Podcast 50: Snatch (2000)

February 24, 2022 Jon S Movies, Podcasting 01:17:3273MB 0 Comments
Snatch

The 3 Guys Podcast

Recorded on 2/17/2022

Stealing stones is hazardous.  In this episode we review the Guy Ritchie directed movie, Snatch (released 2000) starring Benicio del Toro, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Rade Šerbedžija, Jason Statham and Stephen Graham.  WARNING: There will be SPOILERS!

The 3 Guys Rating

4.5/5
Snatch 4K

Interested in checking out the 4K Movie? Click on the link below.

Snatch (4K Special Edition)

Notes From The Show

  • Quick Synopsis

  • Released: August 23, 2000 (UK), January 19, 2001 (US)

    Directed By:  Guy Ritchie

    Screenplay By:  Guy Ritchie

    Stars:    Benicio del Toro, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Rade Šerbedžija, Jason Statham, Stephen Graham

    Plot:      Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond.

    How did this movie do
    Budget: $10 Million
    Box office: $84 Million

  • Casting

    • The role of Brick Top was originally offered to Sean Connery. Connery liked the script and was curious to see Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), so producer Matthew Vaughn hastily arranged a screening for him at extreme short notice. Connery duly turned up and watched the film, before emerging with his judgment: “That is a good film”, he said, “and (in a stage whisper) you’re not going to be able to afford me.” Cue Alan Ford.
    • Brad Pitt contacted Guy Ritchie to see if the director had any part for him in his new movie, Ritchie responded “yes”, but after the phone conversation was over, Ritchie realized that he offered Pitt a part in Snatch that did not exist. He rewrote the movie with a part for Pitt: Mickey O’Neil.
      • Brad Pitt, who was a big fan of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), approached director Guy Ritchie and asked for a role in this film. When Ritchie found Pitt couldn’t master a London accent, he gave him the role of Mickey the Gypsy.
      • When Guy Ritchie told Brad Pitt that he would be playing a boxer, Pitt became concerned because he had just finished shooting Fight Club (1999) and did not want to play the same type of role again. Pitt took the role anyway because he wanted to work with Ritchie so badly.

  • Slang Translation

    • bent – crooked, illegal.
    • bet your bollocks to a barn dance – similar to ‘bet your life’ or ‘bet your arse’.
    • black stuff – the Irish stout Guinness.
    • bollocks – A very common swear word in the UK. It can be traced back to the 11th century and means testicles.
    • clocked – to see / be seen. e.g. “Shite, we’ve been clocked!”.
    • disco biscuits – ecstacy (the drug).
    • drip dry ’em – could be either similar to the phrase “leaving someone out to dry” or may be a reference to cutting the throat of a victim and draining the blood (like with cattle).
    • grainers – possibly a reference to bullets, probably shot-gun pellets.
    • grasses – Informers.
    • Jacob’s – Rhyming Slang for ‘Jacob’s Cream Crackers’ – ‘knackers’ which is slang for ‘testicles’.
    • k – a thousand pounds.
    • large – a thousand pounds. e.g. “Ten large to help the situation”.
    • melees – close combat, weapons such as knives etc.
    • Mickey Mouse – fake.
    • minerals – testicles. This comes from the Rhyming Slang term ‘Family Jewels’ (pron. “jawls”) = ‘balls’.
    • moody – stolen.
    • mucker – friend / mate.
    • mustard – good.
    • pikey – a gypsy or vagrant. This term comes from the ‘Kentish’ dialect word ‘pike’ meaning ‘toll-gate’.
    • porky pies – lies.
    • shite – northern dialect version of ‘shit’.
    • schtrops – (yiddish) useless, not worth the time.
    • spurious – not real, dodgy.
    • taking the piss – extreemly common term for ‘making fun of’.
    • tip-top – great condition. Archaic upper class term.
    • tucked up – conned, tricked.
    • wanker – idiot, dispicable person. Literally means to masturbate.
    • who took the jam out of your doughnut ? – who spoiled your fun ?
    • Yardie – Jamaican gangster.

    Check out where we found this helpful guide:  http://www.londonslang.com/db/film_slang/ 

  • Trivia

    • The F-word was used a 163 times over the course of the movie’s 102-minute runtime. That equals roughly 1.6 F-bombs per minute.

    • Pikey, as of 1989, is common prison slang for Romani People or those who have a similar lifestyle of itinerant unemployment and travel. More recently, pikey was applied to Irish Travellers (other slurs include tinkers and knackers) and non-Romanichal travellers. In the late 20th century, it came to be used to describe “a lower-class person, regarded as coarse or disreputable. Pikey’s most common contemporary use is as a catch-all phrase to refer to people, of any ethnic group, who travel around with no fixed abode. It is sometimes used to refer to a wide section of the (generally urban) underclass of the country (in England generally known as chavs), or merely a person of any social class who “lives on the cheap” such as a bohemian.

    • Brad Pitt’s character and indecipherable speech was inspired by many critics’ complaints about the accents of the characters in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998). Guy Ritchie decided to counter the criticisms by creating a character that not only couldn’t be understood by the audience but that also couldn’t be understood by characters in the movie.

    • Every mistake that Sol, Vincent and Tyrone make were inspired by various late-night TV shows about real-life crimes gone horribly wrong.

    • When Vinny and Sol are sitting outside Brick-Top’s Bookies, about to give him the diamond, the man that approaches the car is not really Bullet-Tooth Tony, it was a look-alike. Vinnie Jones didn’t show up for shooting that day because he was in jail for fighting the night before.

    • According to the DVD commentary, Bow (Staffordshire Bull Terrier), the dog was very difficult to work with. During the car scene with Vincent, Sol and Tyrone, the dog was actually attacking Lennie James, and James was actually bitten in the crotch by the dog but didn’t suffer any serious injury. The dog was replaced after that incident.

    • The producers couldn’t afford enough extras for the boxing match sequences. Whenever a camera angle changed, the extras had to move around to create an impression of a crowded house.

    • Lennie James actually hit himself in his private parts with the shotgun while blasting a hole in the wall at the bookies, but continued the scene. That footage was used in the film.

    • Nearly every death in the movie takes place off-screen.

    • To keep things in order during production, director Guy Ritchie introduced a system of fines on set. There were fines for mobile phones ringing, arriving late, taking naps during shooting, being “cheeky”, being unfunny, and/or moaning and complaining. One staff member was even charged for letting the craft service table run out of coffee cups.

    • As he was playing a particularly scummy character, Brad Pitt made a point of rarely washing during the film’s production.

    • On the DVD commentary, Guy Ritchie mentions meeting a Brazilian man who told him that the most hated people in his country are animal abusers (particularly dogs). Ritchie was inspired to add a scene of Brick Top prodding a dog to provoke to fight, highlighting what a monstrous individual he is.

    • In Guy Ritchie’s previous film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), there is a scene in which Harry, Barry and Chris have a conversation. Barry says the line. “No, Harry, you can’t,” which is shortly repeated by Chris, then by both together. This joke is carried over to this movie when Alex and Susi do the same thing with the line, “Yeah, Dad, you told us.”

