Podcast 76: Big Trouble in Little China

September 1, 2022 Jon S Movies, Podcasting 01:34:53135MB 0 Comments
Big Trouble in Little China

The 3 Guys Podcast

Recorded on 8/25/2022

They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going! In this podcast, we review the Classic 80s Action flick Big Trouble in Little China starring Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James and directed by John Carpenter. WARNING: There will be SPOILERS!

The 3 Guys Rating

3.5/5

Notes From The Show

  • Quick Synopsis

  • Released: July 2, 1986

    Directed By:   John Carpenter

    Originally Written By:  Gary Goldman & David Z. Weinstein

    Adapted By: D. Richter

    Music By:  John Carpenter & Alan Howarth

    Stars:   Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong and a bunch of other actors.

    Plot:  A rough-and-tumble trucker and his side kick face off with an ancient sorcerer in a supernatural battle beneath Chinatown.

    Taglines:

    • Adventure doesn’t come any bigger!
    • They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going!

    How did this movie do?
    Budget: $25 Million
    Box Office: $11 Million

  • Action Cuts

    • Body count: 106
      • Lightning – 20 (Deceased)
      • Thunder – 19 (Deceased)
      • Rain – 19 (Deceased)
      • Egg Shen – 14 (Alive)
      • Jack Burton – 8 (Alive)
      • Wang Chi – 5 (Alive
    • Top One-Liners:
      • When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”
      • Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”
      • Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I’m here.
      • Jack Burton: I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.
      • Jack Burton: You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
      • Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”
      • Jack Burton: Sooner or later I rub everybody the wrong way.
      • Jack Burton: [speaking to Lo Pan] Are you crazy… Is that your problem?
      • Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!
      • Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
      • Jack Burton: What, I’m supposed to buy this shit? 2,000 years and he can’t find a broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doin’ somethin’ seriously wrong.
      • Jack Burton: We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we, Wang?
      • Jack Burton: It’s all in the reflexes.
      • Jack Burton: How do you do, ma’am? Henry Swanson’s my name and excitement’s my game.
      • Jack Burton: Let’s you and me have a little talk, friend.

  • 80's Checklist

    1. A “Muy Macho” Hero with quotable one-liners played by a recognizable star – Jack Burton played by Kurt Russell
    2. Over the Top Villain – Lo Pan
    3. A Montage Sequence – Nope
    4. Over the Top Chase Scenes – Early on Chase scene from Airport
    5. Epic Fight Scenes – May over the top fight scenes
    6. A Villain Speech/Monologue – Lo Pan has a few
    7. A Final Showdown – Yes
    8. An “Oh Crap” Death for our Bad Guy – Knife to the head & Thunder’s temper tantrum
    9. Franchise Potential – Spawned a Comic & an upcoming sequel staring The Rock.
    10. Around a 90 minute runtime – 99 minutes
    11. A High Body Count – 106 Deaths
    12. A Cool Ride: The “Pork Chop Express” – is a Freightliner FLC 120.

  • Casting

    • Carpenter wanted a big star of his own and both Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson were considered but were busy.
    • Jeff Bridges was considered to play Jack Burton, since he worked with John Carpenter on Starman (1984). He was also considered for Kurt Russell’s roles in Escape from New York (1981) and The Thing (1982).
    • Jackie Chan was John Carpenter’s first choice to play Wang Chi, but producer Lawrence Gordon was highly against it, fearing Chan’s English wasn’t good enough after seeing his performances in Battle Creek Brawl (1980) and The Protector (1985), but Carpenter wanted Chan after the success of Police Story (1985). Chan declined and Dennis Dun was cast instead.

  • Trivia

    • Big Trouble was released in the midst of the hype for James Cameron’s blockbuster Aliens, which was released 16 days after. Cameron believes this is one of the big reasons Big Trouble performed so badly at the box office.

    • The Chinese characters in the main title translate to “Evil Spirits Make a Big Scene in Little Spiritual State”.

    • The Three Storms were partly the inspiration for the popular character of thunder god Raiden from Mortal Kombat fighting video game series, while David Lo Pan was the inspiration for the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung.

    • Kurt Russell suffered a bad case of the flu during the scene just after the brothel, so the sweat on his body is real, caused by the fever.

    • According to John Carpenter, the opening of the film with Egg Shen (Victor Wong) in the lawyer’s office was added in at the request of 20th Century Fox executives, in order to make Kurt Russell’s character Jack Burton more heroic (they didn’t get the idea of Jack being a sidekick rather than a hero). Without the added scene, the film would have started with Jack driving to San Francisco.

