Podcast 77: Tango and Cash

September 8, 2022 Jon S Movies, Podcasting 01:37:52139MB 0 Comments
Tango and Cash Stallone Russell

The 3 Guys Podcast

Recorded on 9/1/2022

Two of L.A.’s top rival cops are going to have to work together… Even if it kills them. In this podcast, we review the Classic 80s Action flick Tango and Cash starring Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Jack Palance, Teri Hatcher and directed by Andrei Konchalovsky. WARNING: There will be SPOILERS!

The 3 Guys Rating

3.4/5

Notes From The Show

  • Quick Synopsis

  • Released: December 22, 1989

    Directed By: Andrei Konchalovsky

    Screen Play By: Randy Feldman

    Stars:  Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Jack Palance, Teri Hatcher and a bunch of other actors

    Plot: Framed by their ruthless arch-nemesis, a mismatched LAPD crime-fighting duo has to put its differences aside to even the score with the evil kingpin who put them behind bars once and for all.

    Tagline: Two of L.A.’s top rival cops are going to have to work together… Even if it kills them.

    How did this movie do?
    Budget: $54 Million
    Box Office: $120 Million

  • Action Cuts

    • Body count: 20 (Tango=11, Cash=5)
    • Top One-Liners
      • Ray Tango: Rambo? Rambo’s a pussy.
      • Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.
      • Gabriel Cash: Lucky for me this place is soundproof. That way nobody gets to hear me beating the truth out of you.
      • Ray Tango: Genetics, peewee.
      • Gabriel Cash: I don’t know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R…
      • Ray Tango: My contribution to birth control.
      • Gabriel Cash: I don’t know. But it’s not raining and he’s standing in a puddle.
      • Gabriel Cash: Well, if it isn’t Armani with a badge.
      • Ray Tango: [speaking to Face behind bars] I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.
      • Gabriel Cash: You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!

  • 80's Checklist

    1. A “Muy Macho” Hero with quotable one-liners played by a recognizable star – We get the 2 for the price of one…Tango (Stallone) AND Cash (Russell)
    2. Over the Top Villain – Jack Palace (Yves Perret)
    3. A Montage Sequence – Nope
    4. Over the Top Chase Scenes – RV From Hell & On Foot
    5. Epic Fight Scenes – Many
    6. A Villain Speech/Monologue – Yes
    7. A Final Showdown – Yes
    8. An “Oh Crap” Death for our Bad Guy – 2 Shots to the Head
    9. Franchise Potential – Could have been
    10. Around a 90 minute runtime –
    11. A High Body Count – 104
    12. A Cool Ride: The RV from Hell (built from a 1988 Chevrolet K2500 truck)

  • Casting

    • Patrick Swayze was originally cast as Cash, but he dropped out to star in Road House (1989).
    • Michael Biehn, Pierce Brosnan, Kevin Costner, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Don Johnson, Michael Keaton, Ray Liotta, Liam Neeson, Michael Nouri, Gary Oldman, Robert Patrick, Bill Paxton, Ron Perlman, Dennis Quaid, Gary Sinise, Bruce Willis, and James Woods were considered to play Gabriel Cash.

  • Trivia

    • When Brion James was originally hired to play Requin, it was a very small role with only two lines. In an effort to give the character something that would make him stand out, James decided to speak in a horrible “cockney” accent. Sylvester Stallone loved it, and re-wrote the script to give Requin a much bigger role. The same thing happened with Face, played by Robert Z’Dar, who was originally not meant to appear after the opening scene but Sylvester Stallone and Andrey Konchalovskiy took a liking to Z’Dar and thought his appearance was so striking he deserved a larger role in the film.

    • The production was beset with problems from the start. The intended star, Patrick Swayze, dropped out. Principal photography began without a completed script. Sylvester Stallone had the original director of photography, Barry Sonnenfeld, fired. Then, Jon Peters fired Andrey Konchalovskiy. The film ultimately went $20 million over budget, and had to be completely re-edited by Stuart Baird prior to release.

