Recorded on 7/22/2021
In this episode we review the movie Blazing Saddles (1974) starring Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens, Alex Karras, Mel Brooks, Harvey Korman and Madeline Kahn. WARNING: There will be SPOILERS.
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Quick Synopsis
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Released: February 7, 1974
Director: Mel Brooks
Screenplay: Mel Brooks, Norman Steinberg, Andrew Bergman, Richard Pryor, Al Uger
Story By: Andrew Bergman
Stars: Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens, Alex Karras, Harvey Korman, Madeline Kahn
Plot: In order to ruin a western town, a corrupt politician appoints a black Sheriff, who promptly becomes his most formidable adversary.How did this movie do:
Budget: $2.6 million
Box office: $120 million -
Awards
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- Included among the “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die”, edited by Steven Schneider.
- Included among the American Film Institute’s 2000 list of the Top 100 Funniest American Movies.
- Included among the American Film Institute’s 1998 list of the 400 movies nominated for the Top 100 Greatest American Movies.
- This film is ranked #6 on AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Laughs.
- “Premiere” voted this movie one of “The 50 Greatest Comedies Of All Time” in 2006.
- Is number nine on Bravo’s list of the 100 Funniest Movies.
- Nominated for 3 Academy Awards : Best Actress in a Supporting Role (Madeline Kahn), Best Film Editing (John C. Howard, Danford B. Greene), Best Music, Original Song (John Morris/music, Mel Brooks/lyrics For the song “Blazing Saddles”)
- Included among the “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die”, edited by Steven Schneider.
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Casting
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- The original plan for the film was to have Alan Arkin direct with James Earl Jones playing Bart.
- Gene Wilder was originally offered the role of Hedley Lamarr, but didn’t feel right for it, and told Mel Brooks that he wanted Jim, The Waco Kid instead. However, Brooks wanted someone older for Jim, The Waco Kid, someone like Dan Dailey. Dailey was originally considered for the role of Jim, The Waco Kid, but poor health and declining eyesight forced him to decline.
- Mel Brooks also asked Johnny Carson to play Jim, The Waco Kid. He declined.
- The role of Bart was intended for Richard Pryor, but due to the controversial nature of Pryor’s stand-up routines of the day, and his reputation, Mel Brooks couldn’t secure financing for the project with Pryor in that role. So he was made a co-writer of the script, and Cleavon Little played Bart. Pryor later got to star in a different western comedy, Adiós Amigo (1975). However, according to a 2013 interview with Gene Wilder, the casting change was a result of Pryor contacting Brooks via telephone during production and informing Brooks that he was in Cleveland, and “didn’t know why.”
- Production began with Gig Young as Jim, The Waco Kid. On the first day of shooting the scene where the drunk Waco Kid hangs from a bunk asking if Bart is black, Young revealed that he really was indeed drunk (he had had an alcohol problem for years) and proceeded to undergo a physical collapse on-set. According to Mel Brooks, “On the first day of shooting… we hung him upside down in the jail cell, and green stuff started spewing out of his mouth.” Young’s agent tried to defend him by explaining that he was a recovering alcoholic, with Brooks responding that wasn’t actually recovered yet. Brooks shut down production for a day and Gene Wilder flew cross-country to take over the role. Young sued Warner Brothers for breach of contract.
- One day in the Warner Brothers commissary, Mel Brooks saw John Wayne sitting at a table next to him. Wayne then saw Brooks and said to him, “I hear you’re making a Western where they say, ‘Blow it out your ass’.” Brooks said he was, and taking a chance, gave Wayne a script, offering him a part in the film. After reading it, Wayne told Brooks that it was too dirty and said he would not be able to do it, but assured Brooks that he would “be first in line to see it!”
- The original plan for the film was to have Alan Arkin direct with James Earl Jones playing Bart.
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Trivia
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- MOVIE TITLES: “Tex X,” “Black Bart,” “The Purple Sage.” Brooks says that one morning he was taking a shower and the words “Blazing Saddles” suddenly popped into his head.
- (at around 45 mins) Cleavon Little was not warned about the “you know. . . . morons” line. His reaction was real.
- When the film was first screened for Warner Brothers executives, almost none of them laughed, and the movie looked to be a disaster that the studio would not release. However, Mel Brooks quickly set up a subsequent screening for the studio’s employees. When these regular folks laughed uproariously throughout the movie, Warner Brothers finally agreed to take a chance on releasing it.
- Hedy Lamarr sued Mel Brooks over the use of the name Hedley Lamarr and settled out of court. Brooks said he was flattered by this attention. The reference to suing Hedy Lamarr was from Harvey Korman’s first day on the set and, ironically, made a comedic reference to what was at that point a non-existent lawsuit.
- Mel Brooks said that “I’m Tired” was the “dirtiest song I ever wrote in my life.”
- Gene Wilder said of the film, “They’ve smashed racism in the face, but they’re doing it while you laugh.”
- When Mel Brooks advertised in the show business trade papers for a “Frankie Laine-type” voice to sing the film’s title song, he was hoping for a good imitator. Instead, Frankie Laine himself showed up at Brooks’ office two days later, ready to do the job.
- Mel Brooks had repeated conflicts over content with Warner Brothers executives. They objected to the constant use of the n-word, the scene of Lili Von Shtupp seducing Bart in the dark, the flatulent campfire scene, and Mongo punching out a horse, among other issues. Brooks, whose contract gave him final content control, declined to make any substantial changes. He did remove the final line in Bart and Lili’s seduction scene: “I hate to disappoint you, ma’am, but you’re sucking my arm.” When asked later about his frequent use of “n-word” in the script, Brooks said he received consistent support for its use from Richard Pryor and Cleavon Little. He added that if the film were to be remade today, the controversial word would have to be omitted, “and then, you have no movie.” After the film’s release, he said, he received many letters of complaint about the frequent “n-word” references, “but of course, most of them were from white people.”
- (at around 41 mins) Supposedly, this movie officially marks the first time the sound of farting has ever been used in a film (at least according to the filmmakers in the DVD documentary).
- Richard Pryor came up with the character “Mongo.”
- The character Governor LePetomane was named after a popular turn-of-the-century French performer, Joseph Pujol, whose stage name was “Le Pétomane.” Pujol was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to inhale air into his rectum and expel the air upon command, farting at will. His stage name combines the French verb péter, “to fart” with the -mane suffix, meaning “-maniac,” which translates to “fartomaniac.” The profession was also referred to as “flatulist,” “farteur,” or “fartiste.” He told stories punctuated with flatulence, demonstrated his ability to blow out candle flames from two feet way with his back turned, and performed “La Marseillaise” and popular tunes. So basically, the Governor’s name is William Fartomaniac.
- The world premiere was at the Pickwick Drive-In Theater in Burbank, CA (since demolished). The guests rode horses into the drive-in for the premiere. The Pickwick was also used for a location in Grease (1978).
- (at around 46 mins) The scene in which Mongo knocks out a horse has a basis in reality. Mel Brooks’ former Your Show of Shows (1950) and Caesar’s Hour (1954) boss, Sid Caesar, who was a physically imposing and somewhat violent man, reported in his 1982 autobiography “Where Have I Been?” that while trailriding with his wife, her horse caused trouble and he punched it once between the eyes. The horse collapsed, unconscious. He notes that this event was Brooks’ inspiration for the “Mongo vs. horse” scene.
- (at around 46 mins) The bull that Mongo rides has “YES” painted on one side and “NO” painted on the other. This is apparently a reference to the practice in the 1950s of marking the back of school buses for which side was safe to pass on, essentially implying that Mongo and his mount are as big as a bus.