    • This was the last studio film that John Carpenter worked on at the end of the 1980s, due to various problems he experienced during the production of the film, with then studio head Lawrence Gordon, who constantly interfered with the film up until its release date. Carpenter’s two follow-ups Prince of Darkness (1987) and They Live (1988) were made independently via Alive Films, without any studio interference, and distributed by Universal Pictures.

    • This is the fourth of five movies John Carpenter and Kurt Russell have done together. Elvis (1979), Escape from New York (1981), The Thing (1982), and Escape from L.A. (1996) are the other ones.

    • For the film’s many fight scenes John Carpenter worked with martial arts choreographer James Lew, who planned every scene in detail. Carpenter stated, “I used every cheap gag – trampolines, wires, reverse movements, and upside down sets. It was much like photographing a dance.”

    • Kurt Russell turned down the lead role of Connor MacLeod in Highlander (1986) to appear in this film. Both movies were made and released by 20th Century Fox.

    • The interior of Egg Chen’s garage/office is Fire Station 23, the same building used as the business interior in Ghostbusters.

    • In the scene where Kurt Russell is attempting to infiltrate the brothel, he is wearing the same outfit that he wore in Used Cars (1980).

    • In the last scene featuring the character Lightning, the last frame of the lightning effect forms the Chinese characters for “carpenter” – a tribute to director John Carpenter. There is a still image of this in the photo gallery.

    • In the wedding scene where Lo Pan is putting the Needle of Love in Miao Yin, James Hong jabbed Suzee Pai too hard. You can see her flinch as he puts it in her.

    • The characters on the front of “Egg” Shen’s bus say, “Uncle Egg’s Tours Guarantee a Good Time”.

    • Right before the end credits when Jack Burton is driving his truck and talking on his CB Radio, he says, “You just listen to the old Pork-Chop Express here now, and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, when the lightning’s crashing, and the thunder’s rollin’, and the rain’s coming down…” paying homage to the names of the 3 Storms, Lo Pan’s bodyguards.

    • One of the more difficult effects was the floating eyeball, a spy for Lo-Pan. It was powered by several puppeteers and dozens of cables to control its facial expressions. It was shot with a matting system specially designed for it.

    • The ending song is written and sung by “The Coupe De Villes”, a band formed by John Carpenter, Nick Castle, and Tommy Lee Wallace (Second Unit Director on this picture).

    • In an early scene set at the airport, a street gang has kidnapped Wang’s fiancé and are speeding through the underground car park towards Wang and Jack, who dive out of the way just in time. Watching the scene carefully, it is easy to spot that John Carpenter shot the scene backwards, with the actors performing all movements in reverse. The scene was then played forward and sped up substantially. This dramatic scene was shot using this reverse method not to confuse actors and crew (or audience for that matter), but for safety reasons due to the speed of the vehicles and lack of stunt doubles.

    • The brides of Lo Pan must have green eyes, yet Kim Cattrall and Suzee Pai both have brown eyes. They wore green contacts for the movie. This is very obvious in the high definition version.

    • “Miao Yin” roughly translates to “cat-like”.

    • The movie was parodied in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A Chinatown Ghost Story (2014), an episode of the animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They even had James Hong provide the voice of a near carbon copy of Lo Pan named Ho Chan.

    • Peter Kwong cited his character’s long hair as one of the best parts of making the film, even though, according to him, “I had to sit in three hours of make-up every day, just to get in and out of the three thousand dollar wig.”

    • John Carpenter had seen Dennis Dun in Year of the Dragon (1985) and liked his work. He met the actor twice before casting him in the role of Wang Chi only a few days before principal photography.

    • In the prison scene, Gracie is the only prisoner kept bound and gagged in her cell. This is explained by a deleted (but unfilmed) scene where she gives the guards verbal abuse, resulting in her being gagged and hog-tied. As there was no prior indication due to the scene being deleted, a surprised Kim Cattrall had no idea she would be spending the scene trussed up until the day of shooting. She endured it like a professional, occasionally having her gag removed so she could drink water. When asked by John Carpenter whether or not she was uncomfortable, she simply replied ‘I’ve been in tighter situations than this!’

    • The Three Storms are a copy of the three Assassins in Lone Wolf and Cub (1973).

    • David Lo Pan was cursed by the first Emperor of China. James Pax, who plays Lightning – portrayed the First Emperor of China in the documentary of the same name in 2006.
    • The truck driven by Jack (Kurt Russell) – the “Pork Chop Express” – is a Freightliner FLC 120.

    • The fight scenes were meant to be John Carpenter’s homage to the old school Hong Kong Kung Fu movies. He is quoted as saying that he had his fight choreographer use every Kung fu movie fight gag to make the fight scenes as action filled as possible.

    • At one point, Jack is describing Lo Pan as “Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don’t.” Kurt Russell once starred in a Disney movie titled Now You See Him, Now You Don’t (1972).