    • Jason Flemyng joked that the working conditions on this film were so terrible that Brad Pitt’s trailer was picketed by Amnesty International as not being fit for someone to live in.

    • Brad Pitt was initially thrown by the British cast and crew’s predilection for using the word “cunt” with such abandon. He soon wore down his resistance and joined in.

    • When Vinnie Jones is introduced in the movie, he is slamming a man’s head in a car door. It was the head of stunt co-coordinator and action director Tom Delmar, who volunteered for the job.

    • During the opening credits, the Hasidic-clad diamond thieves are discussing the Virgin Mary. This is a reference to Reservoir Dogs (1992), where during the opening scene the thieves are discussing the Madonna song “Like a Virgin”.

    • Brick Top is seen to be involved in dog fighting, at one point torturing a dog. In real life, Alan Ford is a vegetarian and animal rights activist.

    • Guy Ritchie reportedly paid US $1 million for the use of Madonna’s song, “Lucky Star”. At the time he made this movie, Ritchie was dating Madonna, and was married to her from late 2000 to 2008. Ritchie would direct Madonna in Swept Away (2002), and would direct her controversial music video for the song, “What It Feels Like For A Girl.”

    • Franky Four-Fingers (Benicio Del Toro) changes into four different outfits during the short telephone conversation to cousin Avi.

    • Tim Maurice-Jones, the cinematographer, plays the man who is repeatedly battered over the head at the beginning of the movie by Frankie Four-Fingers (Benicio Del Toro). In Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), for which he was also the cinematographer, he was the man being drowned at the beginning of the film by Barry the Baptist (Lenny McLean).

    • Brad Pitt said that he based his accent off a guest character, Fred Rickwood, on the Irish TV show Father Ted (1995) who appeared in the episode Father Ted: A Song for Europe (1996).

    • The U.S. distributors considered changing the title to “Snatched” or “Snatch’d”.

    • When Bullettooth Tony and Avi are driving with Mullet’s head stuck in the car window, Tony turns on the radio. Madonna’s “Lucky Star” is playing, and Tony says “Oh, I love this track!” It’s actually the same track that’s playing when Tony is shot six times in a row, in the flashback scene a few minutes ago.

    • Vinnie Jones character goes after a dog with a knife to cut him open after swallowing a diamond. In Gone in 60 Seconds (2000), his character is stopped from cutting open a dog who has swallowed some car keys.

    • Boris the Blade pulls a large cleaver from his belt. Soap did the same thing in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), another Guy Ritchie movie.

    • One of the boxers is called Bomber Harris. “Bomber Harris” was the nickname of Arthur Harris, chief of RAF Bomber Command in World War II. The name later appeared in a German Monty Python special (Monty Python’s Fliegender Zirkus (1972)) as the name of a man who wrestles himself – Colin “Bomber” Harris.

    • Actor, Vinnie Jones, shows a ceratin signature fighting move that he displays in director, Guy Ritchie’s movies. In “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels”, one of his last scenes in the movie with his character, ‘Big Chris’, he is continuously slamming the character, ‘Dog’s’ head in a car door. When Vinnie’s character, ‘Tony’ in “Snatch” is first introduced, he is, again, slamming a poor victim’s head in a car door.

    • The word bricktop is a British slang for someone with red hair. It can be assumed Bricktop had ginger hair in his youth.

    • Throughout the movie, Turkish makes comments to Tommy about his getting a gun for protection from “Ze Germans”. Stephen Graham also played Sgt. Myron ‘Mike’ Ranney in the series Band of Brothers (2001), although the film was released a year prior to the series.

    • The hardcore band “Cold War from Orange County, California” quotes this movie several times throughout their CD “From Russia With Love.” Some of the lines quoted are: (“Quote” – Character / Song in which quote is used) “From Russia with love, ah?” – Doug The Head / Love Betrays “Heavy’s good, heavy’s reliable.” – Boris the Blade / Painful Delight “Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible c*nt… me.” – Brick Top / Retrace My Steps

    • The role of Brick Top Polford was originally offered to Dave Courtney.

    • In his very first shot on screen, it’s heavily implied that Brad Pitt is defecating on the ground between a car and a caravan.

    • Snatch includes two leading guest stars for the BBC series, Line of Duty. Lennie James (Sol) plays Tony Gates and Stephen Graham (Tommy) plays John Corbett though the two do not star in the same season nor do they share any scenes.

    • Bullet Tooth Tony picks up Mullet, the informant, in front of a shop called “Guys & Dolls,” a reference to writer Damon Runyon whom director Guy Ritchie has cited as one of the major influences for his gangster films.

    • Guy Ritchie: In the back of the bar when we are first introduced to Doug The Head. Ritchie is the man reading the newspaper.

    • The film’s title only appears once throughout the entire movie, where Vinny (Robbie Gee) tells the dog, “Don’t Snatch!” as it takes the squeaky toy. It is said to the dog because it’s the dog who eats the diamond.

    • Just before Mickey and Bomber Harris begin their fight, Bomber Harris head-butts Mickey just after the bell rings. Mickey recoils checking for blood on his glove and then floors his opponent with one punch. This was a nod towards Lenny “The Guv’nor” McClean when he fought “Mad Gypsy” Bradshaw in an almost identical fight. Lenny McLean worked with Guy Ritchie on Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) and passed away in 1998.

    • When Mickey “wins” a new trailer van for his mother from Turkish, he specifically picks out “periwinkle blue” as the color. In Psycho (1960), we are told that Norman Bates helped to pick out a “periwinkle blue” dress for his dead mother. Mickey, just like Norman, is also responsible (albeit indirectly) for his own mother’s death.

Released: August 23, 2000 (UK), January 19, 2001 (US)

Directed By:  Guy Ritchie

Screenplay By:  Guy Ritchie

Stars:    Benicio del Toro, Dennis Farina, Vinnie Jones, Brad Pitt, Rade Šerbedžija, Jason Statham, Stephen Graham

Plot:  Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond.