- The movie premiered on February 7, 1974, at the Pickwick Drive-In Theater in Burbank. Two hundred fifty invited guests, including Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder, rode horses to the event, and watched the film on horseback.
- During a speech honoring Mel Brooks as a Kennedy Center Honoree, former President Barack Obama mentioned going to see this film at the age of 12. When Brooks asked how he got in with the ratings restriction, Obama replied, “I think I had a fake ID, that I got with my fake birth certificate” before adding, “The statute of limitations has passed.”
- After the death of Gene Wilder in August of 2016, Mel Brooks and Burton Gilliam are the only survivors of the 14 main cast members. Mel Brooks was one of the older cast members, being 47 at the time of filming, with only Slim Pickens and Liam Dunn being older at the time of filming; they died at age 64 and 59 respectively.
- The character of “Gabby Johnson” is a tribute to George ‘Gabby’ Hayes, who some film historians have dubbed “The Ultimate Sidekick”. Hayes appeared in almost 200 films, nearly all westerns, including many early John Wayne films, and played sidekick to such western stars as Roy Rogers and Gene Autry.
- Mel Brooks wrote the movie out of anger at “white corruption, racism, and Bible-thumping bigotry”.
- Filmed on the same outdoor sets as Westworld (1973).
- In September 2016, while former President Barack Obama was introducing the winners of the 2015 National Medals of the Arts and Humanities (one of whom was Mel Brooks), Obama joked, “We are here today to honor the very best of their fields, creators who give every piece of themselves to their craft. As Mel Brooks once said to his writers on ‘Blazing Saddles’, which is a great film, ‘write anything you want, because we’ll never be heard from again. We will all be arrested for this movie’.”
- It’s unlikely if Mel Brooks knew the story, but in real life, a black man was named as the postmaster of Punta Gorda, FL, by a man who held a grudge against the town’s founders, as a deliberate affront to its Southern sensibilities.
- Mel Brooks wrote a song called “Bart” which would reveal that character’s backstory as a pimp, but it was cut before filming began, because he felt it slowed the film down and would make it less likely for audiences to sympathize with his plight.
- (at around 1h 23 mins) At the end of the final fight scene, as the camera pans to the Warner studio buildings, you can see another setting towards the back. This is the set that served as the town in The Dukes of Hazzard (1979) and you can see the brick building that served as the police station and town hall.
- Andrew Bergman said, “You couldn’t make this movie today. You can’t say the N-word in a movie today, not even in a comic way.”
- Mel Brooks’ character has “GOV” on the back of his jacket. He did the same gag in The Muppet Movie (1979).
- Bart’s reference to “the orange roof on Howard Johnson’s outhouse” is another reference to the modern Howard Johnson’s restaurant chain, which had a trademark orange roof on all of its buildings.
- There was a Blazing Saddles sitcom spinoff which aired on TV in 1975, which had a laugh track and starred future Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr.. It was called Black Bart (1975). It lasted only one episode and can be viewed on YouTube.
- When the Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) tells the sheriff why he stopped being a gunfighter and became a drunk–because gunslingers from miles around sought him out, and the final one was a child–his words are almost identical to that of Al Denton (Dan Duryea), the alcoholic former gunfighter in The Twilight Zone: Mr. Denton on Doomsday (1959).
- Lili Von Shtupp’s response to knocks at her door of “willkommen, bienvenue, welcome” is a nod to the song “Willkommen” from the 1966 musical, Cabaret.
- (at around 21 mins) When handing out the paddle balls to everyone at the table, Gov. William J. LePetomaine calls them by name as Frankie, Johnny, Patsy, and Kelly. “Frankie & Johnny” was a popular song in the 1930s and Patsy Kelly was a popular comic actress at that time.
- The $400 handcart would be worth $9006.44 in 2019.
- When Mel Brooks asked Richard Pryor for his thoughts about Cleavon Little playing Bart instead of Pryor himself, Pryor responded “I could be Cuban, but there’s no mistaking Cleavon – he’d scare the s*** out of those rednecks!”
- This was the first title ever released by Warner Home Video, with the catalog number 1001.
- Slim Pickens plays a character named Taggart, a railroad man. The famous Ayn Rand novel “Atlas Shrugged” features the Taggart family. The original patriarch was Nathaniel Taggart, who built a transcontinental railroad in the late 1800s, when this film is set.
- Count Basie: (at around 25 mins) Leader of the jazz band in the desert. The song being performed is “April in Paris”, written by Vernon Duke and E.Y. Harburg in 1932. The arrangement Basie played in the film was made in 1955 and recorded by him at least twice, first as an instrumental, and then at the 1956 Newport Jazz Festival with a vocal by Ella Fitzgerald.
- Mel Brooks: (at around 1h 10 mins) In the outlaw recruitment line, smiling and wearing an aviator’s costume. Also portrays the Governor and the Indian chief.
- Mel Brooks: [Harrumph] Created mob noise by having people say, “Harrumph”. We can hear an example of this moment after the townspeople refuse to give land to the Irish. In the ensuing hubbub, Brooks can be heard to say, “Everybody, harrumph!”
- Mel Brooks: [fourth wall] Often breaks the “fourth wall”, having actors and actresses speak directly to the audience.
- MOVIE TITLES: “Tex X,” “Black Bart,” “The Purple Sage.” Brooks says that one morning he was taking a shower and the words “Blazing Saddles” suddenly popped into his head.
Released: February 7, 1974
Director: Mel Brooks
Screenplay: Mel Brooks, Norman Steinberg, Andrew Bergman, Richard Pryor, Al Uger
Story By: Andrew Bergman
Stars: Cleavon Little, Gene Wilder, Slim Pickens, Alex Karras, Harvey Korman, Madeline Kahn
Plot: In order to ruin a western town, a corrupt politician appoints a black Sheriff, who promptly becomes his most formidable adversary.
How did this movie do:
Budget: $2.6 million
Box office: $120 million
- Included among the “1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die”, edited by Steven Schneider.
- Included among the American Film Institute’s 2000 list of the Top 100 Funniest American Movies.
- Included among the American Film Institute’s 1998 list of the 400 movies nominated for the Top 100 Greatest American Movies.
- This film is ranked #6 on AFI’s 100 Years… 100 Laughs.
- “Premiere” voted this movie one of “The 50 Greatest Comedies Of All Time” in 2006.
- Is number nine on Bravo’s list of the 100 Funniest Movies.
- Nominated for 3 Academy Awards : Best Actress in a Supporting Role (Madeline Kahn), Best Film Editing (John C. Howard, Danford B. Greene), Best Music, Original Song (John Morris/music, Mel Brooks/lyrics For the song “Blazing Saddles”)
- The original plan for the film was to have Alan Arkin direct with James Earl Jones playing Bart.
- Gene Wilder was originally offered the role of Hedley Lamarr, but didn’t feel right for it, and told Mel Brooks that he wanted Jim, The Waco Kid instead. However, Brooks wanted someone older for Jim, The Waco Kid, someone like Dan Dailey. Dailey was originally considered for the role of Jim, The Waco Kid, but poor health and declining eyesight forced him to decline.
- Mel Brooks also asked Johnny Carson to play Jim, The Waco Kid. He declined.