    • In the DVD commentary, John Carpenter jokingly says that Kurt Russell’s character Jack Burton is the hero of the movie, but other than killing Lo Pan, and saving Wang when he shoots the guard, he is more of a sidekick throughout the movie.

Released: July 2, 1986

Directed By:   John Carpenter

Originally Written By:  Gary Goldman & David Z. Weinstein

Adapted By: D. Richter

Music By:  John Carpenter & Alan Howarth

Stars:   Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun, James Hong and a bunch of other actors.

Plot:  A rough-and-tumble trucker and his side kick face off with an ancient sorcerer in a supernatural battle beneath Chinatown.

Taglines:

  • Adventure doesn’t come any bigger!
  • They told Jack Burton to go to hell…and that’s exactly where he’s going!

How did this movie do?
Budget: $25 Million
Box Office: $11 Million

  • Body count: 106
    • Lightning – 20 (Deceased)
    • Thunder – 19 (Deceased)
    • Rain – 19 (Deceased)
    • Egg Shen – 14 (Alive)
    • Jack Burton – 8 (Alive)
    • Wang Chi – 5 (Alive
  • Top One-Liners:
    • When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like that: “Have ya paid your dues, Jack?” “Yessir, the check is in the mail.”
    • Just remember what ol’ Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol’ storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”
    • Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I’m here.
    • Jack Burton: I’m a reasonable guy. But, I’ve just experienced some very unreasonable things.
    • Jack Burton: You know what ol’ Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
    • Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, “Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it’s all in the reflexes.”
    • Jack Burton: Sooner or later I rub everybody the wrong way.
    • Jack Burton: [speaking to Lo Pan] Are you crazy… Is that your problem?
    • Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!
    • Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?
    • Jack Burton: What, I’m supposed to buy this shit? 2,000 years and he can’t find a broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doin’ somethin’ seriously wrong.
    • Jack Burton: We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn’t we, Wang?
    • Jack Burton: It’s all in the reflexes.
    • Jack Burton: How do you do, ma’am? Henry Swanson’s my name and excitement’s my game.
    • Jack Burton: Let’s you and me have a little talk, friend.
  1. A “Muy Macho” Hero with quotable one-liners played by a recognizable star – Jack Burton played by Kurt Russell
  2. Over the Top Villain – Lo Pan
  3. A Montage Sequence – Nope
  4. Over the Top Chase Scenes – Early on Chase scene from Airport
  5. Epic Fight Scenes – May over the top fight scenes
  6. A Villain Speech/Monologue – Lo Pan has a few
  7. A Final Showdown – Yes
  8. An “Oh Crap” Death for our Bad Guy – Knife to the head & Thunder’s temper tantrum
  9. Franchise Potential – Spawned a Comic & an upcoming sequel staring The Rock.
  10. Around a 90 minute runtime – 99 minutes
  11. A High Body Count – 106 Deaths
  12. A Cool Ride: The “Pork Chop Express” – is a Freightliner FLC 120.
  • Carpenter wanted a big star of his own and both Clint Eastwood and Jack Nicholson were considered but were busy.
  • Jeff Bridges was considered to play Jack Burton, since he worked with John Carpenter on Starman (1984). He was also considered for Kurt Russell’s roles in Escape from New York (1981) and The Thing (1982).
  • Jackie Chan was John Carpenter’s first choice to play Wang Chi, but producer Lawrence Gordon was highly against it, fearing Chan’s English wasn’t good enough after seeing his performances in Battle Creek Brawl (1980) and The Protector (1985), but Carpenter wanted Chan after the success of Police Story (1985). Chan declined and Dennis Dun was cast instead.
  • Big Trouble was released in the midst of the hype for James Cameron’s blockbuster Aliens, which was released 16 days after. Cameron believes this is one of the big reasons Big Trouble performed so badly at the box office.

  • The Chinese characters in the main title translate to “Evil Spirits Make a Big Scene in Little Spiritual State”.

  • The Three Storms were partly the inspiration for the popular character of thunder god Raiden from Mortal Kombat fighting video game series, while David Lo Pan was the inspiration for the evil sorcerer Shang Tsung.

  • Kurt Russell suffered a bad case of the flu during the scene just after the brothel, so the sweat on his body is real, caused by the fever.

  • According to John Carpenter, the opening of the film with Egg Shen (Victor Wong) in the lawyer’s office was added in at the request of 20th Century Fox executives, in order to make Kurt Russell’s character Jack Burton more heroic (they didn’t get the idea of Jack being a sidekick rather than a hero). Without the added scene, the film would have started with Jack driving to San Francisco.

