Dalton: I want you to be nice until it's time to not be nice.

Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?

Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.

Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?

Dalton: Is she?

Dalton: All you have to do is follow three simple rules. One, never underestimate your opponent. Expect the unexpected. Two, take it outside. Never start anything inside the bar unless it's absolutely necessary. And three, be nice.

Dalton: Take the biggest guy in the world, shatter his knee and he'll drop like a stone.

Doc: Do you enjoy pain?

Dalton: Pain don't hurt.

Doc: Most of my patients would disagree with you.

Emmett: It ain't the money ya understand, but if I don't charge ya somethin' the Presbyterians around here are likely to pray for my ruination. How does a hundred dollars a month strike ya?

Dalton: Fine.

Emmett: Can ya afford that much?

Dalton: If it keeps you in the good graces of the church.

Emmett: Ain't it peculiar how money seems to do that very thing?

[last lines]

Tinker: A polar bear fell on me.

Wade Garrett: I'll get all the sleep I need when I'm dead.

Jimmy: I used to fuck guys like you in prison.

Dalton: Nobody ever wins a fight.

Wade Garrett: [Eyeing the sign over the Double Deuce] The Double Douche!

Dalton: So, you play pretty good for a blind white boy.

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Yeah, and I thought you'd be bigger.

Wade Garrett: That gal's got entirely too many brains to have an ass like that.

Doc: Do you always carry your medical record around with you?

Dalton: Saves time.

Wade Garrett: What's the matter? Still living in the past, aren't ya? We're a long way from Memphis.

Dalton: Memphis has nothing to do with it.

Wade Garrett: BULLSHIT. That dog won't hunt. I can't believe you're still draggin' that shit around with ya. It seems to me, you'd be a little more... philosophical about it. AND CUT IT THE FUCK LOOSE. You know, that fucking cu-... that *girl* never told you she was married. DID SHE? And when a man sticks a gun in yer face, you got two choices; you can die or you can KILL THE MOTHERFUCKER.

Morgan: What am I supposed to do?

Dalton: There's always barber college.

Emmett: Calling me 'sir' is like putting an elevator in an outhouse, it don't belong. I'm Emmett.

Dalton: People who really want to have a good time won't come to a slaughterhouse. And we've got entirely too many troublemakers here. Too many 40-year-old adolescents, felons, power drinkers and trustees of modern chemistry.

Doc: Your file says you've got a degree from NYU. What in?

Dalton: Philosophy.

Doc: Any particular discipline?

Dalton: No. Not really. Man's search for faith. That sort of shit.

Doc: Come up with any answers?

Dalton: Not too many.

Doc: How's a guy like you end up a bouncer?

Dalton: Just lucky I guess.

Dalton: Sorry, we're closed.

Ketchum: Then what are all these people doing here?

Dalton: Drinking and having a good time.

Ketchum: That's why we're here.

Dalton: You're too stupid to have a good time.

Wade Garrett: This place has a sign hangin' over the urinal that says, "Don't eat the big white mint".

Red Webster: How long are you gonna be in town?

Dalton: Not very long.

Red Webster: That's what I said 25 years ago.

Dalton: Really? What happened?

Red Webster: I got married to an ugly woman. Don't ever do that. It just takes the energy right out of you. She left me, though. Found somebody even uglier than she was. That's life. Who can explain it?

[Dalton walks in on Steve having sex with a girl in the supply closet]

Dalton: Yo, Steve! You're history.

Steve: But I'm on my break!

Dalton: Stay on it.

Steve: Ah, shit!

Doc: Is this the part where you tell me what a great guy your friend is?

Wade Garrett: Not hardly. This is the part where I tell you I want you for myself.

Doc: [laughs]

Dalton: Oh, yo. Whatever he's saying, you can be fairly sure it's a lie.

Wade Garrett: [giving Dalton a look and her a longer look] Don't bet on it.

Wade Garrett: You got a skinny little runt named Dalton working here?

Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.

Bar guy: Whaddaya say we get nipple to nipple?

Denise: [eying her own ample cleavage] I can do that without you!

Doc: You know, for that line of work I thought you'd be bigger.

Dalton: Gee, I've never heard that before.

Frank Tilghman: I need the best.

Dalton: Wade Garrett's the best

Frank Tilghman: Wade Garrett's getting old.

Dalton: He's still the best!

Mountain: You wanna fight, dickless?

Wade Garrett: Well, I sure ain't gonna show you my dick.

Dalton: My way... or the highway.

Dalton: [after interrupting Denise's unsolicited striptease] If you're gonna have a pet, keep it on a leash.

Carrie: Who is that guy?

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Ladies and gentlemen... Wade Garrett.

Hank: Holy shit!

Wade Garrett: Exactly right.

Jimmy: Damn, boy. I thought you were good.

Dalton: Go fuck yourself.