    • Director Andrey Konchalovskiy was replaced toward the end of principal photography by Albert Magnoli. In his book of memoirs, Konchalovsky says that the reason he was fired was because he wanted to give the film a more serious tone than the producers wanted and, as such, his relationship with producer Jon Peters became untenable. Konchalovsky, however, has nothing but praise for Sylvester Stallone, who he states was a constant voice of reason on the set.

    • The scene where Tango faces an oncoming truck with nothing but a gun was borrowed from Police Story (1985), where Jackie Chan performed the stunt. As a “response”, Chan would later reference the make shift zip-line prison escape moment in this film in a scene early in the third installment of the Police Story series, Supercop (1992).

    • The glasses Sylvester Stallone wears early in the film are his own, not props. He usually wears contact lenses in his films. The lenses show that he is very near-sighted in one eye, less so in the other. Plus, he has astigmatism.

    • Kurt Russell was originally considered and offered the role of Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon (1987), but he turned it down, and it went to Mel Gibson, with whom he worked on Tequila Sunrise (1988). His character in this film is loosely based on Riggs.

    • While filming the scene in which the back of the SUV catches fire, the flames would not go out when filming was over. Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone were caught in a cross draft. Stallone was so close to the fire that his hair was singed in places.

    • The climactic battle in the quarry was shot in a real quarry in Irwindale, California, east of Los Angeles. Every shot in the sequence was filmed by a minimum of eleven cameras, and some of the set-ups were so dangerous, the stunt team was only allowed to do them once.

    • Years later, Sylvester Stallone offered the role of “Mr. Church” to Kurt Russell in The Expendables (2010). Russell declined the role, which was then accepted by Bruce Willis.

    • This was one of the first American movies to get a wide release in Soviet bloc countries after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Bootleg VHS tapes became hot sellers in Russia. Brion James once claimed he never felt more like a celebrity than when he was swarmed by crowds of people in Ukraine who recognized him as one of the movie’s villains.

    • The theatrical trailer shows some alternate and deleted scenes; alternate cut of the shower scene between Tango and Cash, deleted or alternate fight scene between Cash and the Chinese assassin during which Cash says “I hate you karate guys”, and a deleted scene in which Tango is reading the newspapers and then pulling out a Spas 12 shotgun at someone and shooting at some car with it.

    • Shortly after this film was released, a very potent batch of heroin was sold in The Bronx, New York. “Tango & Cash” was stamped on the bags. So many users overdosed, some fatally, that the NYPD drove around neighborhoods using loudspeakers to tell people not to use that particular batch of heroin. This was reported on all the flagship network TV stations there as well.

    • One of the monster trucks at the quarry scene towards the end is the famous Bigfoot truck. Although it’s painted different colors than its trademark blue color, and does not feature any Bigfoot decals, it was confirmed that it is in fact Bigfoot by owner of the original monster truck Bob Chandler.

    • The sound effect used for Tango and Cash’s truck in the quarry is the same as Luke Skywalker’s landspeeder in Star Wars (1977).

    • Jeffrey Boam, who worked on the scripts for two of the Lethal Weapon films, was one of the writers who did a re-write of the script during the movie’s troubled production. But, because he either didn’t like the draft he wrote, or the film, he refused to be credited.

    • Tango’s call sign by the dispatch is 20 William 12. The same call sign used by Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon (1987).

    • Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell later co-starred in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017), although they do not share screen time together.

    • This was the final film of the 1980’s to go in theaters.

    • When Tango and Cash escape from the prison, Cash turns to Tango and asks if he stopped “for coffee and a Danish.” Tango says, “I hate Danish,” an in-joke referring to Sylvester Stallone’s recent divorce from Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen.

Released: December 22, 1989

Directed By: Andrei Konchalovsky

Screen Play By: Randy Feldman

Stars:  Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Jack Palance, Teri Hatcher and a bunch of other actors

Plot: Framed by their ruthless arch-nemesis, a mismatched LAPD crime-fighting duo has to put its differences aside to even the score with the evil kingpin who put them behind bars once and for all.