  • This was the last studio film that John Carpenter worked on at the end of the 1980s, due to various problems he experienced during the production of the film, with then studio head Lawrence Gordon, who constantly interfered with the film up until its release date. Carpenter’s two follow-ups Prince of Darkness (1987) and They Live (1988) were made independently via Alive Films, without any studio interference, and distributed by Universal Pictures.

  • This is the fourth of five movies John Carpenter and Kurt Russell have done together. Elvis (1979), Escape from New York (1981), The Thing (1982), and Escape from L.A. (1996) are the other ones.

  • For the film’s many fight scenes John Carpenter worked with martial arts choreographer James Lew, who planned every scene in detail. Carpenter stated, “I used every cheap gag – trampolines, wires, reverse movements, and upside down sets. It was much like photographing a dance.”

  • Kurt Russell turned down the lead role of Connor MacLeod in Highlander (1986) to appear in this film. Both movies were made and released by 20th Century Fox.

  • The interior of Egg Chen’s garage/office is Fire Station 23, the same building used as the business interior in Ghostbusters.

  • In the scene where Kurt Russell is attempting to infiltrate the brothel, he is wearing the same outfit that he wore in Used Cars (1980).

  • In the last scene featuring the character Lightning, the last frame of the lightning effect forms the Chinese characters for “carpenter” – a tribute to director John Carpenter. There is a still image of this in the photo gallery.

  • In the wedding scene where Lo Pan is putting the Needle of Love in Miao Yin, James Hong jabbed Suzee Pai too hard. You can see her flinch as he puts it in her.

  • The characters on the front of “Egg” Shen’s bus say, “Uncle Egg’s Tours Guarantee a Good Time”.

  • Right before the end credits when Jack Burton is driving his truck and talking on his CB Radio, he says, “You just listen to the old Pork-Chop Express here now, and take his advice on a dark and stormy night, when the lightning’s crashing, and the thunder’s rollin’, and the rain’s coming down…” paying homage to the names of the 3 Storms, Lo Pan’s bodyguards.

  • One of the more difficult effects was the floating eyeball, a spy for Lo-Pan. It was powered by several puppeteers and dozens of cables to control its facial expressions. It was shot with a matting system specially designed for it.

  • The ending song is written and sung by “The Coupe De Villes”, a band formed by John Carpenter, Nick Castle, and Tommy Lee Wallace (Second Unit Director on this picture).

  • In an early scene set at the airport, a street gang has kidnapped Wang’s fiancé and are speeding through the underground car park towards Wang and Jack, who dive out of the way just in time. Watching the scene carefully, it is easy to spot that John Carpenter shot the scene backwards, with the actors performing all movements in reverse. The scene was then played forward and sped up substantially. This dramatic scene was shot using this reverse method not to confuse actors and crew (or audience for that matter), but for safety reasons due to the speed of the vehicles and lack of stunt doubles.

  • The brides of Lo Pan must have green eyes, yet Kim Cattrall and Suzee Pai both have brown eyes. They wore green contacts for the movie. This is very obvious in the high definition version.

  • “Miao Yin” roughly translates to “cat-like”.

  • The movie was parodied in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: A Chinatown Ghost Story (2014), an episode of the animated Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. They even had James Hong provide the voice of a near carbon copy of Lo Pan named Ho Chan.

  • Peter Kwong cited his character’s long hair as one of the best parts of making the film, even though, according to him, “I had to sit in three hours of make-up every day, just to get in and out of the three thousand dollar wig.”

  • John Carpenter had seen Dennis Dun in Year of the Dragon (1985) and liked his work. He met the actor twice before casting him in the role of Wang Chi only a few days before principal photography.

  • In the prison scene, Gracie is the only prisoner kept bound and gagged in her cell. This is explained by a deleted (but unfilmed) scene where she gives the guards verbal abuse, resulting in her being gagged and hog-tied. As there was no prior indication due to the scene being deleted, a surprised Kim Cattrall had no idea she would be spending the scene trussed up until the day of shooting. She endured it like a professional, occasionally having her gag removed so she could drink water. When asked by John Carpenter whether or not she was uncomfortable, she simply replied ‘I’ve been in tighter situations than this!’

  • The Three Storms are a copy of the three Assassins in Lone Wolf and Cub (1973).

  • David Lo Pan was cursed by the first Emperor of China. James Pax, who plays Lightning – portrayed the First Emperor of China in the documentary of the same name in 2006.
  • The truck driven by Jack (Kurt Russell) – the “Pork Chop Express” – is a Freightliner FLC 120.

  • The fight scenes were meant to be John Carpenter’s homage to the old school Hong Kong Kung Fu movies. He is quoted as saying that he had his fight choreographer use every Kung fu movie fight gag to make the fight scenes as action filled as possible.