- The role of Bart was intended for Richard Pryor, but due to the controversial nature of Pryor’s stand-up routines of the day, and his reputation, Mel Brooks couldn’t secure financing for the project with Pryor in that role. So he was made a co-writer of the script, and Cleavon Little played Bart. Pryor later got to star in a different western comedy, Adiós Amigo (1975). However, according to a 2013 interview with Gene Wilder, the casting change was a result of Pryor contacting Brooks via telephone during production and informing Brooks that he was in Cleveland, and “didn’t know why.”
- Production began with Gig Young as Jim, The Waco Kid. On the first day of shooting the scene where the drunk Waco Kid hangs from a bunk asking if Bart is black, Young revealed that he really was indeed drunk (he had had an alcohol problem for years) and proceeded to undergo a physical collapse on-set. According to Mel Brooks, “On the first day of shooting… we hung him upside down in the jail cell, and green stuff started spewing out of his mouth.” Young’s agent tried to defend him by explaining that he was a recovering alcoholic, with Brooks responding that wasn’t actually recovered yet. Brooks shut down production for a day and Gene Wilder flew cross-country to take over the role. Young sued Warner Brothers for breach of contract.
- One day in the Warner Brothers commissary, Mel Brooks saw John Wayne sitting at a table next to him. Wayne then saw Brooks and said to him, “I hear you’re making a Western where they say, ‘Blow it out your ass’.” Brooks said he was, and taking a chance, gave Wayne a script, offering him a part in the film. After reading it, Wayne told Brooks that it was too dirty and said he would not be able to do it, but assured Brooks that he would “be first in line to see it!”
- MOVIE TITLES: “Tex X,” “Black Bart,” “The Purple Sage.” Brooks says that one morning he was taking a shower and the words “Blazing Saddles” suddenly popped into his head.
- (at around 45 mins) Cleavon Little was not warned about the “you know. . . . morons” line. His reaction was real.
- When the film was first screened for Warner Brothers executives, almost none of them laughed, and the movie looked to be a disaster that the studio would not release. However, Mel Brooks quickly set up a subsequent screening for the studio’s employees. When these regular folks laughed uproariously throughout the movie, Warner Brothers finally agreed to take a chance on releasing it.
- Hedy Lamarr sued Mel Brooks over the use of the name Hedley Lamarr and settled out of court. Brooks said he was flattered by this attention. The reference to suing Hedy Lamarr was from Harvey Korman’s first day on the set and, ironically, made a comedic reference to what was at that point a non-existent lawsuit.
- Mel Brooks said that “I’m Tired” was the “dirtiest song I ever wrote in my life.”
- Gene Wilder said of the film, “They’ve smashed racism in the face, but they’re doing it while you laugh.”
- When Mel Brooks advertised in the show business trade papers for a “Frankie Laine-type” voice to sing the film’s title song, he was hoping for a good imitator. Instead, Frankie Laine himself showed up at Brooks’ office two days later, ready to do the job.
- Mel Brooks had repeated conflicts over content with Warner Brothers executives. They objected to the constant use of the n-word, the scene of Lili Von Shtupp seducing Bart in the dark, the flatulent campfire scene, and Mongo punching out a horse, among other issues. Brooks, whose contract gave him final content control, declined to make any substantial changes. He did remove the final line in Bart and Lili’s seduction scene: “I hate to disappoint you, ma’am, but you’re sucking my arm.” When asked later about his frequent use of “n-word” in the script, Brooks said he received consistent support for its use from Richard Pryor and Cleavon Little. He added that if the film were to be remade today, the controversial word would have to be omitted, “and then, you have no movie.” After the film’s release, he said, he received many letters of complaint about the frequent “n-word” references, “but of course, most of them were from white people.”
- (at around 41 mins) Supposedly, this movie officially marks the first time the sound of farting has ever been used in a film (at least according to the filmmakers in the DVD documentary).
- Richard Pryor came up with the character “Mongo.”
- The character Governor LePetomane was named after a popular turn-of-the-century French performer, Joseph Pujol, whose stage name was “Le Pétomane.” Pujol was famous for his remarkable control of the abdominal muscles, which enabled him to inhale air into his rectum and expel the air upon command, farting at will. His stage name combines the French verb péter, “to fart” with the -mane suffix, meaning “-maniac,” which translates to “fartomaniac.” The profession was also referred to as “flatulist,” “farteur,” or “fartiste.” He told stories punctuated with flatulence, demonstrated his ability to blow out candle flames from two feet way with his back turned, and performed “La Marseillaise” and popular tunes. So basically, the Governor’s name is William Fartomaniac.
- The world premiere was at the Pickwick Drive-In Theater in Burbank, CA (since demolished). The guests rode horses into the drive-in for the premiere. The Pickwick was also used for a location in Grease (1978).
- (at around 46 mins) The scene in which Mongo knocks out a horse has a basis in reality. Mel Brooks’ former Your Show of Shows (1950) and Caesar’s Hour (1954) boss, Sid Caesar, who was a physically imposing and somewhat violent man, reported in his 1982 autobiography “Where Have I Been?” that while trailriding with his wife, her horse caused trouble and he punched it once between the eyes. The horse collapsed, unconscious. He notes that this event was Brooks’ inspiration for the “Mongo vs. horse” scene.
- (at around 46 mins) The bull that Mongo rides has “YES” painted on one side and “NO” painted on the other. This is apparently a reference to the practice in the 1950s of marking the back of school buses for which side was safe to pass on, essentially implying that Mongo and his mount are as big as a bus.
- The movie premiered on February 7, 1974, at the Pickwick Drive-In Theater in Burbank. Two hundred fifty invited guests, including Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder, rode horses to the event, and watched the film on horseback.
- During a speech honoring Mel Brooks as a Kennedy Center Honoree, former President Barack Obama mentioned going to see this film at the age of 12. When Brooks asked how he got in with the ratings restriction, Obama replied, “I think I had a fake ID, that I got with my fake birth certificate” before adding, “The statute of limitations has passed.”
- After the death of Gene Wilder in August of 2016, Mel Brooks and Burton Gilliam are the only survivors of the 14 main cast members. Mel Brooks was one of the older cast members, being 47 at the time of filming, with only Slim Pickens and Liam Dunn being older at the time of filming; they died at age 64 and 59 respectively.
- The character of “Gabby Johnson” is a tribute to George ‘Gabby’ Hayes, who some film historians have dubbed “The Ultimate Sidekick”. Hayes appeared in almost 200 films, nearly all westerns, including many early John Wayne films, and played sidekick to such western stars as Roy Rogers and Gene Autry.
- Mel Brooks wrote the movie out of anger at “white corruption, racism, and Bible-thumping bigotry”.
- Filmed on the same outdoor sets as Westworld (1973).
- In September 2016, while former President Barack Obama was introducing the winners of the 2015 National Medals of the Arts and Humanities (one of whom was Mel Brooks), Obama joked, “We are here today to honor the very best of their fields, creators who give every piece of themselves to their craft. As Mel Brooks once said to his writers on ‘Blazing Saddles’, which is a great film, ‘write anything you want, because we’ll never be heard from again. We will all be arrested for this movie’.”
- It’s unlikely if Mel Brooks knew the story, but in real life, a black man was named as the postmaster of Punta Gorda, FL, by a man who held a grudge against the town’s founders, as a deliberate affront to its Southern sensibilities.
- Mel Brooks wrote a song called “Bart” which would reveal that character’s backstory as a pimp, but it was cut before filming began, because he felt it slowed the film down and would make it less likely for audiences to sympathize with his plight.
- (at around 1h 23 mins) At the end of the final fight scene, as the camera pans to the Warner studio buildings, you can see another setting towards the back. This is the set that served as the town in The Dukes of Hazzard (1979) and you can see the brick building that served as the police station and town hall.