Tagline: Two of L.A.’s top rival cops are going to have to work together… Even if it kills them.

How did this movie do?
Budget: $54 Million
Box Office: $120 Million

  • Body count: 20 (Tango=11, Cash=5)
  • Top One-Liners
    • Ray Tango: Rambo? Rambo’s a pussy.
    • Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.
    • Gabriel Cash: Lucky for me this place is soundproof. That way nobody gets to hear me beating the truth out of you.
    • Ray Tango: Genetics, peewee.
    • Gabriel Cash: I don’t know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R…
    • Ray Tango: My contribution to birth control.
    • Gabriel Cash: I don’t know. But it’s not raining and he’s standing in a puddle.
    • Gabriel Cash: Well, if it isn’t Armani with a badge.
    • Ray Tango: [speaking to Face behind bars] I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.
    • Gabriel Cash: You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!
  1. A “Muy Macho” Hero with quotable one-liners played by a recognizable star – We get the 2 for the price of one…Tango (Stallone) AND Cash (Russell)
  2. Over the Top Villain – Jack Palace (Yves Perret)
  3. A Montage Sequence – Nope
  4. Over the Top Chase Scenes – RV From Hell & On Foot
  5. Epic Fight Scenes – Many
  6. A Villain Speech/Monologue – Yes
  7. A Final Showdown – Yes
  8. An “Oh Crap” Death for our Bad Guy – 2 Shots to the Head
  9. Franchise Potential – Could have been
  10. Around a 90 minute runtime –
  11. A High Body Count – 104
  12. A Cool Ride: The RV from Hell (built from a 1988 Chevrolet K2500 truck)
  • Patrick Swayze was originally cast as Cash, but he dropped out to star in Road House (1989).
  • Michael Biehn, Pierce Brosnan, Kevin Costner, Harrison Ford, Richard Gere, Mel Gibson, Don Johnson, Michael Keaton, Ray Liotta, Liam Neeson, Michael Nouri, Gary Oldman, Robert Patrick, Bill Paxton, Ron Perlman, Dennis Quaid, Gary Sinise, Bruce Willis, and James Woods were considered to play Gabriel Cash.
  • When Brion James was originally hired to play Requin, it was a very small role with only two lines. In an effort to give the character something that would make him stand out, James decided to speak in a horrible “cockney” accent. Sylvester Stallone loved it, and re-wrote the script to give Requin a much bigger role. The same thing happened with Face, played by Robert Z’Dar, who was originally not meant to appear after the opening scene but Sylvester Stallone and Andrey Konchalovskiy took a liking to Z’Dar and thought his appearance was so striking he deserved a larger role in the film.

  • The production was beset with problems from the start. The intended star, Patrick Swayze, dropped out. Principal photography began without a completed script. Sylvester Stallone had the original director of photography, Barry Sonnenfeld, fired. Then, Jon Peters fired Andrey Konchalovskiy. The film ultimately went $20 million over budget, and had to be completely re-edited by Stuart Baird prior to release.

  • Director Andrey Konchalovskiy was replaced toward the end of principal photography by Albert Magnoli. In his book of memoirs, Konchalovsky says that the reason he was fired was because he wanted to give the film a more serious tone than the producers wanted and, as such, his relationship with producer Jon Peters became untenable. Konchalovsky, however, has nothing but praise for Sylvester Stallone, who he states was a constant voice of reason on the set.

  • The scene where Tango faces an oncoming truck with nothing but a gun was borrowed from Police Story (1985), where Jackie Chan performed the stunt. As a “response”, Chan would later reference the make shift zip-line prison escape moment in this film in a scene early in the third installment of the Police Story series, Supercop (1992).

  • The glasses Sylvester Stallone wears early in the film are his own, not props. He usually wears contact lenses in his films. The lenses show that he is very near-sighted in one eye, less so in the other. Plus, he has astigmatism.

