits don't make the woman. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nHell, the tubby coat-wearin' motherfucker's got tits, <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nVery basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, I'm Jay, and this is my hetero-lifemate Silent Bob. I don't know who those kids were, but they would've kicked yours and Lunchbox's asses if I hadn't represented. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany Sloane<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">shouting<\/span>]\nWhy? What the fuck do you want with me? I fucking hate you. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nIt never ends. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nDo you know about voodoo? No real doctrin of faith to speak of , more an arrangement of superstitions. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nSo you... what? Inspire people? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat just went down with your friends over there? It doesn't really take a Muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI forgot my little voodoo doll. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">looks at Whitland<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nWow. It really does look just like you. Maybe, if I believed enough... <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">pauses, then crushes voodoo doll of Whitland, who is terrified but unharmed<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">laughs<\/span>]\nI don't believe in voodoo. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">leaves<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">re-enters with a gun<\/span>]\nBut I do believe in this. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">shoots Whitland<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Rufus starts walking<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWait a second! Between guys with wings, guys falling out of the sky, and guys trying like hell to fuck me, I think I've been pretty patient so far, and I'm not taking another step until you tell me where the hell you came from! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nMe? I came from heaven. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">starts walking again<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nIs this why I had to come down here this morning, man? Is this why I had to miss my fucking cartoons? You call me, you tell me it's important, you know. What, to share in your half-assed obsession with Hallmark moment? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nWe're going home. Somebody sent us this in the mail. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nOhhh, Bartleby. Was Wisconsin really *that* bad? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nExcuse me, weren't we just in the woods? What are we doing here now? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nGoing out in style. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nThe Voice! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">mocking surprise<\/span>]\nThe apostle. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHoly shit - you're a Jehovah's Witness! All the fine chicks that come out of that place, and we gotta get the one Jesus freak! Let's go, Silent Bob. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nNo. Wait... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI'll scream rape. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nI have issues with anyone who treats G-d as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nGet me a... Holy Bartender. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0536866\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartender<\/span><\/a>:\nNever heard of it. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nAhh, he doesn't know how to make a Holy Bartender. You do, don't you, Muse? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nDon't... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nAhh, anybody? No? <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Jay and Silent Bob shake their heads<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, I know how to make a Holy Bartender... <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Azrael pulls out an MAC-11, shoots the bartender repeatedly, then laughs hysterically<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nGet it? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">restrained by the Stygian triplets who have suddenly appeared<\/span>]\nSweet Jesus, Azrael why? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nCome on, demon, I wanna see you try that shit on someone who's already dead! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nNow, now, apostle, you maintain that kind of an attitude and you and the barkeep won't be the only corpses in the room. The Christ bitch will join you. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">referring to Bethany<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">face lights up<\/span>]\nOh... wait. I get it. Holy Bartender! Ha, ha, ha! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHeh, me lead you? Lady look at me, I don't even know where the hell I am half the time! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0839486\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Noman the Golgothan<\/span><\/a>:\nNot born. SHIT into existence. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nCan you believe it? Me - a muse, for God's sake. I can take anyone I meet and give a zillion and nine ideas a second, but I can't keep any for myself. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nHuh. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nHer quirky sense of humor. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nChurch laws are fallible because they're created by man. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nYou were martyred? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nThat's one way of putting it. Another way of putting it would be to say that I was bludgeoned to shit by big fucking rocks. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bethany and Rufus find Jay and Silent Bob at a strip club<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat are you doing? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nProving to this bastard I ain't gay. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nLong story, forget it. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nI can spot a commandment-breaker a mile away. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nShe's fucking pissed, dude. She'll never fuck us now. Well, maybe you, but definitely not me. Let me know how she is. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany Sloane<\/span><\/a>:\nNOBODY IS FUCKING ME! YOU GOT THAT! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nYour hard-on for smiting has prevented us from negotiating what should be the relatively simple matter of catching or staying on a bus. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">On Christ<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nHe likes to listen to people talk. Says it sounds like music to Him. Christ loved to sit around the fire and listen to me and the other guys. Whenever we were going on about unimportant shit, He always had a smile on His face. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">On Christ<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nThe Man loved being human. Probably why He was so good at it. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know those constitutionals He likes to take? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany Sloane<\/span><\/a>:\nConstitutionals? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nI think we're beyond euphemisms at this point: God's a Skee-Ball fanatic. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nSo what do we do now? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Bartleby and Loki slaughter parishioners outside a church<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're looking at eons of repression getting purged. If only they'd let us jerk off. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nJesus wasn't white, Jesus was black. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWell then why did he get written about and you didn't? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, he IS the son of God. Kinda hard to have a New Testament without him. So you fudge a few facts, put a spin on his ethnicity. Leavin' me out's okay because you still got twelve white boys to choose from. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nAre you buying any of this shit? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Bethany<\/span>]\nThe man was right about you. And I am going to go home and tell him so. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Jay And Silent Bob<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nAnd if you clean up your language, I JUST might put in a good word for you too. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0003620\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Silent Bob<\/span><\/a>:\nThanks. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">first lines<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<span class=\"character\">Announcer<\/span>:\nLadies and Gentlemen, the driving force behind Catholicism WOW, Cardinal Glick. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0137506\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Cardinal Glick<\/span><\/a>:\nThank you, thank you, thank you. Now we all know how the majority and the media in this country view the Catholic church. They think of us as a passe, archaic institution. People find the Bible obtuse... even hokey. Now in an effort to disprove all that the church has appointed this year as a time of renewal... both of faith and of style. For example, the crucifix. While it has been a time honored symbol of our faith, Holy Mother Church has decided to retire this highly recognizable, yet wholly depressing image of our Lord crucified. Christ didn't come to Earth to give us the willies... He came to help us out. He was a booster. And it is with that take on our Lord in mind that we've come up with a new, more inspiring sigil. So it is with great pleasure that I present you with the first of many revamps the \"Catholicism WOW. \" campaign will unveil over the next year. I give you... The Buddy Christ. Now that's not the sanctioned term we're using for the symbol, just something we've been kicking around the office, but look at it. Doesn't it... pop? Buddy Christ... <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nAll lines are currently down. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">to the female board member<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're a pure soul... but you didn't say \"God bless you\" when I sneezed. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">raises his gun to the female board member's head<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nLoki! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">angrily<\/span>]\nYou're getting off light. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">as he leaves the board room<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're so lucky. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany Sloane<\/span><\/a>:\nWhy are we here? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001551\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">God<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">pokes Bethany's nose<\/span>]\nNweep. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nBehold the Metatron. Herald of the Almighty and voice of the one true God. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI fell in love wit chew. We fell in love wit chew. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm going to have to start off by apologizing for my friend, he has a penchant for the dramatic. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">on Azrael<\/span>]\nSo he's a Muse too? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nFormer Muse. <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">sing-song<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nHe was kicked out... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nOh, by all means, tell them, Serendipity. Tell them how I was slighted by the Allmighty. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nYou got what you deserved, you yellow shithead. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nEver the fucking apple polisher! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\nSo, Jay tells us you're gonna sleep with him. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI get it! Holy Bartender! That's a great one! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, I am the last Scion. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nActually, you WERE the last Scion. Now this <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">puts his hand on Bethany's stomach<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nis the last Scion. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nYou mean, I'm pregnant? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou think someone threw him out of a plane with a message written on him like in Con Air? You ever see that flick? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nAww man! That sucked! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">hiding behind silent Bob<\/span>]\nIt's the living dead! Kill it! Kill it! <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nCon Air? Con Shit! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to herself looking at the sky<\/span>]\nYou gotta be kidding me. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat about sex? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nNo sex. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nPeople die for it, people kill for it. The whole of existence is in jeopardy right now, because of the Catholic belief structure, regarding this plenary indulgence bullshit. Bartlteby and Loki, whether they know it or not, are exploiting that belief. And if they're successful, you and me, all of this, ends in a heartbeat. All over a belief. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">about Bartleby<\/span>]\nHe just lost it. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000354\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Loki<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Bartleby<\/span>]\nWho makes out with their wife? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">cf Mallrats<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nOne side, red. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nWax on, wax off. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n\"I do believe in this.\" What does that mean? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">repeated line<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat the shit is that? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Standing beside Bethany's car, its engine burned out<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nLike I ever drove before... <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">while Loki is laying waste to the Mooby board room, Bartelby is sitting in the lounge reading \"Mooby Magazine\"<\/span>]\nI cant believe we forgot about the magazine. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">after he and Silent Bob join a gang and the Golgothan poop monster is heading towards them<\/span>]\nSmoke that motherfucker like it aint no thang! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI don't know what to say... or think... except... <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nThat you offer us sex as a reward. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nHey! What I just did gave me a fucking migraine! So if you don't pipe down, I'm going to yank your sack off like a paper towel. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nNow if I remember my protocol correctly, the powers will attempt to contact the Last Scion - which leaves us no other recourse than to eliminate her before she enters the fray. I need you three to shuffle her loose the mortal coil, <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nStall Bartleby from going into that church. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHow the hell am I supposed to do that? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nThink of something. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nI already did, but it takes two of us. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">after meeting God<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou want to hear something sick? I got half a stock when she kissed me. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">last lines<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">after the cast and crew credits<\/span>]\nSo... does that mean Bethany's... part black? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat are you? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000614\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Metatron<\/span><\/a>:\nI'm pissed off is what I am! Do you go around drenching everyone who comes into your room with flame-retardant chemicals? No wonder you're single. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSo do you do anal? Is it true that chicks fart if you blast 'em in the ass? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSmoke that motherfucker like it ain't no thang. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Loki<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nQuit leering at me. People are gonna think I just broke up with you. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know, I hear pregnant women can have sex until their third trimester. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI'll keep that in mind. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nWhy? 'Cause I'm a black man. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nNo wonder he saw Jesus. Homey's rockin' the ganj. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Liz gets out of her car and heads into Women's Clinic; picketers greet her<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0424682\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Steve-Dave Pulasti<\/span><\/a>:\nYou're gonna burn in hell, ya fuckin' baby killer. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0281110\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Walter Grover<\/span><\/a>:\nYeah, tell her, Steve-Dave. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000413\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Liz<\/span><\/a>:\nHoly shit, it's The Pope. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nAre we too late? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nTo save these poor schmucks?... Yeah. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHey Big Bird? Wanna play the Counting Game? Count the shells Sucker Duck! <\/p><p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">proceeds to shoot off Bartelby's wings with an MAC-11<\/span>]\n<\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSnoogans. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nBut you'll be destroyed too. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nHuman, have you ever been to hell? I'd rather not exist than endure that expirence a secound longer, and if I have to drag down everyone else with me... so be it. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nSo this is all about revenge. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nAfter the first couple million years, escape from hell became my all consuming reason <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nI didn't ask you out for sex. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWell, I'll take head. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Bethany<\/span>]\nIf we're not gonna fuck, then what the fuck did you ask us out for? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">about the bible<\/span>]\nI'm supposed to be in it. I was the thirteenth apostle. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nI thought she looked familiar. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWho? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nSerendipity. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Bethany<\/span>]\nLet me give you a little inside information about God <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Silent Bob<\/span>]\nBiggey! The door! The door! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">smoking a joint<\/span>]\nFuck, man, I think this shit just kicked in. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to the parishioners<\/span>]\nPrepare to taste God's wrath. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Officer McGee<\/span>]\nMr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">to Silent Bob<\/span>]\nGo ahead, pick it up. Call it a gift. Come on, that's it. Take a shot. Take your best fucking shot. No, I'm serious, come on, take it. Come on. Come on, bright boy. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nThat's what you get, Mother fucker! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nPoopytrim. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nHis piece will be rubbing inside of your armor! <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nYou know death is a worry of the living. The dead like myself only worry about decay and necrophiliacs. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nJesus Christ, Azrael - how'd you get out of Hell? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0005134\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Azrael<\/span><\/a>:\nI told them I was coming up on a routine possession. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nSonny, let me make a deal wit ya. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n[<span class=\"fine\">after some time<\/span>]\nHahaha, Holy Bartender! I get it! That's a great one. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n[<span class=\"fine\">Jay, Silent Bob, Bethany and Rufus are eating breakfast at Mooby's<\/span>]\n<\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nMan, I remember when all we used to have for breakfast was fish and goat's milk. What do you call this shit? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nEgga-Mooby muffin. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000255\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bartleby<\/span><\/a>:\nDo I come off as gay? <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\nWe can lay here all comatose like that John Doe Jersey bastard over there, or we can get makin' with the love. <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000400\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Bethany<\/span><\/a>:\nWhat did you say? <\/p><p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0582939\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Jay<\/span><\/a>:\n'Makin' with the love.' It's a nice way of saying boning. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<span class=\"character\">Priest<\/span>:\nWell, now please rise for the recession of faith. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0000161\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Serendipity<\/span><\/a>:\nThe whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again some time. Women are bigger antagonists than Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks. <\/p>    <\/div><hr\/><div class=\"imdb_quote\">\n<p>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/imdb.com\/name\/nm0001674\/?ref_=tt_trv_qu\"><span class=\"character\">Rufus<\/span><\/a>:\nHey, man, back in the old days with J.C., we used to walk everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle? <\/p>    <\/div><\/div><\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Our review of Dogma (1999) written and directed by Kevin Smith. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1153,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"elementor_theme","format":"standard","meta":{"sfsi_plus_gutenberg_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_show_text_before_share":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_type":"","sfsi_plus_gutenberg_icon_alignemt":"","sfsi_plus_gutenburg_max_per_row":"","episode_type":"audio","audio_file":"https:\/\/mcdn.podbean.com\/mf\/web\/u5nrpa\/podcast10_dogma.mp3","cover_image":"","cover_image_id":"","duration":"","filesize":"","date_recorded":"","explicit":"","block":"","itunes_episode_number":"","itunes_title":"","itunes_season_number":"","itunes_episode_type":"","filesize_raw":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32,35],"tags":[],"series":[75],"class_list":["post-1152","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-movies","category-podcasting","series-default-podcast"],"episode_featured_image":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/02\/dogma_800w.jpg","episode_player_image":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/wp-content\/plugins\/seriously-simple-podcasting\/assets\/images\/no-album-art.png","download_link":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/podcast-download\/1152\/podcast-10-dogma","player_link":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/podcast-player\/1152\/podcast-10-dogma","audio_player":"<a class=\"wp-embedded-audio\" href=\"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/podcast-player\/1152\/podcast-10-dogma\">https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/podcast-player\/1152\/podcast-10-dogma<\/a>","episode_data":{"playerMode":"light","subscribeUrls":{"apple_podcasts":{"key":"apple_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/3-guys-and-a-flick-movie-reviews\/id1554911182","label":"Apple Podcasts","class":"apple_podcasts","icon":"apple-podcasts.png"},"google_podcasts":{"key":"google_podcasts","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.google.com\/feed\/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkLnBvZGJlYW4uY29tL3RocmVlZ3V5c2FuZGFmbGljay9mZWVkLnhtbA","label":"Google Podcasts","class":"google_podcasts","icon":"google-podcasts.png"},"podbean":{"key":"podbean","url":"https:\/\/threeguysandaflick.podbean.com\/","label":"Podbean","class":"podbean","icon":"podbean.png"},"podchaser":{"key":"podchaser","url":"https:\/\/www.podchaser.com\/podcasts\/3-guys-and-a-flick-movie-revie-1784960","label":"Podchaser","class":"podchaser","icon":"podchaser.png"},"spotify":{"key":"spotify","url":"https:\/\/open.spotify.com\/show\/3izS6keyh6J84wM3lmqNam","label":"Spotify","class":"spotify","icon":"spotify.png"},"stitcher":{"key":"stitcher","url":"https:\/\/www.stitcher.com\/podcast\/3-guys-and-a-flick","label":"Stitcher","class":"stitcher","icon":"stitcher.png"},"itunes":{"key":"itunes","url":"https:\/\/podcasts.apple.com\/us\/podcast\/3-guys-and-a-flick-movie-reviews\/id1554911182","label":"iTunes","class":"itunes","icon":"itunes.png"}},"rssFeedUrl":"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/feed\/podcast\/default-podcast","embedCode":"<blockquote class=\"wp-embedded-content\" data-secret=\"JgxGMQobxx\"><a href=\"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/15\/podcast-10-dogma\/\">Podcast 3: Dogma<\/a><\/blockquote><iframe sandbox=\"allow-scripts\" security=\"restricted\" src=\"https:\/\/3guysandaflick.com\/index.php\/2021\/02\/15\/podcast-10-dogma\/embed\/#?secret=JgxGMQobxx\" width=\"500\" height=\"350\" title=\"&#8220;Podcast 3: Dogma&#8221; &#8212; 3 Guys and A Flick\" data-secret=\"JgxGMQobxx\" frameborder=\"0\" marginwidth=\"0\" marginheight=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" class=\"wp-embedded-content\"><\/iframe><script type=\"text\/javascript\">\n\/* <![CDATA[ *\/\n\/*! 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