- Andrew Bergman said, “You couldn’t make this movie today. You can’t say the N-word in a movie today, not even in a comic way.”
- Mel Brooks’ character has “GOV” on the back of his jacket. He did the same gag in The Muppet Movie (1979).
- Bart’s reference to “the orange roof on Howard Johnson’s outhouse” is another reference to the modern Howard Johnson’s restaurant chain, which had a trademark orange roof on all of its buildings.
- There was a Blazing Saddles sitcom spinoff which aired on TV in 1975, which had a laugh track and starred future Oscar winner Louis Gossett Jr.. It was called Black Bart (1975). It lasted only one episode and can be viewed on YouTube.
- When the Waco Kid (Gene Wilder) tells the sheriff why he stopped being a gunfighter and became a drunk–because gunslingers from miles around sought him out, and the final one was a child–his words are almost identical to that of Al Denton (Dan Duryea), the alcoholic former gunfighter in The Twilight Zone: Mr. Denton on Doomsday (1959).
- Lili Von Shtupp’s response to knocks at her door of “willkommen, bienvenue, welcome” is a nod to the song “Willkommen” from the 1966 musical, Cabaret.
- (at around 21 mins) When handing out the paddle balls to everyone at the table, Gov. William J. LePetomaine calls them by name as Frankie, Johnny, Patsy, and Kelly. “Frankie & Johnny” was a popular song in the 1930s and Patsy Kelly was a popular comic actress at that time.
- The $400 handcart would be worth $9006.44 in 2019.
- When Mel Brooks asked Richard Pryor for his thoughts about Cleavon Little playing Bart instead of Pryor himself, Pryor responded “I could be Cuban, but there’s no mistaking Cleavon – he’d scare the s*** out of those rednecks!”
- This was the first title ever released by Warner Home Video, with the catalog number 1001.
- Slim Pickens plays a character named Taggart, a railroad man. The famous Ayn Rand novel “Atlas Shrugged” features the Taggart family. The original patriarch was Nathaniel Taggart, who built a transcontinental railroad in the late 1800s, when this film is set.
- Count Basie: (at around 25 mins) Leader of the jazz band in the desert. The song being performed is “April in Paris”, written by Vernon Duke and E.Y. Harburg in 1932. The arrangement Basie played in the film was made in 1955 and recorded by him at least twice, first as an instrumental, and then at the 1956 Newport Jazz Festival with a vocal by Ella Fitzgerald.
- Mel Brooks: (at around 1h 10 mins) In the outlaw recruitment line, smiling and wearing an aviator’s costume. Also portrays the Governor and the Indian chief.
- Mel Brooks: [Harrumph] Created mob noise by having people say, “Harrumph”. We can hear an example of this moment after the townspeople refuse to give land to the Irish. In the ensuing hubbub, Brooks can be heard to say, “Everybody, harrumph!”
- Mel Brooks: [fourth wall] Often breaks the “fourth wall”, having actors and actresses speak directly to the audience.
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Countries: United StatesLanguages: English, Yiddish, GermanBudget: $2,600,000 (estimated)
Quotes From The Movie
Quotes
[to two members of the KKK, while pretending to capture Bart]
Jim: Oh, boys! Lookee what I got heyuh.
Bart: Hey, where are the white women at?
[Bart returns unexpectedly after being sentenced to death]
Charlie: They said you was hung.
Bart: And they was right.
Jim: [consoling Bart, who is upset that his attempts to be cordial with the citizens of Rock Ridge led to him being racially insulted] What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny"? "Make yourself at home"? "Marry my daughter"? You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
Bart: [hears a crash in the prison cells] The drunk in number two must be awake.
[walks over to the cell]
Bart: Are we awake?
Jim: We're not sure. Are we... black?
Bart: Yes, we are.
Jim: Then we're awake... but we're very puzzled.
Bart: I better go check out this Mongo character.
[Bart reaches for his gun]
Jim: Oh no, don't do that, don't do that. If you shoot him, you'll just make him mad.
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of thought cascading into a waterfall of creative alternatives.
Taggart: God darnit, Mr. Lamarr, you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.
[Bart, disguised as a Klansman, describes his qualifications as a villain]
Bart: Stampeding cattle.
Hedley Lamarr: That's not much of a crime.
Bart: Through the Vatican?
Hedley Lamarr: [smiling] Kinkyyyy. Sign here.
Mexican Bandit: [a reference to THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE] Badges...? We don't need no stinking badges!
Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?
Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.
[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]
Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.
Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?
Lili Von Shtupp: Would you like another schnitzengruben?
Bart: No, thank you. Fifteen is my limit on schnitzengruben.
Lili Von Shtupp: Well, then how about a little...
[whispers in his ear]
Bart: Baby, please! I am not from Havana.
Lili Von Shtupp: Will I... see you again?
Bart: Well, it all depends on how much vitamin E I can get my hands on.
Bart: [on grandstand to the townspeople] Excuse me while I whip this out.
[reaches into waistline as crowd gasps and screams; Bart pulls out paper, they sigh with relief]
Hedley Lamarr: Meeting adjourned. Oh, I am sorry, sir, I didn't mean to overstep my bounds. You say that.
Governor Lepetomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: "Meeting is adjourned".
Governor Lepetomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: No, you *say* that, Governor.
Governor Lepetomane: What?
Hedley Lamarr: "Meeting is adjourned".
Governor Lepetomane: It is?
Hedley Lamarr: [sighs, then gives the governor a paddleball] Here, play around with this for awhile.
Governor Lepetomane: Thank you, Hedy.
Hedley Lamarr: No, it's Hedley!
Governor Lepetomane: It is?
Taggart: Send a wire to the main office and tell them I said...
[Bart whacks him with a shovel]
Taggart: OW!
Lyle: [writing] Send wire, main office, tell them I said "ow". Gotcha!
Hedley Lamarr: Men, you are about to embark on a great crusade to stamp out runaway decency in the west. Now you men will only be risking your lives, whilst I will be risking an almost certain Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor.
Jim: Well, it got so that every piss-ant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille. It got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word "draw" in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street when I heard a voice behind me say, "Reach for it, mister!" I spun around... and there I was, face to face with a six-year old kid. Well, I just threw my guns down and walked away. Little bastard shot me in the ass. So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled inside a whiskey bottle... and I've been there ever since.
Taggart: What in the wide, wide world of sports is a-goin' on here? I hired you people to get a bit of track laid, not to jump around like a bunch of Kansas City faggots!
Bart: Well, Jim, since you are my guest and I am your host, what's your pleasure? What do you like to do?
Jim: Oh, I don't know. Play chess... screw...
Bart: [quickly] Well, let's play chess.
Bart: Mornin', ma'am. And isn't it a lovely mornin'?
Elderly Woman: Up yours, nigger.
Mongo: Mongo only pawn... in game of life.
Hedley Lamarr: Sign here.
[Bart reaches for the pen... revealing his black hands]
Jim: [quickly] Why, Rhett! How many times have I told you to wash up after weekly cross burning?
[licks his fingers, then rubs Bart's hand]
Jim: See, it's coming off.
[Taggart whips off Bart's hood]
Bart: And now, for my next impression... Jesse Owens.
[runs off]
Bart: Sir, he specifically requested two "niggers". Well, to tell the family secret, my grandmother was Dutch.
[Lamarr's posse rides up on Bart's diversion: a single tollbooth in the middle of the desert]
Taggart: [1:19:44] *Le Petomane Thruway*? Now what'll that asshole think of next?