How did this movie do
Budget: $10 Million
Box office: $84 Million

  • The role of Brick Top was originally offered to Sean Connery. Connery liked the script and was curious to see Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), so producer Matthew Vaughn hastily arranged a screening for him at extreme short notice. Connery duly turned up and watched the film, before emerging with his judgment: “That is a good film”, he said, “and (in a stage whisper) you’re not going to be able to afford me.” Cue Alan Ford.
  • Brad Pitt contacted Guy Ritchie to see if the director had any part for him in his new movie, Ritchie responded “yes”, but after the phone conversation was over, Ritchie realized that he offered Pitt a part in Snatch that did not exist. He rewrote the movie with a part for Pitt: Mickey O’Neil.
    • Brad Pitt, who was a big fan of Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), approached director Guy Ritchie and asked for a role in this film. When Ritchie found Pitt couldn’t master a London accent, he gave him the role of Mickey the Gypsy.
    • When Guy Ritchie told Brad Pitt that he would be playing a boxer, Pitt became concerned because he had just finished shooting Fight Club (1999) and did not want to play the same type of role again. Pitt took the role anyway because he wanted to work with Ritchie so badly.
  • bent – crooked, illegal.
  • bet your bollocks to a barn dance – similar to ‘bet your life’ or ‘bet your arse’.
  • black stuff – the Irish stout Guinness.
  • bollocks – A very common swear word in the UK. It can be traced back to the 11th century and means testicles.
  • clocked – to see / be seen. e.g. “Shite, we’ve been clocked!”.
  • disco biscuits – ecstacy (the drug).
  • drip dry ’em – could be either similar to the phrase “leaving someone out to dry” or may be a reference to cutting the throat of a victim and draining the blood (like with cattle).
  • grainers – possibly a reference to bullets, probably shot-gun pellets.
  • grasses – Informers.
  • Jacob’s – Rhyming Slang for ‘Jacob’s Cream Crackers’ – ‘knackers’ which is slang for ‘testicles’.
  • k – a thousand pounds.
  • large – a thousand pounds. e.g. “Ten large to help the situation”.
  • melees – close combat, weapons such as knives etc.
  • Mickey Mouse – fake.
  • minerals – testicles. This comes from the Rhyming Slang term ‘Family Jewels’ (pron. “jawls”) = ‘balls’.
  • moody – stolen.
  • mucker – friend / mate.
  • mustard – good.
  • pikey – a gypsy or vagrant. This term comes from the ‘Kentish’ dialect word ‘pike’ meaning ‘toll-gate’.
  • porky pies – lies.
  • shite – northern dialect version of ‘shit’.
  • schtrops – (yiddish) useless, not worth the time.
  • spurious – not real, dodgy.
  • taking the piss – extreemly common term for ‘making fun of’.
  • tip-top – great condition. Archaic upper class term.
  • tucked up – conned, tricked.
  • wanker – idiot, dispicable person. Literally means to masturbate.
  • who took the jam out of your doughnut ? – who spoiled your fun ?
  • Yardie – Jamaican gangster.

Check out where we found this helpful guide:  http://www.londonslang.com/db/film_slang/ 

  • The F-word was used a 163 times over the course of the movie’s 102-minute runtime. That equals roughly 1.6 F-bombs per minute.

  • Pikey, as of 1989, is common prison slang for Romani People or those who have a similar lifestyle of itinerant unemployment and travel. More recently, pikey was applied to Irish Travellers (other slurs include tinkers and knackers) and non-Romanichal travellers. In the late 20th century, it came to be used to describe “a lower-class person, regarded as coarse or disreputable. Pikey’s most common contemporary use is as a catch-all phrase to refer to people, of any ethnic group, who travel around with no fixed abode. It is sometimes used to refer to a wide section of the (generally urban) underclass of the country (in England generally known as chavs), or merely a person of any social class who “lives on the cheap” such as a bohemian.

  • Brad Pitt’s character and indecipherable speech was inspired by many critics’ complaints about the accents of the characters in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998). Guy Ritchie decided to counter the criticisms by creating a character that not only couldn’t be understood by the audience but that also couldn’t be understood by characters in the movie.

  • Every mistake that Sol, Vincent and Tyrone make were inspired by various late-night TV shows about real-life crimes gone horribly wrong.

  • When Vinny and Sol are sitting outside Brick-Top’s Bookies, about to give him the diamond, the man that approaches the car is not really Bullet-Tooth Tony, it was a look-alike. Vinnie Jones didn’t show up for shooting that day because he was in jail for fighting the night before.

  • According to the DVD commentary, Bow (Staffordshire Bull Terrier), the dog was very difficult to work with. During the car scene with Vincent, Sol and Tyrone, the dog was actually attacking Lennie James, and James was actually bitten in the crotch by the dog but didn’t suffer any serious injury. The dog was replaced after that incident.

  • The producers couldn’t afford enough extras for the boxing match sequences. Whenever a camera angle changed, the extras had to move around to create an impression of a crowded house.

  • Lennie James actually hit himself in his private parts with the shotgun while blasting a hole in the wall at the bookies, but continued the scene. That footage was used in the film.

  • Nearly every death in the movie takes place off-screen.

  • To keep things in order during production, director Guy Ritchie introduced a system of fines on set. There were fines for mobile phones ringing, arriving late, taking naps during shooting, being “cheeky”, being unfunny, and/or moaning and complaining. One staff member was even charged for letting the craft service table run out of coffee cups.

  • As he was playing a particularly scummy character, Brad Pitt made a point of rarely washing during the film’s production.

  • On the DVD commentary, Guy Ritchie mentions meeting a Brazilian man who told him that the most hated people in his country are animal abusers (particularly dogs). Ritchie was inspired to add a scene of Brick Top prodding a dog to provoke to fight, highlighting what a monstrous individual he is.

  • In Guy Ritchie’s previous film Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), there is a scene in which Harry, Barry and Chris have a conversation. Barry says the line. “No, Harry, you can’t,” which is shortly repeated by Chris, then by both together. This joke is carried over to this movie when Alex and Susi do the same thing with the line, “Yeah, Dad, you told us.”

  • Jason Flemyng joked that the working conditions on this film were so terrible that Brad Pitt’s trailer was picketed by Amnesty International as not being fit for someone to live in.

  • Brad Pitt was initially thrown by the British cast and crew’s predilection for using the word “cunt” with such abandon. He soon wore down his resistance and joined in.

  • When Vinnie Jones is introduced in the movie, he is slamming a man’s head in a car door. It was the head of stunt co-coordinator and action director Tom Delmar, who volunteered for the job.

  • During the opening credits, the Hasidic-clad diamond thieves are discussing the Virgin Mary. This is a reference to Reservoir Dogs (1992), where during the opening scene the thieves are discussing the Madonna song “Like a Virgin”.

  • Brick Top is seen to be involved in dog fighting, at one point torturing a dog. In real life, Alan Ford is a vegetarian and animal rights activist.

  • Guy Ritchie reportedly paid US $1 million for the use of Madonna’s song, “Lucky Star”. At the time he made this movie, Ritchie was dating Madonna, and was married to her from late 2000 to 2008. Ritchie would direct Madonna in Swept Away (2002), and would direct her controversial music video for the song, “What It Feels Like For A Girl.”

  • Franky Four-Fingers (Benicio Del Toro) changes into four different outfits during the short telephone conversation to cousin Avi.

  • Tim Maurice-Jones, the cinematographer, plays the man who is repeatedly battered over the head at the beginning of the movie by Frankie Four-Fingers (Benicio Del Toro). In Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), for which he was also the cinematographer, he was the man being drowned at the beginning of the film by Barry the Baptist (Lenny McLean).

  • Brad Pitt said that he based his accent off a guest character, Fred Rickwood, on the Irish TV show Father Ted (1995) who appeared in the episode Father Ted: A Song for Europe (1996).

  • The U.S. distributors considered changing the title to “Snatched” or “Snatch’d”.

  • When Bullettooth Tony and Avi are driving with Mullet’s head stuck in the car window, Tony turns on the radio. Madonna’s “Lucky Star” is playing, and Tony says “Oh, I love this track!” It’s actually the same track that’s playing when Tony is shot six times in a row, in the flashback scene a few minutes ago.

  • Vinnie Jones character goes after a dog with a knife to cut him open after swallowing a diamond. In Gone in 60 Seconds (2000), his character is stopped from cutting open a dog who has swallowed some car keys.