  • At one point, Jack is describing Lo Pan as “Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don’t.” Kurt Russell once starred in a Disney movie titled Now You See Him, Now You Don’t (1972).

  • In the DVD commentary, John Carpenter jokingly says that Kurt Russell’s character Jack Burton is the hero of the movie, but other than killing Lo Pan, and saving Wang when he shoots the guard, he is more of a sidekick throughout the movie.

About The Movie From IMDB

Big Trouble in Little China | July 2, 1986 (United States) 7.2
Director: John CarpenterWriter: Gary Goldman, David Z. Weinstein, W.D. RichterStars: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis DunSummary:

Photos


See all photos >>

Videos


See all videos >>

Cast

Kurt Russell
...
Jack Burton
Kim Cattrall
...
Gracie Law
Dennis Dun
...
Wang Chi
James Hong
...
David Lo Pan
Victor Wong
...
Egg Shen
Kate Burton
...
Margo
Donald Li
...
Eddie Lee
Carter Wong
...
Thunder
Peter Kwong
...
Rain
James Pax
...
Lightning
Suzee Pai
...
Miao Yin
Chao Li Chi
...
Uncle Chu
Jeff Imada
...
Needles
Rummel Mor
...
Joe Lucky
Craig Ng
...
One Ear
June Kyoto Lu
...
White Tiger
Noel Toy
...
Mrs. O'Toole
Jade Go
...
Chinese Girl in White Tiger

See full cast >>
Countries: United StatesLanguages: English, CantoneseBudget: $25,000,000 (estimated)
Source: imdb.com
Previous
Next

Note: All images are property of their respected owners and used for editorial purposes.

7.2
Big Trouble in Little China | July 2, 1986 (United States)
Director: John CarpenterWriter: Gary Goldman, David Z. Weinstein, W.D. RichterStars: Kurt Russell, Kim Cattrall, Dennis Dun
Summary:
Countries: United StatesLanguages: English, Cantonese
Source: imdb.comDisclaimer: This plugin has been coded to automatically quote data from imdb.com. Not available for any other purpose. All showing data have a link to imdb.com. The user is responsible for any other use or change codes.

Quotes

Jack Burton: When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, and he looks you crooked in the eye and he asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: "Have ya paid your dues, Jack?" "Yessir, the check is in the mail."

[last lines]

Jack Burton: Just remember what ol' Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big ol' storm right square in the eye and he says, "Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it."

Jack Burton: Everybody relax, I'm here.

Jack Burton: Okay. You people sit tight, hold the fort and keep the home fires burning. And if we're not back by dawn... call the president.

Gracie: I'd go with you but...

Jack Burton: I know, there's a problem with your face.

Jack Burton: I'm a reasonable guy. But, I've just experienced some very unreasonable things.

Jack Burton: [They are swimming through a tunnel filled almost to the top with water.] Would you stop rubbing your body up against mine? Because I can't concentrate when you do that.

Gracie: What a pig you are, Burton!

Jack Burton: You know what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like this?

Thunder: Who?

Jack Burton: Jack Burton. *Me*!

Wang Chi: Here's to the Army and Navy and the battles they have won; here's to America's colors, the colors that never run.

Jack Burton: May the wings of liberty never lose a feather.

Jack Burton: What's in the flask, Egg? Magic potion?

Egg Shen: Yeah.

Jack Burton: Thought so, good. What do we do, drink it?

Egg Shen: Yeah!

Jack Burton: Good! Thought so.

Margo: God, aren't you even gonna kiss her goodbye?

Jack Burton: Nope.

Jack Burton: Like I told my last wife, I says, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides that, it's all in the reflexes."

Jack Burton: I don't get this at all. I thought Lo Pan...

Lo Pan: Shut up, Mr. Burton! You are not brought upon this world to get it!

Wang Chi: You ready, Jack?

Jack Burton: I was born ready.

Jack Burton: [pointing to Chinese writing on elevator] What does that say?

Wang Chi: [speaks Chinese] Hell of Boiling Oil.

Jack Burton: You're kidding.

Wang Chi: Yeah, I am. It says Keep Out.

[Jack points to the wall]

Jack Burton: Hollow?

Wang Chi: Hollow.

Jack Burton: Fuck it.

[Jack wacks open the hollow wall with his knife]

Jack Burton: We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?

Jack Burton: Ol' Jack always says... what the hell?

Jack Burton: Sooner or later I rub everybody the wrong way.

Jack Burton: All I know is, this Lo Pan character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him with *light* coming out of his mouth!

Jack Burton: You can go off and rule the universe from beyond the grave.

Lo Pan: Indeed!

Jack Burton: Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first, huh?

Egg Shen: Can see things no one else can see. Do things no one else can do.