[turns to the posse]
Taggart: Has anybody got a dime?
[henchmen grumble, search their pockets]
Taggart: Somebody's gotta go back and get a shit-load of dimes!
[the Johnsons load their guns and point them at Bart. Bart then points his own pistol at his head]
Bart: [low voice] Hold it! Next man makes a move, the nigger gets it!
Olson Johnson: Hold it, men. He's not bluffing.
Dr. Sam Johnson: Listen to him, men. He's just crazy enough to do it!
Bart: [low voice] Drop it! Or I swear I'll blow this nigger's head all over this town!
Bart: [high-pitched voice] Oh, lo'dy, lo'd, he's desp'it! Do what he sayyyy, do what he sayyyy!
[townspeople drop their guns; Bart jams the gun into his neck and drags himself through the crowd towards the station]
Harriet Johnson: Isn't anybody going to help that poor man?
Dr. Sam Johnson: Hush, Harriet! That's a sure way to get him killed!
Bart: [high-pitched voice] Oooh! He'p me, he'p me! Somebody he'p me! He'p me! He'p me! He'p me!
Bart: [low voice] Shut up!
[Bart places his hand over his own mouth, then drags himself through the door into his office]
Bart: Ooh, baby, you are so talented!
[looks into the camera]
Bart: And they are so *dumb*!
Hedley Lamarr: My mind is aglow with whirling, transient nodes of thought careening through a cosmic vapor of invention.
Taggart: Ditto.
Hedley Lamarr: "Ditto?" "Ditto," you provincial putz?
Taggart: I'm sorry, sir.
Hedley Lamarr: Plan, plan. I need a plan.
Taggart: I got it! I know how we can run everyone out of Rock Ridge.
Hedley Lamarr: How?
Taggart: We'll kill the first born male child in every household.
Hedley Lamarr: [after some consideration] Too Jewish.
[recalling his gunfighting career]
Jim: I must have killed more men than Cecil B. DeMille.
[Jim downs a bottle of whiskey in one long guzzle]
Bart: [33:33] A man drink like that and he don't eat, he is going to DIE.
Jim: [eagerly] When?
Rev. Johnson: Now I don't have to tell you good folks what's been happening in our beloved little town. Sheriff murdered, crops burned, stores looted, people stampeded, and cattle raped. The time has come to act, and act fast. I'm leaving.
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.
[Gabby Johnson sees the sheriff riding into town]
Gabby Johnson: Hey! The sheriff's a nig...
[clock bell chimes]
Harriet Johnson: What did he say?
Dr. Sam Johnson: He said the sheriff's near.
Gabby Johnson: No, gone blame it dang blammit! The sheriff is a nig...
[clock bell chimes again]
Lili Von Shtupp: Tell me, schatze, is it twue what they say about the way you people are... gifted?
[sound of zipper opening]
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh, it's twue. It's twue. It's twue, it's twue!
[Taggart spots Bart and Charlie on a hand-cart sinking into quicksand]
Taggart: Oh, shit. Quicksand!
[lassos the hand-cart and drags it but not the men out of the quicksand]
Taggart: Dang, that was lucky. Doggone near lost a four hundred dollar handcar.
[Harriet Johnson reads her letter to the Governor]
Harriet Johnson: [31:10] To the honorable William J. Le Petomane, Governor...
Townspeople: Louder! We can't hear you!
Harriet Johnson: I'm not used to public speaking.
[clears her throat]
Harriet Johnson: WE
[everyone jumps in shock]
Harriet Johnson: THE WHITE, GODFEARING CITIZENS OF ROCK RIDGE wish to express our extreme displeasure with your choice of sheriff. Please remove him immediately! The fact that you have sent him here just goes to prove that you are the leading asshole in the state!
Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, cowboy. What's your name?
Tex: Tex, ma'am!
Lili Von Shtupp: "Texmam"? Tell me, Texmam, are you in show business?
Tex: Well, no...
Lili Von Shtupp: Then why don't you get your fwiggin' feet off the stage?
Governor Lepetomane: [pointing to a member of his cabinet] I didn't get a "harrumph" out of that guy!
Hedley Lamarr: Give the Governor harrumph!
Politician: Harrumph!
Governor Lepetomane: You watch your ass.
Hedley Lamarr: Gentlemen, please rest your sphincters.
Governor Lepetomane: Well, put.
Buddy Bizarre: What in the hell do you think you're doing here? This is a closed set!
Taggart: Piss on you! I'm working for Mel Brooks!
[winds up to punch Buddy]
Buddy Bizarre: Not in the face!
[Taggart punches Buddy in the stomach]
Buddy Bizarre: [collapsing] Thank you...
Governor Lepetomane: Thank you, Hedy, thank you
Hedley Lamarr: It's not *Hedy*, it's *Hedley*. Hedley Lamarr.
Governor Lepetomane: What the hell are you worried about? This is 1874. You'll be able to sue *her*.
Governor Lepetomane: Help me in with this. Help me in with this.
[having trouble putting his pen back into its holder]
Hedley Lamarr: Just think of your secretary.
[the pen goes straight in]
Governor Lepetomane: There you go. That's a very good suggestion. Thank you.
Jim: Look at my hand.
[raises hand and holds it level]
Bart: Steady as a rock.
Jim: [raises his other hand, which is violently trembling] Yeah, but I shoot with this one.
Hedley Lamarr: If you will just sign this, Governor. Right here.
Governor Lepetomane: Yes, yes. What the hell is it?
Hedley Lamarr: Well, under the provisions of this bill, we would snatch two hundred thousand acres of Indian land, which we have deemed unsuitable for their use at this time. They're such children.
Governor Lepetomane: Two hundred thousand acres? Two hundred thousand acres? What'll it cost, man, what'll it cost?
Hedley Lamarr: [brings out a carton of paddleballs] A box of these.
Governor Lepetomane: Are you crazy? They'll never go for it. And then again they might. Those little red devils... they love toys!
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] A sheriff! But law and order is the last thing I want. Wait a minute... maybe I could turn this thing into my advantage. If I could find a sheriff who so offends the citizens of Rock Ridge that his very appearance would drive them out of town.
[looks into the camera]
Hedley Lamarr: But where would I find such a man?
[pause]
Hedley Lamarr: Why am I asking you?
Hedley Lamarr: Repeat after me: I...
Men: I...
Hedley Lamarr: ...your name...
Men: ...your name...
Hedley Lamarr: [to himself] Shmucks.
[continues aloud]
Hedley Lamarr: ...pledge allegiance...
Men: ...pledge allegiance...
Hedley Lamarr: ...to Hedley Lamarr...
Men: ...to Hedy Lamarr...
Hedley Lamarr: That's *Hedley*!
Men: That's Hedley!
Hedley Lamarr: ...and to the evil...
Men: ...and to the evil...
Hedley Lamarr: ...for which he stands.
Men: ...for which he stands.
Hedley Lamarr: Now go do... that voodoo... that *you* do... *so well*...!
[men shoot at the sky in joy and ride off]
Bart: Mongo was easy. The bitch was inventing the candy-gram. Probably won't even give me credit for it.
[a knock at the window; Bart gets up and sees the same woman who insulted him earlier]
Elderly Woman: Good evening, Sheriff. Sorry about the "Up yours, nigger". I hope this apple pie will in some small way say thank you for your ingenuity and courage in defeating that horrible Mongo.
Bart: Well, uh... thank you, much obliged. Good night.
[Bart closes the window and smells the pie... but returns to the window when he hears another knock]
Elderly Woman: Of course, you'll have the good taste not to mention that I spoke to you.