  • Boris the Blade pulls a large cleaver from his belt. Soap did the same thing in Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998), another Guy Ritchie movie.

  • One of the boxers is called Bomber Harris. “Bomber Harris” was the nickname of Arthur Harris, chief of RAF Bomber Command in World War II. The name later appeared in a German Monty Python special (Monty Python’s Fliegender Zirkus (1972)) as the name of a man who wrestles himself – Colin “Bomber” Harris.

  • Actor, Vinnie Jones, shows a ceratin signature fighting move that he displays in director, Guy Ritchie’s movies. In “Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels”, one of his last scenes in the movie with his character, ‘Big Chris’, he is continuously slamming the character, ‘Dog’s’ head in a car door. When Vinnie’s character, ‘Tony’ in “Snatch” is first introduced, he is, again, slamming a poor victim’s head in a car door.

  • The word bricktop is a British slang for someone with red hair. It can be assumed Bricktop had ginger hair in his youth.

  • Throughout the movie, Turkish makes comments to Tommy about his getting a gun for protection from “Ze Germans”. Stephen Graham also played Sgt. Myron ‘Mike’ Ranney in the series Band of Brothers (2001), although the film was released a year prior to the series.

  • The hardcore band “Cold War from Orange County, California” quotes this movie several times throughout their CD “From Russia With Love.” Some of the lines quoted are: (“Quote” – Character / Song in which quote is used) “From Russia with love, ah?” – Doug The Head / Love Betrays “Heavy’s good, heavy’s reliable.” – Boris the Blade / Painful Delight “Do you know what “nemesis” means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an ‘orrible c*nt… me.” – Brick Top / Retrace My Steps

  • The role of Brick Top Polford was originally offered to Dave Courtney.

  • In his very first shot on screen, it’s heavily implied that Brad Pitt is defecating on the ground between a car and a caravan.

  • Snatch includes two leading guest stars for the BBC series, Line of Duty. Lennie James (Sol) plays Tony Gates and Stephen Graham (Tommy) plays John Corbett though the two do not star in the same season nor do they share any scenes.

  • Bullet Tooth Tony picks up Mullet, the informant, in front of a shop called “Guys & Dolls,” a reference to writer Damon Runyon whom director Guy Ritchie has cited as one of the major influences for his gangster films.

  • Guy Ritchie: In the back of the bar when we are first introduced to Doug The Head. Ritchie is the man reading the newspaper.

  • The film’s title only appears once throughout the entire movie, where Vinny (Robbie Gee) tells the dog, “Don’t Snatch!” as it takes the squeaky toy. It is said to the dog because it’s the dog who eats the diamond.

  • Just before Mickey and Bomber Harris begin their fight, Bomber Harris head-butts Mickey just after the bell rings. Mickey recoils checking for blood on his glove and then floors his opponent with one punch. This was a nod towards Lenny “The Guv’nor” McClean when he fought “Mad Gypsy” Bradshaw in an almost identical fight. Lenny McLean worked with Guy Ritchie on Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (1998) and passed away in 1998.

  • When Mickey “wins” a new trailer van for his mother from Turkish, he specifically picks out “periwinkle blue” as the color. In Psycho (1960), we are told that Norman Bates helped to pick out a “periwinkle blue” dress for his dead mother. Mickey, just like Norman, is also responsible (albeit indirectly) for his own mother’s death.

About The Movie From IMDB

Snatch Comedy, Crime | January 19, 2001 (United States) 8.2
Director: Guy RitchieWriter: Guy RitchieStars: Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Stephen GrahamSummary: Turkish and his close friend/accomplice Tommy get pulled into the world of match fixing by the notorious Brick Top. Things get complicated when the boxer they had lined up gets badly beaten by Mickey, who comes into the equation after Turkish, an unlicensed boxing promoter wants to buy a caravan off of Travellers. They then try to convince Mickey not only to fight for them, but to lose for them too. Whilst all this is going on, a huge diamond heist takes place, and a fistful of motley characters enter the story, including 'Cousin Avi', 'Boris The Blade', 'Franky Four Fingers' and 'Bullet Tooth Tony'. Things go from bad to worse as it all becomes about the money, the guns, and the damned dog. —Filmtwob <webmaster@filmfreak.co.za>

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Cast

Jason Statham
...
Brad Pitt
...
Stephen Graham
...
Vinnie Jones
...
Ade
...
William Beck
...
Andy Beckwith
...
Ewen Bremner
...
Jason Buckham
...
Mickey Cantwell
...
Nicola Collins
...
Teena Collins
...
Charles Cork
...
James Cunningham
...
Sorcha Cusack
...
Mickey Dee
...
Benicio Del Toro
...
Sam Douglas
...

See full cast >>
Countries: United Kingdom, United StatesLanguages: English, RussianBudget: £6,000,000 (estimated)
Source: imdb.com
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8.2
Snatch Comedy, Crime | January 19, 2001 (United States)
Director: Guy RitchieWriter: Guy RitchieStars: Jason Statham, Brad Pitt, Stephen Graham
Summary: Unscrupulous boxing promoters, violent bookmakers, a Russian gangster, incompetent amateur robbers and supposedly Jewish jewelers fight to track down a priceless stolen diamond.
Countries: United Kingdom, United StatesLanguages: English, Russian
Source: imdb.comDisclaimer: This plugin has been coded to automatically quote data from imdb.com. Not available for any other purpose. All showing data have a link to imdb.com. The user is responsible for any other use or change codes.

Quotes

Turkish: What's happening with them sausages, Charlie?

Sausage Charlie: Five minutes, Turkish.

Turkish: It was two minutes five minutes ago.

Policeman: So, what you doin here?

Turkish: I'm taking the dog for a walk. What's the problem?

Policeman: What's in the car?

Turkish: Seats and a steering wheel.

Turkish: You take sugar?

Brick Top: No thank you, Turkish; I'm sweet enough.

Brick Top: Do you know what "nemesis" means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent. Personified in this case by an 'orrible cunt... me.

Avi: Eighty-six carats.

Rosebud: Where?

Avi: London.

Rosebud: London?

Avi: London.

Avi's Colleague: London?

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup 'o tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins... LONDON.

Tyrone: I don't want that dog dribbling on my seats.

Vinny: Your seats? Tyrone, this is a stolen car, mate.

Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth?

Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from, eh?

[Tyrone just backed into Franky Four Fingers' van]

Tyrone: I didn't see it there.

Vinny: It's a four ton truck, Tyrone. Its not as if it's a packet of fucking peanuts, is it?

Tyrone: It was a funny angle.

[All three turn and look back at the truck]

Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. Whenever you reverse, things come from behind you.

Bullet Tooth Tony: You should never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Brick Top: You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together.

Sol: Would someone mind telling me, who are you?

Brick Top: And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

Vinny: Well, thank you for that. That's a great weight off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course?

Bullet Tooth Tony: So, you are obviously the big dick. The men on the side of ya are your balls. Now there are two types of balls. There are big brave balls, and there are little mincey faggot balls.