Dalton: You got quite a little enterprise going here.

Pat McGurn: What?

Dalton: You're going through a bottle every 30 minutes, you're skimming the till for 6 shots a bottle. On drafts, 1 every 10.

Dalton: [to Tilghman] I figure he's costing you about 150 a night.

Pat McGurn: [smiles at Dalton] So?

Dalton: So consider it severance pay. TAKE THE TRAIN.

Pat McGurn: [to Tilghman] I didn't hear you say that.

Frank Tilghman: Well, I'm sayin' it now.

Pat McGurn: You sure?

Frank Tilghman: GET OUT.

Morgan: You know, I heard you had balls big enough to come in a dump truck, but you don't look like much to me.

Dalton: Opinions vary.

Emmett: Calling me sir is like putting an elevator in an outhouse. It don't belong.

Jimmy: Prepare to die.

Dalton: You are such an asshole.

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Man, this toilet is worse than the one that we worked in Dayton.

Dalton: Really?

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Oh man, it's a mean scene around here, man. There's blood on the floor of this joint every night.

Emmett: I swear he does that just to piss me off!

Dalton: Who does?

Emmett: Brad Wesley!

Frank Tilghman: [after he, Red, Emmett, and Stoudenmire shoot Wesley dead] This is our town... And don't you ever forget it.

Frank Tilghman: I got your plane ticket right here.

Dalton: I don't fly... too dangerous.

Frank Tilghman: It's a good night. Nobody died.

Dalton: It'll get worse before it gets better.

Morgan: Mind your own business, Dad!

Brad Wesley: Elvis! Play something with balls!

Dalton: Problem?

Pat McGurn: There's no problem. Just a little mistake, that's all.

Dalton: What's that?

Pat McGurn: My job. You don't get it, do you?

Dalton: Why don't you explain it to me?

Tinker: [ready to fight] I'LL EXPLAIN IT TO YOU.

O'Connor: [to Tinker] Hey, shut up, shithead.

[to Dalton]

O'Connor: Mr. Tilghman's changed his mind. And that's all you need to know, son.

Dalton: No, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to know a little bit more than that.

O'Connor: Mr. Tilghman may own this bar, but the liquor he serves is supplied to him by BRAD WESLEY. Now, Pat McGurn is in the employ of Mr Wesley, his uncle. Not Mr Tilghman.

Pat McGurn: You see, I'm stayin', and YOU'RE GOIN'.

Dalton: Oh, really?

Brad Wesley: [sees Dalton looking at a man's picture] My grandfather.

Dalton: Looks like an important man.

Brad Wesley: He was an asshole. But *you*, you're a smart boy, aren't you, Dalton? You're just not too realistic. Christ, I'm just like you. I came up the hard way, from the streets of Chicago. You know, when I came to this town after Korea there was nothing. I brought the mall here. I got the 7-Eleven. I got the Fotomat here. Christ, JC Penney is coming here because of me. You ask anybody, they'll tell you.

Dalton: You've gotten rich off of the people in this town.

Brad Wesley: [laughs] You bet your ass I have. And I'm gonna get richer. I believe we all have a purpose on this earth. A destiny. I have a faith in that destiny. It tells me to gather unto me what is mine. But, Christ, you get paid for beating people up. Tell me you don't love it. Of course you do. You wouldn't be human if you didn't.

Brad Wesley: Dalton, I have a cousin in Memphis. Tells me you killed a man down there. Tells me you said it was self-defense at the trial. But you and I know that isn't so, don't we?

Brad Wesley: [Dalton stands up and starts to get mad] Relax. Relax. Tell me, if I owned a bar and I wanted to clean it up, how much would it take to get you to come work for me?

Dalton: [defiantly] There's no amount of money.

Doc: What the hell is wrong with you, Brad? Have you lost your mind?

Brad Wesley: [on Dalton] He's a drifter, you know. To see you wind up with someone like that, it's a shame.

Doc: This has nothing to do with him.

Brad Wesley: Well, you get him out of here, Elizabeth. 'cause if you don't, he's going down. And I'm not gonna lose a second's sleep about it.

Morgan: [pointing angrily at Dalton] If you're not drinking, YOU'RE outta here!

Carrie: [to Dalton] Hey, don't let him bother you. Morgan was born an asshole and just grew bigger.

[introduces herself]

Carrie: I'm Carrie Ann. If you need anything...

[taps him on the shoulder]

Carrie: ANYTHING, you just let me know.

[Dalton nods]

Carrie: You got a name?

Dalton: Yeah.

Carrie: Well, what is it?

Dalton: Dalton.

Carrie: [laughing] Oh my God! Shit! I've heard of you!

Pat McGurn: [raps bar] Carrie Ann! What're you waiting for? Christmas? MOVE!

Carrie: [muttering] Ah shut up. I'm going. Jesus Christ.