Bart: Of course.
Elderly Woman: Thank you.
Bart: I'm rapidly becoming a big underground success in this town.
Jim: See? In another twenty-five years, you'll be able to shake their hands in broad daylight.
Mongo: Mongo no go. Mongo stay with Sheriff Bart. Sheriff Bart first man ever whip Mongo. Mongo impressed. Have deep feelings for Sheriff Bart.
[while Mongo is beating the hell out of a bar full of toughs, Bart walks in, dressed as a messenger boy and carrying a box]
Bart: Candygram for Mongo! Candygram for Mongo!
Mongo: Me Mongo.
Bart: Sign, please.
[Mongo grabs the paper and makes some rough scratches on it]
Bart: Thank you.
[he gives Mongo the box and walks out of the bar, putting his fingers in his ears]
Mongo: Mongo like candy.
[he opens the box - boom!]
Lili Von Shtupp: Hello, handsome, is that a ten-gallon hat or are you just enjoying the show?
Taggart: [5:18] Listen, dummy. The surveyors say they may have run into some quicksand up ahead. Better check it out.
Lyle: Okay, I'll send down a team of horses to check out the ground.
Taggart: *Horses*?
[hits Lyle's head]
Taggart: We can't afford to lose any horses, you dummy! Send over a couple of niggers.
Howard Johnson: [reading] As chairman of the welcoming committee, it is my privilege to extend a Laurel - and Hardy handshake to our new...
[looks up and sees Bart]
Howard Johnson: ...nigger.
Olson Johnson: All right... we'll give some land to the niggers and the chinks. But we don't want the Irish!
[everyone complains]
Olson Johnson: Aw, prairie shit... Everybody!
[everyone rejoices]
Olson Johnson: [after Gabby Johnson's speech] Now who can argue with that? I think we're all indebted to Gabby Johnson for clearly stating what needed to be said. I'm particulary glad that these lovely children were here today to hear that speech. Not only was it authentic frontier gibberish, it expressed a courage little seen in this day and age.
[townspeople murmur and nod in approval]
Olson Johnson: What are we made of? Our fathers came across the prairies, fought Indians, fought drought, fought locusts, fought Dix... remember when Richard Dix came in here and tried to take over this town? Well, we didn't give up then, and by gum, we're not going to give up now!
Taggart: I got it! I got it!
Hedley Lamarr: You do?
Taggart: We'll work up a Number 6 on 'em.
Hedley Lamarr: [frowns] "Number 6"? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that one.
Taggart: Well, that's where we go a-ridin' into town, a-whompin' and a-whumpin' every livin' thing that moves within an inch of its life. Except the women folks, of course.
Hedley Lamarr: You spare the women?
Taggart: Naw, we rape the shit out of them at the Number Six Dance later on.
Hedley Lamarr: Marvelous!
Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] I've been with thousands of men/again and again/they promise the moon/they're always coming and going and going and coming... and always too soon.
Lili Von Shtupp: [spoken] Right, girls?
Gabby Johnson: I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin' bushwackin', hornswagglin' cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.
Buddy's Singers: [singing] Throw up your hands/Stick out your tush/Hands on your hips/Give 'em a push/You'll be surprised, you're doing the French Mistake/Voila!
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Gum Chewer: [chewing gum] Arson... armed robbery... mayhem...
Hedley Lamarr: Wait a moment. What have you got in your mouth?
Gum Chewer: [stops chewing] Nuff'm.
Hedley Lamarr: "Nuff'm", eh? Lyle!
Lyle: [searches the man's mouth] Gum!
Hedley Lamarr: Chewing gum on line, eh? I hope you brought enough for everybody.
Gum Chewer: [panicked] I didn't know there was going to be so many!
[Hedley shoots the gum chewer]
Jim: [hidden behind a rock] Boy, is he strict!
Hedley Lamarr: Gentlemen, please rest your sphincters.
Jim: [to Bart] What's a dazzling urbanite like you doing in a rustic setting like this?
Elderly Woman: [looks to camera as she is beaten by two thugs] Have you ever seen such cruelty?
Rev. Johnson: Order, order. Goddamnit, I said "order".
Howard Johnson: [smugly] Y'know, Nietzsche says: "Out of chaos comes order."
Olson Johnson: Oh, blow it out your ass, Howard.
Man in Commissary Playing Hitler: They lose me right after the bunker scene.
Taggart: Now what the hell do you think you're doin' with that tin star, boy?
Bart: Watch that "boy" shit, redneck. You talkin' to the sheriff of Rock Ridge.
Taggart: Well, now if that don't beat all. Here we take the good time and trouble to slaughter every last Indian in the West, and for what? So they can appoint a sheriff that's blacker'n any Indian! I am depressed.
Lyle: Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that nigger dead? Would that pep you up some?
Taggart: That might help.
Lyle: All right, boys! On the count of three!
Jim: I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Lyle: Don't pay no attention to that alkie. He can't even hold a gun, much less shoot it.
[Jim blows on his fingertips]
Lyle: Like I said, on the count of three. One... two... three!
[Jim draws. The cowboys' guns are suddenly shot of their hands in quick succession. Cut back to Jim, his arms folded, smoke pouring from his holsters]
Bart: Well, don't just sit there lookin' stupid, graspin' your hands in pain. How 'bout a little...
[he draws his own gun]
Bart: ... applause for the Waco Kid?
[dumbfounded, Taggart and his men start clapping]
Lyle: [railroad workers are singing "I Get A Kick Out of You"] Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! What the hell is that shit? I meant a song. A real song. something like
[singing]
Lyle: Swing Low/ Sweet Chaaaariooooot
[workers look confused]
Lyle: Don't know that one, huh?
Buddy Bizarre: [yells into the ear of an actor] *Wrong!*
[hits the actor in the head]
Buddy Bizarre: Watch me! It's so simple! Give me the playback! Watch me, faggots!
Bart: [watching Mongo's rampage] I don't know what it is.
[Van Johnson bursts into the office]
Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He's...
[realizes Bart is on the opposite side of the room, and turns around]
Van Johnson: Sheriff! Mongo's back! He's breaking up the whole town! You've got to help us, please!
Bart: Did you hear that? Now it's "please". This morning, I couldn't get the time of day. Who is this Mongo, anyway?
Jim: Well, Mongo ain't exactly a "who". He's more of a "what".
Van Johnson: What he said.
Bart: Well, now, I don't know...
Van Johnson: Oh, thank you, Sheriff! Oh, thank you very much! Thank you!
[runs to the door and flings it open]
Van Johnson: [shouting] The fool's going to... I mean, the sheriff's going to do it!
[last lines]
Jim: [who still has his popcorn and soda from the Chinese Theater] Where you headed, cowboy?
Bart: Nowhere special.
Jim: Nowhere special? I always wanted to go there.
Bart: Come on.
[Jim mounts up and they ride off into the sunset... in a limousine!]
Taggart: [shouting] We'll head them off at the pass!
Hedley Lamarr: Head them off at the pass? I hate that cliché!
[shoots his foot]
Buddy Bizarre: [stomps in time to music on each word] Watch me, faggots!
Dancer: They hit Buddy! Come on, girls!
Charlie: [as their handcart begins to sink] Bart?
Bart: Yeah?
Charlie: Am I wrong? Or is the world... rising?
Bart: I don't know. But whatever it is, I hate it.
[men slowly sink down offscreen]
Bart: Hey, Charlie? Let me ask you something: what is it that's not exactly water and it ain't exactly earth?