Vinny: These are your last words, so make them a prayer.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Now, dicks have drive and clarity of vision, but they are not clever. They smell pussy and they want a piece of the action. And you thought you smelled some good old pussy, and have brought your two little mincey faggot balls along for a good old time. But you've got your parties muddled up. There's no pussy here, just a dose that'll make you wish you were born a woman. Like a prick, you are having second thoughts. You are shrinking, and your two little balls are shrinking with you. And the fact that you've got "Replica" written down the side of your guns...

[Zoom in on the side of Sol's gun, which indeed has "REPLICA" etched on the side; zoom out, as they sneak peeks at the sides of their guns]

Bullet Tooth Tony: And the fact that I've got "Desert Eagle point five O"...

[Withdraws his gun and puts it on the table]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Written on the side of mine...

[They look, zoom in on the side of his gun, which indeed has "DESERT EAGLE .50" etched on the side]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Should precipitate your balls into shrinking, along with your presence. Now... Fuck off!

Turkish: Well the rabbit gets fucked.

Tommy: [pauses] Proper fucked?

Turkish: Yes, before "Zee Germans" get there.

Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's got blagged last night.

Avi: Blagged? Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the fucking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.

Mickey: Good dags. D'ya like dags?

Tommy: Dags?

Mickey: What?

Mrs. O'Neil: Yeah, dags.

Tommy: Oh, dogs. Sure, I like dags. I like caravans more.

Brick Top: In the quiet words of the Virgin Mary... come again?

Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London.

[Avi arrives in London]

Doug the Head: Avi!

Avi: Shut up and sit down, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my own country, Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then warm sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats.

Doug the Head: We've got sandy beaches...

Avi: So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em? I hope you appreciate the concern I have for my friend Franky, Doug. I'm gonna find him, and you're gonna help me find him, and we're gonna start at that fight.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [referring to Tommy's gun] Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work you can always hit them with it.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?

Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?

Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Brick Top: I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm hard" Bruce Lee. You can't change fighters.

[first lines]

Turkish: [narrating] My name is Turkish. Funny name for an Englishman, I know. My parents to be were on the same plane when it crashed. That's how they met. They named me after the name of the plane. Not many people are named after a plane crash. That's Tommy. He tells people he was named after a gun, but I know he was really named after a famous 19th century ballet dancer.

Turkish: [looks at the caravan] Look at it. How am I suppose to run this thing from that? We'll need a proper office. I want a new one, Tommy. You're going to buy it for me.

Tommy: Why me?

Turkish: Well, you know about caravans.

Tommy: How's that?

Turkish: You spent a summer in one, which means you know more than me. And I don't want to have my pants pulled down over the price.

Tommy: What's wrong with this one?

Turkish: [Pulls the caravan's door from its hinges] Oh, nothing, Tommy. It's tiptop. It's just I'm not sure about the colour.

Customs official: Anything to declare?

Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

Brick Top: Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.

Brick Top: Do you know what nemesis means? A righteous infliction of retribution manifested by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by a 'orrible cunt, me.

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?

Tyrone: It's too tight.

Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that.

Franky Four Fingers: So the Biblical scholars mis-translated the Hebrew word for "young woman" into the Greek word for "virgin," which was a pretty easy mistake to make, since there is only a subtle difference in the spelling. But back then it was the "virgin" that caught people's attention. It's not every day a virgin conceives and bears a son. So you keep that for a couple of hundred years, and the next thing you know, you have the Holy Catholic church.

Gorgeous George: Get back down or you will not be coming up next time.

[watches as Mickey warms up]

Gorgeous George: Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here.

Mickey: You're not going anywhere, you thick lump.

[Pulls off his shirt]

Mickey: You stay until the job's done.

[kisses his good luck charms and knocks Gorgeous out with a single punch]

Turkish: [narrating] It turned out that the sweet-talking, tattoo-sporting pikey was a gypsy bare-knuckle boxing champion. Which makes him harder than a coffin nail. Right now, that's the last thing on Tommy's mind. If Gorgeous doesn't wake up in the next few minutes, Tommy knows he'll be buried with him. Why would the gypsies go through the trouble of explaining why a man died in their campsite when they can bury the pair of them and just move camp? It's not like they got social security numbers, is it? Tommy - the tit - is praying. And if he isn't, he fucking should be.

Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?

Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.

Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?

Tommy: It's for protection.

Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

[Doug sees four Jewish kids smoking]

Doug the Head: What are you doing?

Jewish Boy: [spits] It's a free country, ain't it?

Doug the Head: Well it ain't a free shop, is it? So fuck off!

Sol: He's a natural, ain't you Tyrone?

Tyrone: 'course I am...

[reverses into parked van]

Vinny: A natural fucking idiot.

Avi: I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible.

Brick Top: What do you think, Errol?

Errol: I think we should drip-dry them, Guv'nor, while we have the chance.

Brick Top: It was a rhetorical question, Errol. What have I told you about thinking?

Sol: I'm not in here to make a fucking bet.

Female Bookie: 'Preciated, but all... bets... are... off. If all bets are off, then there can't be any money can't there?

Sol: I'm not fucking buying that.

Female Bookie: Well that's handy, 'cause I ain't fucking selling it. It's a fact.

Mickey: I'll tell ya what. I'll do it for a caravan.

Turkish: For what?

Pikeys: For a caravan.

Tommy: It was us who wanted a caravan.

[looking around]

Tommy: Anyway, what's wrong with this one?

Mickey: It's not for me. It's for me ma.

Turkish: Your what?

Pikeys: His ma.

Turkish: You show me how to control a wild fucking gypsy and I'll show you how to control an unhinged, pig-feeding gangster.

Vinny: What the fuck do you mean, replicas?

Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And nobody is gonna argue. And I've got some extra loud blanks, just in case.

Vinny: In... Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?

Turkish: Well, do you want to do it?

Mickey: That depends.

Turkish: On what?

Mickey: On you buying this caravan. Not the rouge one, the rose.

Turkish: It's not the same caravan.

Mickey: It's not the same fight.

Turkish: It's twice the fucking size of the last one.

Mickey: Turkish, the fight is twice the size. And me ma still needs a caravan. I like to look after me ma. It's a fair deal. Take it.

Turkish: Mickey, you're lucky we aren't worm food after your last performance. Buying a tart's mobile palace is a little fucking rich.

[Realizes his mistake]

Turkish: I wasn't calling your mum a tart. I just meant...

Mickey: Ah, save your breath for cooling your porridge. Now, look...

Mickey: She wants the Hector-2 roof lights, uh... the stylish ash-framed furniture and the scatter cushions with the matching shag pile covering.

Mickey: Right. And she's terrible partial to the periwinkle blue, boys. Have I made myself clear, boys?

Turkish: Yeah, that's perfectly clear, Mickey. Yeah... just give me one minute to confer with my colleague.

[to Tommy]

Turkish: Did you understand a single word of what he just said?

Avi: Tony.

Bullet Tooth Tony: What?

Avi: Look in the dog.

Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you mean "look in the dog?"

Avi: I mean open him up.

Bullet Tooth Tony: It's not as if it's a tin of baked beans! What do you mean "open him up"?

Turkish: Have you ever crossed the road, and looked the wrong way? A car's nearly on you? So what do you do? Something very silly. You freeze. Your life doesn't flash before you, 'cause you're too fuckin' scared to think - you just freeze and pull a stupid face. But the pikey didn't. Why? Because he had plans of running the car over.