  • Kurt Russell was originally considered and offered the role of Martin Riggs in Lethal Weapon (1987), but he turned it down, and it went to Mel Gibson, with whom he worked on Tequila Sunrise (1988). His character in this film is loosely based on Riggs.

  • While filming the scene in which the back of the SUV catches fire, the flames would not go out when filming was over. Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone were caught in a cross draft. Stallone was so close to the fire that his hair was singed in places.

  • The climactic battle in the quarry was shot in a real quarry in Irwindale, California, east of Los Angeles. Every shot in the sequence was filmed by a minimum of eleven cameras, and some of the set-ups were so dangerous, the stunt team was only allowed to do them once.

  • Years later, Sylvester Stallone offered the role of “Mr. Church” to Kurt Russell in The Expendables (2010). Russell declined the role, which was then accepted by Bruce Willis.

  • This was one of the first American movies to get a wide release in Soviet bloc countries after the fall of the Berlin Wall. Bootleg VHS tapes became hot sellers in Russia. Brion James once claimed he never felt more like a celebrity than when he was swarmed by crowds of people in Ukraine who recognized him as one of the movie’s villains.

  • The theatrical trailer shows some alternate and deleted scenes; alternate cut of the shower scene between Tango and Cash, deleted or alternate fight scene between Cash and the Chinese assassin during which Cash says “I hate you karate guys”, and a deleted scene in which Tango is reading the newspapers and then pulling out a Spas 12 shotgun at someone and shooting at some car with it.

  • Shortly after this film was released, a very potent batch of heroin was sold in The Bronx, New York. “Tango & Cash” was stamped on the bags. So many users overdosed, some fatally, that the NYPD drove around neighborhoods using loudspeakers to tell people not to use that particular batch of heroin. This was reported on all the flagship network TV stations there as well.

  • One of the monster trucks at the quarry scene towards the end is the famous Bigfoot truck. Although it’s painted different colors than its trademark blue color, and does not feature any Bigfoot decals, it was confirmed that it is in fact Bigfoot by owner of the original monster truck Bob Chandler.

  • The sound effect used for Tango and Cash’s truck in the quarry is the same as Luke Skywalker’s landspeeder in Star Wars (1977).

  • Jeffrey Boam, who worked on the scripts for two of the Lethal Weapon films, was one of the writers who did a re-write of the script during the movie’s troubled production. But, because he either didn’t like the draft he wrote, or the film, he refused to be credited.

  • Tango’s call sign by the dispatch is 20 William 12. The same call sign used by Martin Riggs and Roger Murtaugh in Lethal Weapon (1987).

  • Sylvester Stallone and Kurt Russell later co-starred in Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 (2017), although they do not share screen time together.

  • This was the final film of the 1980’s to go in theaters.

  • When Tango and Cash escape from the prison, Cash turns to Tango and asks if he stopped “for coffee and a Danish.” Tango says, “I hate Danish,” an in-joke referring to Sylvester Stallone’s recent divorce from Danish actress Brigitte Nielsen.

About The Movie From IMDB

Tango & Cash | December 22, 1989 (United States) 6.4
Director: Andrey Konchalovskiy, Albert MagnoliWriter: Randy FeldmanStars: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri HatcherSummary:

Photos


See all photos >>

Videos


See all videos >>

Cast

Sylvester Stallone
...
Tango
Kurt Russell
...
Cash
Teri Hatcher
...
Kiki
Jack Palance
...
Yves Perret
Brion James
...
Courier
James Hong
...
Quan
Marc Alaimo
...
Lopez
Philip Tan
...
Gunman
Michael J. Pollard
...
Owen
Robert Z'Dar
...
Face
Lewis Arquette
...
Wyler
Edward Bunker
...
Capt. Holmes
Leslie Morris
...
Hendricks
Roy Brocksmith
...
Fed. Agent Davis
Susan Krebs
...
Prosecutor
David Byrd
...
Judge
Richard Fancy
...
Nolan
Jerry Martinez
...
Santos

See full cast >>
Countries: United StatesLanguages: EnglishBudget: $55,000,000 (estimated)
Source: imdb.com
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Note: All images are property of their respected owners and used for editorial purposes.