Hedley Lamarr: Wait a minute... there might be legal precedent. Of course! Land-snatching!
[grabs a law book]
Hedley Lamarr: Land, land... "Land: see Snatch."
[flips back several pages]
Hedley Lamarr: Ah, Haley vs. United States. Haley: 7, United States: nothing. You see, it can be done!
Governor Lepetomane: What the hell is this?
Hedley Lamarr: This is the bill that will convert the state hospital for the insane into the William J. Le Petomane memorial gambling casino for the insane.
Governor Lepetomane: [standing up proudly] Gentlemen, this bill will be a giant step forward in the treatment of the insane gambler.
Bart: Just give me twenty-four hours to come up with a brilliant idea to save our town. Just twenty-four hours, that's all I ask.
Townspeople: [in unison] No!
Bart: You'd do it for Randolph Scott.
Townspeople: [reverently] Randolph Scott...
Townspeople: [singing in the fashion of a church choir] *Randolph Scott!*
Howard Johnson: All right, Sheriff. Twenty-four hours.
Church Congregation: [singing] Now is a time of great decision / Are we to stay or up and quit? / There's no avoiding this conclusion / Our town is turning into shit.
Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Here I stand, the goddess of desire / Set men on fire / I have this power. / Morning, noon, and night, it's dwink and dancing / Some quick womancing / And then a shower. / Stage door Johnnies constantly suwwound me / They always hound me, with one wequest. / Who can satisfy their lustful habits? / I'm not a wabbit. / I need some we...
[Takes a breath]
Lili Von Shtupp: ... est.
Reverend Johnson: We will now read from Matthew, Mark, Luke...
[stick of dynamite sails in through window]
Reverend Johnson: ... and DUCK.
[repeated line]
Lili Von Shtupp: Willkommen. Bienvenue. Welcome. C'mon in.
Lyle: Now, come on, boys! Where's your spirit? I don't hear no singin'. When you was slaves, you sang like birds. Go on, how 'bout a good ol' nigger work song?
Bart: [singing] I get no kick from champagne, Mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all, So, tell me why should it be true, That I get a belt out of you...
Townsman: [being dragged through the street] Well, that's the end of this suit.
Hedley Lamarr: As per your instructions, I'd like you to meet the new sheriff of Rock Ridge.
Governor Lepetomane: I'd be delighted.
[extends his hand, then yanks it away on seeing Bart]
Governor Lepetomane: Wow!
[whistles, then drops his voice]
Governor Lepetomane: I gotta talk to you. Come here.
[grabs Bart and pulls him aside]
Governor Lepetomane: Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that man is a ni...
[turns and sees Bart]
Governor Lepetomane: Ha ha... wrong person. Forgive me. No offense intended.
[walks Bart back, then pulls Hedley aside]
Governor Lepetomane: Have you gone berserk? Can't you see that man is a ni?
Bart: Well, can't you see that's the last act of a desperate man?
Howard Johnson: We don't care if it's the first act of "Henry V," we're leaving!
Hedley Lamarr: [to Lili Von Stupp] Shut up, you Teutonic twat!
Hedley Lamarr: [at the theater, cuts in front of a hippie] You dropped your beads.
Hedley Lamarr: [to the cashier] One, please. Uhh... student?
Theater Cashier: Are you kidding?
Hedley Lamarr: [grumbling as he takes his ticket] Pain in the ass!
[as the townspeople point guns at Bart, the newly arrived sheriff]
Rev. Johnson: Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let us not allow anger to rule the day.
[holds up his Bible]
Rev. Johnson: As your spiritual leader, I implore you -- Pay heed to this good book, and what it has to say!
[townspeople shoot the Bible, blowing it apart]
Rev. Johnson: [to Bart] Son, you're on your own.
Rev. Johnson: [praying] O Lord, do we have the strength to carry off this mighty task in one night? Or are we just jerking off?
Townspeople: Amen.
Hedley Lamarr: Unfortunately there is one thing standing between me and that property: the rightful owners.
[Bart is bidding farewell to the people of Rock Ridge]
Bart: Work here is done. I'm needed elsewhere now. I'm needed wherever outlaws rule the West, wherever innocent women and children are afraid to walk the streets, wherever a man cannot live in simple dignity, wherever a people cry out for justice.
Crowd: [in unison] *Bullshit!*
Bart: All right, you caught me. To speak the plain truth, it's getting pretty damn dull around here.
Scared Mexican Man: Mongo! Santa Maria!
Buddy Bizarre: [after the rehersal] Everybody got that?
[the actors answer with a heavily lisping "yethhhh"]
Buddy Bizarre: Sounds like steam escaping.
Hedley Lamarr: [hurrying through the movie theater, he stops at the concession stand] Raisinets!
Hedley Lamarr: [dying words, while looking down at Douglas Fairbanks' panel in the Grauman Chinese Theater forecourt] How did he do such fantastic stunts with such little feet?
Bart: Maybe you know why a high-roller like Hedley Lamarr is interested in Rock Ridge.
Mongo: Don't know. Got to do with where choo-choo go.
Bart: Mongo, why would Hedley Lamarr care about where the choo-choo goes?
Mongo: Don't know. Mongo only pawn in game of life.
Hedley Lamarr: [gives her a bunch of flowers] For you, my dear.
Lili Von Shtupp: Oh... how ordinawy.
[throws away flowers]
Bart: Well, raise my rent. You *are* The Kid.
[Hedley arrives at Grauman's Chinese Theater]
Tourist Mother: [to her husband] Look, Irv. I'm in Hedy Lamarr's shoes.
Hedley Lamarr: [correcting her as he runs past them] HEDLEY.
Bart: Checkmate.
Jim: What?
Bart: Checkmate.
Jim: Why, you devious son of a bitch.
[picking up his whiskey bottle]
Jim: Happy days.
Hedley Lamarr: Alright, I'm through being Mr. Goodbar, the time has come to act and act quickly.
Olson Johnson: [in the bar discussing Pasteur's possible cure] Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo!
Bart: [Bart dresses himself as a carnival barker and stands beside a wishing-well] ... Step right up, ladies and gentlemen and... Mongos! Dive, dive, dive for buried treasure! This is the exact spot where the Spanish Armada was sunk by the British Navy, leaving millions and millions of Spanish Dubloons at the bottom of the sea!
[Remember, they're in the middle of the desert, on America's Western Frontier!]
Mongo: Spanish balloons? Mongo take chance...!
[and, after suiting up]
Mongo: ... How Mongo get air?
Bart: From this wonderful antique pump. Good hunting!
[and, once Mongo climbs to the bottom of the well]
Bart: ... Time for my lunch break.
[He lowers a sign to Mongo which reads "For more air, deposit $.25"]
[after meeting black pioneers]
Indian Chief: [speaks Yiddish, then German, then in English] They darker than us! Woof!
Lyle: [after the farting] How 'bout some more beans, Mr. Taggart?
Taggart: [fans his hat in the air] I'd say you've had enough!
Lili Von Shtupp: A wed wose. How womantic.
[first lines]
Lyle: Come on, boys! The way you're lollygaggin' around here with them picks and them shovels, you'd think it was a hundert an' twenty degree. Can't be more than a hundert an' fourteen.
Reporter: Sir, those are dummies.
Governor Lepetomane: How do you think I got elected?
Hedley Lamarr: [speaking to Boris out the window] Well, do your best.
[hits his head on the window sill]
Hedley Lamarr: Ahh!
Hedley Lamarr: Lili. Lili, Lili, Lili, legs, Lili, Lili... I cannot finds the words to truly express my joy at the rekindling of our association.