Errol: Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he?

Turkish: Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.

Vinny: Did he have four fingers?

Sol: I'm sorry, I couldn't get the bin-noc-u-lars out in time.

Tommy: Who took the jam outta your doughnut?

Turkish: You took the fucking jam outta my doughnut, Tommy. You did.

Sol: You ain't from this planet are you, Vincent? Who is gonna mug two black fellas, holding pistols, sat in a car that is worth less than your shirt?

[while robbing the bookies]

Sol: Are you all right there Vincent?

Vinny: I would be if you stopped using my name.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Avi, pull your socks up.

Brick Top: You're on thin fucking ice my pedigree chums, and I shall be under it when it breaks. Now, fuck off.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [after shooting Frankie] Drop the gun, fat boy.

[Tyrone does]

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [re: Frankie] You fucking idiots! He could not know my name. Give me the stone.

Vinny: [pointing] It's in the case.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: What?

[takes out his earplugs]

Vinny: It's in the case!

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: You put the stone in the case? Then open the case and give me the stone.

Sol: The only man who knew the combination... you just shot.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [mutters] Yob tvoyu mat...

[Russian, "fuck your mother"]

Turkish: I'm sorry, Mickey.

Mickey: Did ya do it? Then why are ya sorry?

[looking at the video of Sol and Vinny, trapped in the foyer of the bookie's by the security door]

Brick Top: Do you know these tits, Errol?

Errol: I know a lot of tits, Guv'nor. But I don't know any quite as fucking stupid as these two.

Brick Top: John?

John: I can't help, Guv.

[Tyrone pokes his head in the door]

Errol: Ah, Tyrone.

Errol, John: You silly fat bastard.

Turkish: For ever action, there is a reaction. And a Pikey reaction... is quite a fucking thing.

Mickey: [roused from his drunken stupor] I need to have a shite.

Turkish: I fail to recognize the correlation between losing ten grand, hospitalizing Gorgeous, and a good deal.

Mickey: The deal was you bought it like you saw it. Hey, look, I've helped you as much as I'm going to help you. See that car? Just use it for you're not welcome anymore. You should fuck off now while you still got the legs to carry you.

Gorgeous George: Nobody...

Mickey: Nobody brings a fella the size of you unless they're trying to say something without talking, right boy?

Tommy: Sorry, Mickey. Just give our money back and you can keep the caravan.

Mickey: Why the fuck do I want a caravan that's got no fucking wheels?

[Gorgeous rushes Mickey]

Mickey: You want to settle this with a fight?

Mrs. O'Neil: Over my dead body! Now, go on! Go on! I'll not have you fighting! You know what happens when you fight.

Mickey: Get her to sit down. For fuck's sake! Want the money? I ain't fucked you. I'll fight you for it. You and me.

Sol: What the fuck is that?

Vinny: Heh heh. This is a shotgun, Sol.

Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun, Vincent.

Vinny: Well I wanna raise some pulses, don't I?

Sol: You'll raise Hell. Never mind pulses.

Turkish: It's an unlicensed boxing match. It's not a tickling competition. These lads are out to hurt each other.

[Gorgeous George has just been knocked out]

Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.

Brick Top: Shhh. You're going to have to repeat that.

Turkish: We've lost Gorgeous George.

Brick Top: Well, where'd you lose him? He ain't a set of fucking car keys, is he? And it ain't as if he's incon-fucking-spicuous now, is it?

[Avi, Tony, and Rosebud watch Boris on the video monitor]

Bullet Tooth Tony: This guy's a handful.

Rosebud: I hate Russians. I'll take care of him.

Bullet Tooth Tony: He's all yours, Rosebud me old son.

Rosebud: Not a problem.

[Cut to a few minutes later, inside Tony's Jaguar. All three of them are bruised, bloody, and shouting, but Rosebud is seriously hurt]

Rosebud: You gotta get me to a doctor! Shoot that fuck, then get me to a doctor!

Avi: Yeah, yeah, but first the stone, Rosie. First the stone and then I'm gonna get you to a doctor, and not just any doctor, boychik, I'm gonna find you a nice Jewish doctor.

[at Tony]

Avi: Find my friend a nice Jewish doctor!

Turkish: You aren't exactly Mister Current Affairs are you, Tommy? "Mad Fist" went mad, and "The Gun," shot himself.

Errol: Are you Turkish?

Turkish: Well I'm not fuckin' Greek now, am I?

Brick Top: Pull your tongue out of my arsehole, Gary. Dogs do that. You're not a dog, are ya Gary?

Gary: No, no I'm not.

Brick Top: But you do have all the characteristics of a dog, Gary. All except loyalty.

[Errol zaps Gary]

Turkish: [Voice over] It's rumored that Brick Top's favorite means of dispatch involves a stun gun, a plastic bag, a roll of tape, and a pack of hungry pigs.

Brick Top: [to Errol's companion] You're a ruthless little cunt, Liam, I'll give you that. But I've got no time for grassers.

[John throws a plastic bag over Liam's head and suffocates him]

Brick Top: Feed 'em to the pigs, Errol.

[to the two boxers, who are now staring in horror]

Brick Top: What the fuck are you two looking at?

[after cleaning out Turkish's Safe]

Brick Top: He's been a busy little bastard, that Turkish.

Errol: I think you've let him get away with enough already, Guv'nor.

Brick Top: It can get you in a lot of trouble, thinking, Errol, I shouldn't do so much of it.

Doug the Head: [examining Franky's diamonds] Ah, from Russia with love, eh?

Franky Four Fingers: I have stones to sell, fat to chew, and many different men to see about many different dogs, so if I am not rushing you...

Doug the Head: Slow down, Franky, my son. When in Rome.

Franky Four Fingers: I am not in Rome, Doug. I am in a rush. I got to make the bookies.

Doug the Head: Bookies? What are you betting on?

Franky Four Fingers: Bomber Harris.

Doug the Head: Ah. The unlicensed boxer, eh? Do you know something that I don't?

Franky Four Fingers: Bubbe, I probably know a lot you don't.

Tommy: The human body hasn't got used to dairy products yet.

Turkish: Well fuck me Tommy. What have you been reading?

Turkish: All he's gotta do is stay down.

[Mickey suddenly rises from the mat and knocks out Anderson with a single punch]

Turkish: *Now* we are fucked.

Turkish: I can't make him fight, can I?

Brick Top: You're not much good to me alive, are you, Turkish?

[Tony empties his gun through the wall, hitting both Boris and Tyrone. He comes in, reloading]

Bullet Tooth Tony: What's Boris doing here? Boris, what are you doing here?

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Fuck you!

[Tony shoots him twice, then turns to Tyrone]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Where's the case?

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Uhhh, you piece of crap...

Bullet Tooth Tony: Don't take the piss, Boris.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: [reaching for his gun] I show you...

[Tony shoots him four more times]

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Fuck you!

[a seventh time]

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Almost had it...

Bullet Tooth Tony: For fuck's sake...