6.4
Tango & Cash | December 22, 1989 (United States)
Director: Andrey Konchalovskiy, Albert MagnoliWriter: Randy FeldmanStars: Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher
Summary:
Countries: United StatesLanguages: English
Source: imdb.comDisclaimer: This plugin has been coded to automatically quote data from imdb.com. Not available for any other purpose. All showing data have a link to imdb.com. The user is responsible for any other use or change codes.

Quotes

Ray Tango: Rambo? Rambo's a pussy.

Gabriel Cash: You wanna cut my throat, go ahead. You wanna cut my fuckin' head off and use it for a fuckin' basketball? You can *bowl* with the motherfucker for all I care! Just don't let HIM do it! I don't wanna get killed by this limey, immigrant JERKOFF! I wanna get killed by an AMERICAN jerkoff!

Requin: [English accent] You fucking wanker!

Captain Schroeder: If you really wanted to stare death in the eye, you shoulda gotten married.

Ray Tango: [laughs] Is that a proposal?

Gabriel Cash: Lucky for me this place is soundproof. That way nobody gets to hear me beating the truth out of you.

[Tango grabs a hefty submachine gun and hands Cash a pistol]

Ray Tango: Here.

Gabriel Cash: Aw, c'mon, how come yours is bigger than mine?

Ray Tango: Genetics, peewee.

Ray Tango: When this is over, we have to pay Jabba the Hutt here a visit.

Gabriel Cash: I'll bring the chainsaw.

Ray Tango: I'll bring the beer.

Gabriel Cash: I don't know about you, but I have an aversion to getting F.U.B.A.R...

Ray Tango: What's F.U.B.A.R.?

Gabriel Cash: Fucked-Up Beyond All Recognition.

Assistant Warden Matt Sokowski: What's widdya friend?

Gabriel Cash: He's a little upset. He misses his wardrobe.

[then as they leave the room]

Ray Tango: I DO miss my wardrobe.

Gabriel Cash: You know, it's a free country, Tango.

Ray Tango: Yeah.

Gabriel Cash: And people are free to do whatever they want.

Ray Tango: So?

Gabriel Cash: Well, your sister is very, very free.

Ray Tango: I'm going to kill you.

[Tango has just stuck a grenade down a bad guy's pants]

Ray Tango: My contribution to birth control.

Gabriel Cash: You're getting a little radical here, don't you think?

Ray Tango: What's radical?

Gabriel Cash: Blowing a man's head off with a fucking hand grenade is a touch much, don't you think?

Ray Tango: You got your way, I got mine. You know, I'm kind of glad you didn't want to talk, Requin...

Gabriel Cash: You know what? I'll just shoot him in the goddamn leg, he'll talk!

Ray Tango: I don't want the leg, I want the whole package!

Gabriel Cash: Maybe he doesn't know anything, okay?

Ray Tango: I don't really care!

[Tango just bursts through screen door and lands on his captain]

Ray Tango: Captain?

Captain Schroeder: Is this the way you screen all your guests?

Ray Tango: Do you think he's telling the truth?

Gabriel Cash: I don't know. But it's not raining and he's standing in a puddle.

Ray Tango: Disgusting.

Owen: Your Honor, the defendants wish to change their plea.

[Crowd is stunned. Judge McCormick bangs his gavel]

Judge McCormick: Order! Very well, Counselor. What is the plea?

Ray Tango: Your Honor, may I approach the bench, please?

Judge McCormick: Proceed, Mr. Tango.

Ray Tango: [Gets up, looks at Owen] It's okay.

[Tango approaches the bench]

Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years, and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times, I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the streets. Well, if that's a sin, then I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops. They are... doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such, that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.

[Tango returns to his seat]

Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add, Mr. Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [Nods] Yeah.

Ray Tango: [Grabs Cash's arm] No!