Lili Von Shtupp: Bullshit. What's the job?
Hedley Lamarr: I love it when you talk dirty.
Townspeople: The town saloon was always lively / But never nasty or obscene / Behind the bar stood Anal Johnson / He always kept things nice and clean
[Anal Johnson is standing behind the bar washing a beer mug; he spits into the mug, belches, and continues to wipe the mug]
Hedley Lamarr: [sitting in a bubble bath] Where's my froggy? Where's my froggy!
Taggart: I don't know. I didn't see him wanna come in.
Hedley Lamarr: Well, look, damn your eyes! Look for it.
[Taggart plunges his hand in Hedley's bubble bath]
Hedley Lamarr: Taggart.
Taggart: Sorry sir.
Lili Von Shtupp: Vhy don't you admit it? He's too much of man for you. I know. You're going to need an army to beat him! You're finished. Fertig! Verfallen! Verlumpt! Verblunget! Verkackt!
Governor Lepetomane: Holy underwear! Sheriff murdered! Innocent women and children blown to bits! We have to protect our phoney baloney jobs here, gentlemen! We must do something about this immediately! Immediately! Immediately! Harrumph! Harrumph! Harrumph!
Hedley Lamarr: Yes, of course. It'll work.
Taggart: What'll work?
Hedley Lamarr: Elementary, cactus head.
Jim: I'd better sit up.
[struggles to straighten himself]
Bart: Need any help?
Jim: Oh... all I can get.
Buddy Bizarre: Action! Oh, wait till I get out! Wait till I get out!
Lili Von Shtupp: Why don't you... loosen your bullets?
Lili Von Shtupp: Let's face it. Evewything below the waist... is kaput!
[Jim the Waco Kid has just shot the guns out of the hands of a dozen henchmen]
Bart: Well, don't just stand there looking stupid, grasping your hands in pain. How about a round of applause for The Waco Kid?
Jim: [Bart comes in after spending the night with Lili Von Stupp] Oh deary dear. Look what the cat dragged in.
[after Taggart comes crashing through the commissary with food splattered all over him]
Cashier: Yankee bean soup, coleslaw, and tuna surprise.
[rings up register]
Boris: Oh... Not to worry. All are equal in my eye.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": [singing] He rode a blazing saddle. / He wore a shining star. / His job to offer battle / To bad men near and far.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fear and he conquered hate. / He turned our night into day. / He made his blazing saddle / A torch to light the way.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": When outlaws ruled the West / And fear filled the land / A cry went up for a man with guts / To take the West in hand.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": They needed a man who was brave and true / With justice for all as his aim. / Then out of the sun rode a man with a gun / And Bart was his name, yes Bart was his name.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He rode a blazing saddle. / He wore a shining star. / His job to offer battle / To bad men near and far.
Singer: "Blazing Saddles": He conquered fear and he conquered hate. / He turned our night into day. / He made his blazing saddle / A torch to light the way.
Bart: [Mongo walks down the street past a mannequin-like, penny-arcade-style "gunslinger" - Bart's voice is distorted and seems to be coming from the penny-arcade machine] I'm the marshal in this here town, and you're nothin' but a big fat ferret.
[Mongo starts to pull his gun on the offending "marshal"]
Bart: Hold it! If you wanna draw on me, put a quarter in the machine.
[Mongo deposits a quarter in the appropriate slot]
Bart: Ready? Now draw on the count of three. One, two...
[Mongo is about to draw when the "marshal" falls away to reveal a cannon, which blasts Mongo in the face - we can now see that Bart has been throwing his voice with a bullhorn]
Bart: ... Three.
Bart: Now, I suppose you're all wondering just what in the heck you're doing out here in the middle of a prairie in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night.
Crowd: You bet your ass!
Bart: I'm hip.
[Headley opens his office window to speak to the hunchbacked hangman Boris outside]
Hedley Lamarr: Boris! We can't hear ourselves think!
Boris: Sorry, your Worship, but I've got two men home sick with the flu... and it's utter chaos down here. I'll try to keep it as quiet as possible.
[Boris gestures to a man in a wheelchair]
Boris: But as you can see... this one is a doozey.
Hedley Lamarr: Yes, the Doctor Gillespie killings.
Taggart: Don't you worry. Why we'll make Rock Ridge think its a chicken that got caught in a tractor's nuts.
Hedley Lamarr: Splendid!
Governor Lepetomane: Work, work, work, Work, work, work. Work, work, work.
[turns, leans in and stares into Miss Stein's bountiful bosoms]
Governor Lepetomane: Hello, boys. Have a good night's rest? I missed you!
Governor Lepetomane: Read it! Read it! You wild bitch.
Taggart: [to Bart and Charlie struggling to get out of the quicksand] Well, boys, the break's over. Don't just lay there gettin' a suntan. It ain't gonna do you no good no how.
Miss Stein: Bill, are you coming back?
Governor Lepetomane: In a moment dear.
[to Hedley and Bart]
Governor Lepetomane: Ah, gentlemen, gentlemen, affairs of state must take precedent over the affairs of state.
Hedley Lamarr: Governor!
Governor Lepetomane: Yes?
Hedley Lamarr: Official business, sir.
Governor Lepetomane: Is it important?
Taggart: I understand there's a new sheriff in town. Who wants to kill him?
Bart: Well, once I establish myself in this here town, Deputy Spade might turn out to be a groovy position.
Hedley Lamarr: What a minute, that's it! Of course. And it'll work!
Taggart: You bet it will. What'll work?
Hedley Lamarr: Elementary, Cactus-head. The beast has failed. And when the beast fails, it's time to call in: beauty.
Taggart: Beauty?
Hedley Lamarr: Yes, of course. She's never failed me before. She'll turn him into jelly! She'll bring him to his knees.
Hedley Lamarr: Taxi! Drive me off this picture.
Hedley Lamarr: How's it going?
Lili Von Shtupp: It's like wet sauerkraut in my hands. By morning, he will be my slave.
Hedley Lamarr: Splendid!
Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] Who can satisfy their lustful habits? I'm not a rabbit! I need some rest. I'm tired, Sick and tired of love, I've had my fill of love, From below and above. Tired, Tired of being admired, Tired of love uninspired, Let's face it, I'm tired!
Lili Von Shtupp: [singing] I've been with thousands of men, Again and again, They sing the same tune, They start with Byron and Shelley, Then jump on your belly, And bust your balloons!
Jim: Well, what do you wanna do now?
Bart: Come on, let's check out the end of the flick.
Jim: Yeah. Gee, I sure hope there's a happy ending. I love a happy ending!
Hedley Lamarr: Taggart, you've been hurt.
Taggart: Oh, that uppity n***** went and hit me on the head with a shovel! I'd shore appreciate it, sir, if you could find it in your heart to hang him up by his neck until he was dead. Got him locked up downstairs.
Hedley Lamarr: Consider it done.
Buddy Bizarre: [a fight scene has spilled over into Buddy's musical number] CUT! What the hell are you all doing here? This is a CLOSED SET!
Taggart: Piss on you, I work for Mel Brooks!
[Get ready to hit Buddy]
Buddy Bizarre: Not in the face!
[Taggart hits him in the stomach]
Buddy Bizarre: Thank you!
Buddy Bizarre: [1:23:42] Wrong!
Gabby Johnson: Reverend!
Howard Johnson: Think of it, gentlemen. Hoof and mouth disease a thing of the past.
Olson Johnson: Never mind that shit! Here comes Mongo!