[Tony takes careful aim and fires an eighth shot. Sound of Boris finally collapsing]

Turkish: Well, why didn't you just

[American accent]

Turkish: "bust a cap in his ass," Tommy?

Sol: You are a bad-boy yardie, and bad-boy yardies are supposed to know how to get rid of bodies.

Bad Boy Lincoln: I create the bodies. I don't erase the bodies.

[last lines]

Turkish: [narrating] Tommy persuaded me to keep the dog. I eventually agreed, as long as he took it to a vet. I couldn't stand that squeaking any more. The vet found half an undigested shoe, a squeaky toy, and an 84-carat diamond lodged in its stomach. It's quite amazing what can happen in a week. Still didn't shut it up though. So what do you do? You go to see the man that knows about these sort of things.

Turkish: So what do you think? Do you know anyone who'd be interested?

Doug the Head: I might.

Turkish: Tommy, why is your skin leaking?

Tommy: I'm a little worried actually, Turkish.

Turkish: Worried about what?

Tommy: What happens if the gypsy knocks the other man out? I mean, he's done it before ain't he?

Turkish: We get murdered before we leave the building, and I imagine we get fed to the pigs.

Tommy: Well I'm glad to see you're climbing the walls in fucking anxiety. Pardon my cynicism, but I don't exactly trust the pikey.

Turkish: Don't think I haven't thunk about that one, Tommy. It's his mum's funeral tonight. God bless her. You know those gypsies like a drink at a wake. I'm not worried about whether Mickey knocks the other man out. I'm worried about whether Mickey makes it to the fourth fucking round.

Tommy: What if he doesn't make it to the fourth round?

Turkish: We get murdered before we leave the building, and I imagine we get fed to the pigs.

Doug the Head: Avi, I'm not telepathic.

Cousin Avi: Well you're plenty fucking stupid, I'll give you that. Do you know why they call him Franky "Four Fingers" Doug? Because he makes stupid bets with dangerous people, and when he doesn't pay up, they give him the chop, Doug. And I'm not talking about his fucking fore-skin either.

Brick Top: [referring to Tommy] Turkish, put a lid on her.

Vinny: [Vinny brings a dog into the shop while Sol is examining a diamond for Bad Bay Lincoln] Bad Boy. Sol.

Bad Boy Lincoln: Easy.

Sol: No, it's a moissanite.

Bad Boy Lincoln: A what-in-ite?

Sol: A moissanite is an artificial diamond, Lincoln. It's Mickey Mouse, mate. Spurious. Not genuine. And it's worth... fuck-all.

[he hands back the stone]

Vinny: Bad Boy, I keep tellin' ya, stick to being a gangster. Leave this game to me and Sol.

Bad Boy Lincoln: Laters.

[he walks out]

Sol: What is that, Vince?

Vinny: This is a dog, Sol.

Sol: You are NOT bringing that thing in here.

Vinny: What's your problem? It's only a fucking dog.

Sol: Where did you get it?

Vinny: The gyppos. Here.

[he tosses Sol a bag]

Vinny: They threw it in with a load of moody gold. You know gyppos, Sol. They're always throwing dogs in with deals.

Sol: Well, it better not be dangerous.

[Vinny takes the dog off its leash]

Sol: What do you think you're doing now?

Vinny: Well, I want him to get used to the shop, don't I?

[Boris opens the door and walks in; the dog runs out and Vinny takes off after it]

Vinny: Oi! Oi, stop the dog! Come back here!

Sol: All right, Boris? Don't worry about the dog.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: I'm not.

Sol: What can I do for you, Boris?

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: I have a job for you.

Sol: I already have a job.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Fifty grand for half day's work.

Sol: Go on.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: I want you to hold up a bookies.

Alex Denovitz: What about Tony?

[Cut back and forth between Doug's office and a younger Tony in Charlie's brothel]

Alex Denovitz: You know, Bullet Tooth Tony.

Avi: Who's Bullet Tooth...?

Charlie: Tony!

Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.

Doug the Head: He's a liability.

Alex Denovitz: He'll find you Moses and the burning bush, if you pay him to.

Charlie: [draws a gun] You are gonna die, Tony!

Alex Denovitz: He got shot six times, had the bullets molded into gold.

[Charlie shoots Tony twice in the chest]

Charlie: I shoot you, you go down!

Susi Denovitz: He's got two in his teeth that Dad did for him. So he loves Dad.

[Charlie shoots Tony three more times]

Charlie: Why don't you fucking die!

Susi Denovitz: He's the best chance you got of finding Franky.

Avi: Six times?

[Charlie shoots Tony in the mouth]

Doug the Head: In one sitting.

[Tony, blood dripping from his mouth, draws a saber]

Bullet Tooth Tony: You're in trouble now!

Turkish: Now, I know he looks like a fat fucker... well, he is a fat fucker...

Tommy: Are you sayin' I can't shoot?

Turkish: No Tommy, I'm not saying you can't shoot. I know you can't shoot. I'm saying that six-pound piece of shit stuck in your trousers would do more damage if you fed it to him.

[Brick-Top's men have Turkish pinned on the floor. Errol raises a sword to strike, then Tommy appears with his dud pistol]

Tommy: Turkish, get your arse up. You lot? Follow me, and I'll fucking shoot you.

Errol: Calm down son, behave yourself.

Tommy: I've got the gun, son. I think it's you who should behave.

[Errol takes a step forward. Tommy cocks the gun and sticks it right in his face]

Tommy: What? You want to see if I've got the minerals?

[Brick-Top's men don't move as Tommy backs out of the slot parlor, then runs after Turkish]

Brick Top: [Into cell phone] Pete, talk to me.

Darren: [Into cell phone] If ya want yer friend to hear ya, you'll have to talk a lot louder than that.

Cousin Avi: Is there gambling involved?

Doug the Head: It's a boxing match, Avi, a boxing match.

Cousin Avi: Did he have a case with him?

Doug the Head: Yes, he had a case.

Cousin Avi: And this schmuck is gambling? You're talking about Franky "I've got a problem with gambling" fucking Four Fingers Doug.

Vinny: The dog. The dog must have ate it.

[standing over Franky's body]

Bad Boy Lincoln: What has he got a tea cozy on his head for?

Sol: [sarcastic] To keep his head warm.

Bad Boy Lincoln: Well, what's the matter with him?

Vinny: He's been shot in the face, Lincoln. I would've thought that was obvious.

[repeated line]

various characters: [regarding Boris The Blade] Sneaky fuckin' Russian.

[repeated line]

Tommy, Gorgeous George, Bricktop's Henchman: I fuckin' hate Pikeys.

Avi: [in Doug's office while trying to find Boris] Russians.

[he chuckles]

Avi: Russians. I should've known. Anti-Semite, slippery Cossack sluts. What do you know about this goyim?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Ex-KGB cancer. He was a highly trained undercover agent. He'll be impossible to track down.

Doug the Head: [the phone rings and Doug picks it up] Yeah.

Susi Denovitz: Dad, there's a strange man down here who wants to sell us an 84-carat stone.

Doug the Head: Where does he come from?

Susi Denovitz: I don't know, it's hard to tell. He's got a thick Russian accent.

[cut to a TV monitor as Boris stares suspiciously into the camera]

Bullet Tooth Tony: I want to know who blagged Brick-Top's bookies.