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No-no.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

[Cash gets up]

Gabriel Cash: Mr. Tango has, uh, spoken very eloquently. I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't, because... this whole thing... fucking sucks! I mean, this is the biggest pile of shit I've ever...

[Crowd applauses]

Judge McCormick: Order! Order!

Interpreter: Detective Cash assaulted me. He put a chair on my chest and sat on it.

Gabriel Cash: [Tango looks at Cash, surprised] I couldn't find a piano.

[after Requin breaks down and confesses]

Gabriel Cash: You know, Potato Head, you just fell for the oldest routine in the book: bad cop...

Ray Tango: Worse cop!

Gabriel Cash: When this is over, remind me to rip Jumbo there's tongue out.

Ray Tango: With a tow truck.

[watching TV footage of Tango in action]

Yves Perret: Oh, God. Ray Tango. How he loves to dance. He waltzes in and takes all my drugs, then tangos back out again.

Yves Perret: Ah, the infamous Cash and Tango. Dishonored. Imprisoned. Such a shameful fall from glory.

Ray Tango: And who are you?

Yves Perret: Just think of me as somebody who doesn't like you very much.

Yves Perret: Quicker... and easier. Yes, quick and easy is how you make a cake. Or clean a toilet bowl, or shop... by mail. But quicker and easier is not how you run a multi-million dollar business such as ours.

Yves Perret: When the one Great Scorer comes to write against your name, he'll mark... not that you won or lost... but how you played the game. What bullshit!

Ray Tango: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Gabriel Cash: Relax. Soap. And don't flatter yourself... Peewee.

Ray Tango: Your Honor, I have been a policeman for 12 years and I think it's the best organization in the country. At times I've been accused of being too aggressive at taking criminals off the street. Well, if that's a sin, I guess I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops.

[to fellow officers]

Ray Tango: You are. Doing a tough job. And I only hope that the outcome of this trial is such that the whole department is not judged by what has transpired here. Thank you.

Judge McCormick: Do you have anything to add Mr. Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [snickers] Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: Oh, yeah.

Ray Tango: No no.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah.

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: [stands up to address the judge] Mr. Tango has spoken very eloquently and I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't because this whole thing... FUCKING SUCKS.

Gabriel Cash: You don't know anything about electricity, do you?

Ray Tango: No.

Gabriel Cash: As long as you're only touching one wire and you're not touching the ground, you don't get electrocuted.

[Thinks about it for a moment]

Gabriel Cash: Um, right?

Ray Tango: I don't know.

Gabriel Cash: I don't either.

Yves Perret: Rats in a maze, men in a cage.

Gabriel Cash: This has got to be a mistake. What do you think?

Ray Tango: I think my underwear is riding into my throat.

Ray Tango: I think that with your IQ, you're unarmed and still VERY dangerous.

[Looking at a picture of Ray Tango in the paper]

Gabriel Cash: Well, if it isn't Armani with a badge.

Ray Tango: Why just use your Plan A?

Gabriel Cash: Because it's a hell of a lot better than your Plan B, which you don't even have.

Ray Tango: Pleasure doing time with ya.

Gabriel Cash: Yeah, I'll never forget that time in the shower.

[walking to the showers in prison naked]

Gabriel Cash: Nice to see your underwear problem is solved.

Ray Tango: I noticed. And Cash? You can stop holding your stomach.

Yves Perret: Oh, I've had enough of this. Too much television... can hurt your eyes.

[Requin is holding Cash at gunpoint, when Tango appears behind him]

Ray Tango: [English accent] Shame, shame! Don't you know ponytails are out this season? How you doin', Cash?

Gabriel Cash: [disarms Requin] Oh, things are just getting better by the second.

Ray Tango: There's a party up on the roof.

Gabriel Cash: Can I invite Mr. Potato Head here?

Ray Tango: Sure! Wouldn't be a party without Potato Head.

Ray Tango: [speaking to Face behind bars] I loved you in Conan the Barbarian.

Car owner: I believe in Perestroijka.