Jack Burton: Real things?

Egg Shen: As real as Lo Pan!

Jack Burton: Hey, what more can a guy ask for?

Egg Shen: Oh, the six-demon bag!

Jack Burton: Terrific, a six-demon bag. Sensational. What's in it, Egg?

Egg Shen: Wind, fire, all that kind of thing!

[walking outside in the rain, Jack and Egg fight for control of the umbrella]

Wang Chi: A brave man likes the feel of nature on his face, Jack.

Egg Shen: Yeah, and a wise man has enough sense to get in out of the rain!

Jack Burton: This is Jack Burton in the Pork Chop Express, and I'm talkin' to whoever's listenin' out there.

Jack Burton: [speaking to Lo Pan] Are you crazy... Is that your problem?

Jack Burton: Son of a bitch must pay!

Jack Burton: Well, ya see, I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on here, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe.

Jack Burton: Which Lo Pan? Little old basket case on wheels or the ten foot tall roadblock?

Egg Shen: Of course the Chinese mix everything up. Look at what they have to work with. There's Buddhism, Confucianism, and Taoist alchemy and sorcery. We take what we want and leave the rest. Just like your salad bar.

[on phone to insurance company]

Jack Burton: I'm gonna tell you about an accident, and I don't wanna hear "act of God"!

Jack Burton: Wang, these guys, these Sing Dings...

Wang Chi: Chang Sings.

Jack Burton: They got enemies?

Wang Chi: Wing Kong.

Jack Burton: Who wear red turbans?

Wang Chi: [sees they're now surrounded by Wing Kong warriors] Holy SHIT! These guys are animals, Jack!

Jack Burton: Feel pretty good. I'm not, uh, I'm not scared at all. I just feel kind of... feel kind of invincible.

Wang Chi: Me, too. I got a very positive attitude about this.

Jack Burton: Good, me too.

Wang Chi: Yeah!

[pause]

Jack Burton: Is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?

Lo Pan: And when I find her, I will marry her...

Wang Chi: Never!

Lo Pan: Ching Dai will be appeased, my curse will be lifted!

Jack Burton: And you can go on to rule the universe from beyond the grave.

Lo Pan: Indeed!

Jack Burton: Or check into a psycho ward, whichever comes first, right?

Wang Chi: Jack, will you...?

Jack Burton: "Jack" what? I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2000 years, he can't find one broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doing something seriously wrong!

Lo Pan: There have been others, to be sure. There are always others. But you know, Mr. Burton, the difficulties between men and women. How seldom it works out? Yet we all keep trying, like fools.

Gracie: [on their way to confront Lo Pan] Do you have a gun, I hope?

Jack Burton: I have a knife.

Gracie: A knife? This guy's twelve feet tall!

Jack Burton: Seven. Hey, don't worry, I can handle him.

Jack Burton: Tall guy, weird clothes. First you see him, then you don't.

Jack Burton: That is not water.

Egg Shen: Black blood of the earth.

Jack Burton: Do you mean oil?

Egg Shen: I mean black blood of the earth.

[in a whore house]

Jack Burton: Henry Swanson's my name, and excitement's my game.

White Tiger: Cash or charge?

Jack Burton: Oh gosh, cash, I guess. I mean it's not deductible, is it.

Lo Pan: [spots Gracie, Margo and Eddie on a security monitor] Who are these people? Friends of yours, huh? Now this really pisses me off to no end!

Wang Chi: Nothin' or double, Jack.

Uncle Chu: What the hell is Gracie Law doing here?

Jack Burton: She can't get enough of me.

Gracie: Hah! He wishes.

Wang Chi: They got this sorta clubhouse thing, you know, where they all hang out.

Jack Burton: Sharpen their knives, huh?

Wang Chi: I can't ask you to...

Jack Burton: Where is it?

Wang Chi: Thank you, Jack.

Jack Burton: You got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself.

Egg Shen: Lo Pan is down there.

Jack Burton: Down where?

Egg Shen: Where is the universe?

Jack Burton: This is gonna take crackerjack timing, Wang.

Jack Burton: [tapping on the walls] Two, three feet thick, I'll bet. Probably welded shut from the outside, and covered with brick by now!

Wang Chi: Don't give up, Jack!

Jack Burton: Oh, okay, I won't, Wang! Let's just *chew* our way outta here.

Egg Shen: You will come out no more!

Jack Burton: What? Huh? What'll come out no more?

Egg Shen: Come on.

Jack Burton: Dammit!

Jack Burton: Oh, my god, no. Please! What is that? Don't tell me!

Egg Shen: A guardian. What it sees, Lo Pan knows!

Jack Burton: I took something. I can see things no one else can see. Why're you dressed like that?