Mullet: Do me a favor, Ton!

Bullet Tooth Tony: I will do you a favor, Mullet. I'll not get out of this car and bash the living fuck out of you in front of all your girlfriends.

[Mullet hunkers down to the car window]

Mullet: Got to make it worth my while, mate. Jesus, Tony, you know that...

[Tony seizes his tie and rolls up the window, wedging Mullet's head in it]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Comfortable, Mullet? It seems sadly ironic that it's that tie that's got you into this pickle. Now you just take all the time you want.

[He starts the car forward]

Mullet: What the fuck are you doing, Ton?

Bullet Tooth Tony: I'm driving down the street with your head stuck in my window. What do you think I'm doing, you pen-ass?

Mullet: Slow down, Ton.

Bullet Tooth Tony: [sniffs] You been using dogshit for toothpaste, Mullet?

Mullet: Slow down, Ton! Slow down, Tony!

Bullet Tooth Tony: I don't think I'll slow down. I think I'll speed up. You can play some music if you like.

[He turns on the radio; Madonna's "Lucky Star" is playing]

Bullet Tooth Tony: Oh, I love this track.

Mullet: I think...

Bullet Tooth Tony: Yes, Mullet?

Mullet: I think it's two black guys, in a pawn shop on Smith street.

Bullet Tooth Tony: You better not be telling me porky pies.

Mullet: I'm fucking telling you, it's two black guys who work off a pawn shop in fucking Smith Street!

Avi: That's very effective, Tony. It's not too subtle, but effective.

[Tony accelerates and turns toward Smith Street]

Avi: Are we taking him with us?

[Tony rolls down the window, releasing Mullet's head and dumping him on the roadside]

Turkish: [voice over] Boris the Blade, or Boris "the Bullet Dodger." As bent as the Soviet sickle, and as hard as the hammer that crosses it. Apparently, it's just impossible to kill the bastard.

Brick Top: Are you taking the piss?

Avi: Tony, there is a man I'd like you to find.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Well, that depends on all the elements in the equation. How many are there?

Avi: Forty thousand.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Where was he last seen?

Doug the Head: At a bookie's.

Bullet Tooth Tony: A bookie's... pass us the blower, Susi.

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: You can keep the 10 grand, along with the body. But if I see you again - YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! - Well, look at him.

Brick Top: Gimme that fucking shooter!

Pikey: I'll give you your shooter, ya cunt ya!

[Blam]

Mickey: I bet ya can box a little, can't ya sir? Aye, you look like a boxer.

Mickey: I'll bet you for it.

Tommy: You'll what?

Pikeys: HE'LL BET YOU FOR IT!

Turkish: What, like Tommy did last time? Do me a favour?

Mickey: I'll do you a favour. You have first bet. If I win, I get a caravan... and the boys get a pair of them shoes.

[the Pikeys laugh at Turkish and Tommy, who are wearing plastic bags around their shoes]

Mickey: If I lose... Oh fuck it, I'll do the fight for free.

Turkish: [narrating] Now the last thing I really wanna do is bet a pikey.

Bullet Tooth Tony: I'm driving down the road with your head stuck in my window. What does it look like I'm doin'?

Turkish: [Tommy has a gun in his trousers] What's to stop it blowing your bollocks off every time you sit down?

Bullet Tooth Tony: All right, Mullet?

[Mullet freezes, then swallows and turns around]

Mullet: How you doin', Tony? You all right, mate?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Ooh, nice tie.

Mullet: I heard you weren't about much these days, Tony.

Bullet Tooth Tony: What do you know? Still warm, the blood that courses through my veins. Unlike yours, Mullet.

Gorgeous George: This will get messy.

Vinny: Now I don't want to put a bullet in your face, but if you don't give us *exactly* what we want, there will be fucking murder.

Bullet Tooth Tony: [to Tyrone] What's your name?

Sol: Shoot him.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Ooh.

Franky Four Fingers: Where is the stone?

Errol: Looks like we're in, guv'nor.

Brick Top: Goody gumdrops. Get us a cup of tea, would you, Errol?

Gorgeous George: It's a camp site, a pikey campsite...

Tommy: Ten points.

Gorgeous George: What we doing here?

Tommy: We're buying a caravan.

Gorgeous George: Off a pack of fuckin' pikeys? What's wrong with you? This will get messy.

Tommy: Well not if you're here.

Gorgeous George: Oh, you bastard! I fuckin' hate pikeys!

[from a deleted scene]

Errol: You're a dead man, Tony! You hear me? A fucking dead man!

Brick Top: Oi! What's going on in there?

Errol: He's pissed in my fucking pocket!

Brick Top: Oh, shut up, Errol. Get back in your fucking pram. Tony, ain't you house-trained?

Errol: Oink oink!

Turkish: Shit!

Errol: So that's where you keep the sugar.

Turkish: I don't want to go in there. He's a dangerous bastard. Taken too many disco biscuits in the heat of Russian disputations. He's got as many of these nuts as he has those nuts.

Tommy: I don't care if he's got fucking hazelnuts. I want a gun that works, and I'm gonna tell him.

Turkish: My God, Tommy, you certainly got those minerals. Well, come on, then before "zee" Germans get here.

Turkish: [to Brick Top] You've still got your fight.

Brick Top: No, all bets are off at the bookies, you can't change fighters. So no, I don't have my fight do I? You fucking prat!

Avi: How do you wanna get rid of him?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Well, do you want to shoot him?

Avi: That's a little noisy, isn't it?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Well, do you want to stab him?

Avi: Well, that's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?

Bullet Tooth Tony: Do you want to kill him, or not?

Franky Four Fingers: So... what do you want for it?

Boris 'The Blade' Yurinov: Nothing.

Franky Four Fingers: OK... so, what do you want for it?

Brick Top: Of course, fucking of course. I wasn't asking, I was telling.

Mickey: Deadly kick for a fat fucker, ya know that?

Gorgeous George: [throws Mickey into the fence] Cheeky bastard!

Cousin Avi: Who's Bullet Tooth...

Chinese Guy: Tony.

Bullet Tooth Tony: You silly fuck.

Vinny: Wow! That's a great load off me mind. Now, if you wouldn't mind telling me who the fuck you are, apart from someone who feeds people to pigs of course!

[Police are watching Tommy chase the dog]

Turkish: He loves that dog. Always playing silly games.

Vinny: Do they fire?

Sol: Of course, they fire.

Vinny: Yeah, but, how d'you know? I mean, they're replicas. What do you know about replicas?

[Sol fires his replica pistol at the roof of the car, blowing out the car windows. Everyone screams]

Vinny: What the fuck are you doing, Solomon?

Sol: Well you wanted to know whether or not they worked!

Vinny: I didn't mean try it in the car, Sol! You arsehole!

[Tyrone drives into Boris the Blade]

Turkish: Bollocks! I'm going for a walk.

Sol: Oh, is that him?

Vinny: I don't know, how many fingers did he have?

Sol: I'm sorry I couldn't get the bin-noc-u-lars out in time.

Vinny: Look, well let's not stand in no ceremony mate, let's start the show.

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