Gabriel Cash: Welcome to America.

Gabriel Cash: This is the tape that's gonna clear our names, courtesy of our friend Jumbo the Forgerer. What do you got?

Ray Tango: I got a quarter of four.

[Conan arrives to the laundry full of vengeful prisoners]

Ray Tango: Oh shit, it's Conan.

Gabriel Cash: What?

Ray Tango: It's Conan.

Gabriel Cash: We're gonna get F.U.B.A.R now.

Ray Tango: What the hell is F.U.B.A.R?

Gabriel Cash: You'll see.

Face: Real bad ass cops. You don't look so tough now, do you? DO YOU, YOU FUCK?

Ray Tango: [to Cash] He must mean you.

Face: Out on the streets, this pig and his cop friends, broke my ribs, my leg and my jaw.

[tsks at Tango]

Gabriel Cash: You broke that jaw?

Ray Tango: He deserved it.

Gabriel Cash: No, no, wait! I got it! It's Lopez!

Yves Perret: There you go thinking again. That will be the cause of your downfall. Try... try to control your fear. These men are convicted killers and fugitives. They won't last long on the outside.

Lopez: Mr. Perret, we cannot rely on the police. I insist...

Yves Perret: Don't insist! Insistent people make me angry. Everything is under control.

[Slams remote]

Yves Perret: [to Requin] Cover your tracks.

Slinky: I'm not afraid of you. See that? I killed him.

Ray Tango: Congratulations.

Slinky: He was my best friend.

[Ray Tango looks up bewildered]

Slinky: Crazy people aren't afraid of anybody.

[Tango's just stopped a truck and its occupants are now rolling sore on the road]

Ray Tango: Glad you could drop in. Do you like jewelery?

[presenting cuffs]

Face: Oh, fuck you.

Ray Tango: I prefer blondes.

[Conan spits on Tango's shoes]

Ray Tango: [tossing cuffs onto the ground] Do the honors.

Owen: [unable to see the chaos outside the car] Cash what was that noise?

Gabriel Cash: Don't worry Owen, just a couple speed bumps.

[dangling Requin off a roof by his legs]

Gabriel Cash: Come on, you meat puppet! Who pulls your strings?

Requin: Piss off! Bollocks to Plan A! I like this! The view's great up here! Heh, heh!

Gabriel Cash: What'd he say?

Ray Tango: Plan "A"'s a loser.

Gabriel Cash: Hold on. Give me a name, Death-Breath, or you're going back to fucking England in a fucking baggie!

Requin: Up yours, arsehole! You ain't worth a toss! Go on, drop me! Do it!

Gabriel Cash: Plan "A" is definitely a loser.

Gabriel Cash: You want my vote for the Psycho Hall of Fame, asshole? You got it!

Gabriel Cash: [pointing gun to Tango] Freeze! Drop the duck!

Ray Tango: I gotta go. I don't wanna put you in jeopardy.

Katherine 'Kiki' Tango: What are you talking about?

Ray Tango: I'm talking about all that filth and scum I have to deal with out there.

Gabriel Cash: Here I am!

Ray Tango: See what I mean?

[first lines]

Ray Tango: [voiceover] Okay. Let's do it.

[last lines]

Katherine 'Kiki' Tango: Why don't you just admit it that you guys work well together?

Gabriel Cash: [scoffs] Oh, yeah. Well, no matter what you say, Ray, I've at least earned the right to date your sister.

Ray Tango: [laughs] Oh, over my dead body.

Gabriel Cash: Deal?

[Cash and Tango laugh and then high-five]

Gabriel Cash: I've got good news and bad news.

Ray Tango: What's the bad news?

Gabriel Cash: We're almost out of gas.

Ray Tango: What's the good news?

Gabriel Cash: We're ALMOST out of gas.

Gabriel Cash: I don't think there's a golf course.

Gabriel Cash: We're gonna get FUBAR now.

Ray Tango: What the hell is FUBAR?

Gabriel Cash: You'll see.

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