Pinstripe lawyer: Okay. But if I'm gonna be your attorney, there are a few things that I have to know that, uh, still don't make any sense to me. Like, um, you really believe in magic?

Egg Shen: You mean Chinese black magic?

Pinstripe lawyer: Yes.

Egg Shen: Oh, absolutely.

Pinstripe lawyer: Are you still serious about this? And, uh, monsters and ghosts as well, I suppose?

Egg Shen: Oh, sure. And sorcery.

Pinstripe lawyer: And I suppose that, uh, you expect me to believe in sorcery as well?

Egg Shen: Of course!

Pinstripe lawyer: Why?

Egg Shen: Because it's real.

Pinstripe lawyer: How can I know that, Mr. Shen?

Egg Shen: How?

Pinstripe lawyer: Yes, how? Help me out here. Please, how?

[Shen raises his hands, and a small bolt of lightning jumps between his palms. The lawyer stares, open-mouthed]

Egg Shen: See? That was nothing. But that's how it always begins. Very small.

Miao Yin: I don't belong to you.

Lo Pan: You don't. You belong to Ching Dai. I must sacrifice you. But I love you and I need you.

Miao Yin: No!

Lo Pan: Here take her. Take the bitch!

Lo Pan: Then Ching Dai will be happy and my curse will be lifted!

Jack Burton: And go off to rule the universe from beyond the grave.

Lo Pan: Indeed!

Jack Burton: Or check into a psycho ward, which ever comes first huh!

Gracie: [Jack starts up the Pork Chop Express] What was that?

Jack Burton: 6.9 on the Richter scale!

Lo Pan: [Yells at Wang in Chinese after growing frustrated with Jack's dismissive attitude] Mr. Burton, if you have an influence over your youthful friend, you better exert it now. Otherwise I will send both of you to the hell where people are skinned alive! It's that simple. Understand?

Jack Burton: [Leans forward] Are you crazy? Is that your problem?

Wang Chi: No, he means it, Jack.

Jack Burton: Mutual Fidelity Insurers of Sacramento... well, there's gotta be a listing, honey, cause I pay 'em 6 G's a year in premiums.

Uncle Chu: China is here, Mr. Burton. The Chang Sing, the Wing Kong, they've been fighting for centuries.

Jack Burton: What does that mean? "China is here"? I don't even know what the hell that means. All I know is this "Lo Pan" character comes out of thin air in the middle of a goddamn alley while his buddies are flying around on wires cutting everybody to shreds, and he just stands there waiting for me to drive my truck straight through him, with light coming out of his mouth!

Wang Chi: Jack, please...

[lightning strikes and Wang becomes silent]

Uncle Chu: When did this happen?

Wang Chi: It didn't, uncle Chu, not like he says.

Jack Burton: [diverting from his phone call] Yeah, it did, uncle Chu, 2 hours ago. Tall guy, weird clothes, first you see him then you don't.

[back to his call]

Jack Burton: Yeah, is this just a switch board or something...

Uncle Chu: Lo Pan appeared on the street? Wang Chi, why didn't you tell me?

Wang Chi: I didn't want to alarm you, uncle.

Jack Burton: [on his phone call] I'm gonna tell you about an accident and I don't want to hear "act of God," alright?

[enter Eddie]

Eddie: Good afternoon, Mr. Wong.

Wang Chi: Eddie, meet my dear friend Jack Burton. Eddie is the new maitre'd here at the Black Pool.

Eddie: And a whole lot more.

Jack Burton: [on his phone call] I don't know my policy number, it's in the glove compartment. Just look under B-U-R-T-O-N, will ya?

Eddie: Jack Burton?

[Jack turns to his name being called]

Eddie: Wow, the guy you always told me about, huh? So that was your abandoned truck.

Jack Burton: Abandoned, like hell!

[into the phone]

Jack Burton: Hey! Hello! Hello! Ahh, Christ.

Eddie: Bad news. The Lords of Death stole it after you ran away.

Jack Burton: They stole my truck?

Wang Chi: Take it easy, Jack, you're with friends. We'll find it for you.

Jack Burton: Damn right, you will. And my money, and time is money to a guy like me...

[points to uncle Chu]

Jack Burton: ... and your phone is dead, by the way.

Margo: This is just so shocking. I mean I must just be so monumentally naive.

Eddie: You are.

Wang Chi: Jack, listen, I need more of your help. I can't pay you today, okay?

Jack Burton: Oh, shit.

Wang Chi: How can I? I need all my cash for Miao Yin.

Eddie: And it's gonna cost. She's got green eyes.

Gracie: Oh no, seriously? Oh, that's an extra to these people. It's like leather bucket seats, it's double the price.