Brad Wesley: [Red's place has burned down] Well, with a fire like that, nothin' they could do. Nothin'.

[to Ernie, the bartender]

Brad Wesley: Jack Daniel's.

[Ernie looks at Dalton and Dalton gives him the okay]

Brad Wesley: .

Brad Wesley: [to Dalton] Thank you. It's like a morgue in here.

[to Cody]

Brad Wesley: Play something, Elvis. Get those firemen in here. I wanna buy them a drink. They risked their lives to save a no-good-faggot-draft-dodger like Red Webster.

Wade Garrett: [to Dalton after the fight with Wesley's men] Same town, new story, huh, pal? Let's get a beer.

Dalton: You play pretty good for a blind boy.

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: And I thought you'd be bigger.

Brad Wesley: [after seeing Pat with a broken nose] Did I explain it wrong? Is that it?

O'Connor: No, boss, you didn't.

Brad Wesley: Pat's got a weak constitution. You boys know that. That's why he's working as a bartender. He's my only sister's son. And if he doesn't have me, who's he got? And if I'm not there, you're there.

[to Jimmy]

Brad Wesley: I should've let you go, Jimmy.

Brad Wesley: [to Tinker and O'Connor] Well, one of you boys owes me an apology. Now I leave it up to you to decide which one of you wants to say "I'm sorry."

Tinker: [takes off his hat] I'm sorry, boss.

O'Connor: I'm sorry, boss.

Brad Wesley: I believe you, Tinker.

[walks over to O'Connor]

Brad Wesley: But you, O'Connor, somehow I don't believe you. Now you better try it again. 'cause if there's one thing I can't stand, it's a man who's untruthful.

O'Connor: I'm sorry, boss.

Brad Wesley: If there's one thing that disgusts me, it's a man who can't admit when he's wrong.

O'Connor: I swear to God, boss, I'm sorry.

Brad Wesley: You disgust me, O'Connor. You wanna know why you disgust me?

O'Connor: No, why, boss?

Brad Wesley: [punches him] 'cause you're a bleeder. You bleed too much. You are a messy bleeder.

[kicks him in the groin]

Brad Wesley: You're weak. You got no endurance for PAIN

[karate chops him and knocks him down]

Brad Wesley: . Awe, come on, get up. Hey, you'll be fine. Come on.

[to his men]

Brad Wesley: Well, help him up!

Brad Wesley: [Wesley's men stand him up] You're gonna be fine. And you know why? Because I like you.

[punches and knocks him out]

Brad Wesley: [to his men] Get this piece-of-shit coward out of here.

Dalton: I better take you home. I keep talking, you're gonna go on thinking I'm a nice guy.

Doc: I know you're not a nice guy.

Frank Tilghman: [to the Double Deuce staff] Well, it was a good night. Nobody died.

Dalton: It'll get worse before it gets better.

Brad Wesley: [a big brawl has just started] Can somebody get a drink around here?

Brad Wesley: Stroudenmire, I never thought you'd turn on me too. This is my town. Don't you forget it.

Dalton: [after he pulls Emmett out of his burning house, and lands on top of him] Emmett, you alright?

Emmett: I'll be just fine... If you get offa me.

Doc: [confronting Dalton] You're going to save these people from Wesley? Well, who's gonna save them from you?

Carrie: What did you do there last night?

Dalton: What do you mean?

Carrie: You fired the bartender, Pat.

Dalton: He was skimming.

Carrie: You should not have done that, Dalton.

Dalton: Yeah, why's that?

Carrie: You just shouldn't have, that's all.

Carrie: [hands him food] Here you go. Breakfast.

Dalton: Oh, thank you.

Carrie: [starts to giggle] Oh, my God.

Dalton: What is the joke?

Carrie: Well, there's no joke. I just think I'm lookin' at a dead man, though.

Dalton: It seems everywhere I go, I hear that same joke.

Carrie: Yeah? Well, something tells me you bring it on yourself.

[repeated line]

Frank Tilghman: I thought you'd be bigger.

Morgan: [after socking a bar patron in the stomach and throwing him across the room into a table full of customers] Get him outta here, now!

[Points a finger in Dalton's face]

Morgan: If you're not drinking, you're outta here!

Red Webster: [to Stoudenmire after Wesley's goons destroy his Ford Dealership] You got insurance, don't you?

Wade Garrett: [punches Mountain in the groin and then cracks his knee] God damn that hurts doesn't it?

Morgan: This Dalton character, what's his story?

Cody, Band Singer at Double Deuce: Story is... you fuck with him and he'll seal your fate.

Morgan: Yeah, so far he hasn't shown me shit!

[first lines]

Bouncer Checking IDs: [to Frank Tilghman, as he enters the Bandstand] Go ahead, sir.

Jimmy: Dig a hole.

[observing while at night Dalton and Doc leaving the Double Deuce Club]