Wang Chi: Jack, first I gotta go somewhere, Jack.

Jack Burton: No, you don't.

Wang Chi: Yeah, I do. So how 'bout we meet at my restaurant in a few hours, you know? I pay the money then.

Jack Burton: Pay the money now! Where you gotta go?

Wang Chi: The airport.

Jack Burton: Yeah, right. Over my dead body.

Wang Chi: If need be.

Jack Burton: We really shook the pillars of heaven, didn't we, Wang?

Wang Chi: No horseshit, Jack.

Jack Burton: No horseshit.

Lo Pan: What does it mean? Two girls with green eyes. After all these years.

Gracie: You bastards, unchain me. You're not gonna get away with this. Where's Lo Pan?

Lo Pan: [speaks Chinese] This one has fire as well!

Jack Burton: Is this gonna get ugly, now? Huh? I hope not. Because I thought what we were here, racial differences notwithstanding, was just a couple of old friends. You know, just both of us Californians.

Jack Burton: What does that mean? Huh? "China is here." I don't even know what the hell that means.

Jack Burton: We made it. Holy shit, we made it!

Lo Pan: Magic... The darkest magic. My soul swims in it... Scattered across time, trapped in the world of formlessness...

Eddie: Well sure it was a war. And anybody that showed up was gonna join Lem Lee in the Hell of Being Cut to Pieces.

Jack Burton: Hell of being what?

Eddie: Chinese have a lot of Hells.

Jack Burton: Abandoned like hell!

Gracie: Don't panic, it's only me, Gracie Law!

Jack Burton: If you have problem like that again, just reach for the sky!

Lo Pan: [Catches Jack's knife in midair, pauses to examine it, nodding in approval] Good knife. Goodbye, Mr. Burton.

[throws it]

Jack Burton: [quickly catches knife and throws it back, hitting Lo Pan right between the eyes]

Lo Pan: [Lo Pan falls backwards and impacts the ground with a shockwave that sets the statues ringing the room falling like dominoes, shattering to bits]

Jack Burton: It's all in the reflexes.

Jack Burton: How do you do, ma'am? Henry Swanson's my name and excitement's my game.

Jack Burton: What, I'm supposed to buy this shit? 2,000 years and he can't find a broad to fit the bill? Come on, Dave, you must be doin' somethin' seriously wrong.

Thunder: Play your cards right... you live to talk about it!

Lo Pan: There have been others, to be sure. There are always others, are there not? You seem to be one who knows the difficulties between men and women. How seldom it works out. Yet we all keep trying, like fools.

Lo Pan: They have returned. And this time they are not alone. Egg Shen is with them. Little bastard sorcerer has brought them through the Bog of the Dead Trees.

[calling to him telepathically]

Lo Pan: Egg Shen... EGG SHEN! You have come a long ways to find me. But it is too late. There are two girls with green eyes, and I will marry them both. And then I will sacrifice Gracie Law to appease my emperor and live out my earthly pleasures with Miao Yin.

[cackles]

Lo Pan: That's right, Egg Shen. The best of two worlds!

Lo Pan: You never could beat me, Egg Shen.

Egg Shen: We're getting close, real close. And now for some more bad news... Ready?

Lo Pan: [On phone] No pathetic excuses! I smell the blood of human beings; find them! Boil them until their flesh falls off. You heard me!

Jack Burton: So who are we pickin' up?

Wang Chi: A girl. I don't wanna talk about it.

Jack Burton: A girl? Where from?

Wang Chi: Peking. This is a big day in my life. I should have gone home and gotten 40 winks.

Jack Burton: A girl from China? All right, I never done that. I picked up girls from everywhere else, but never from China.

Jack Burton: Whoa. Who is that?

Wang Chi: She has green eyes. You know how rare that is, Jack?

Jack Burton: How can you tell from here?

Wang Chi: Not her, she's trouble. Miao Yin. Beautiful green eyes, like creamy jade.

Jack Burton: Trouble, huh?

Jack Burton: Hey Egg! How'd you get up there?

Egg Shen: It wasn't easy!

Wang Chi: That's why the bottle didn't slice. My mind and my spirit are goin' north and south.

[first lines]

Pinstripe lawyer: What I'd like to do today is get your version of what happened.

Egg Shen: Oh, you mean the truth.

Pinstripe lawyer: Of course. First, just state your name and your occupation for the record.

Egg Shen: Oh, Egg Shen. Bus driver.

Wang Chi: [after Wang defeats all the warriors in the warehouse] Time to go!

Lo Pan: And now, my beloved disciples. The moment of truth... the needle of love.

Wang Chi: Jack, check this out.

Jack Burton: So what is this? Chinese or somethin'? Countin' backwards?

Wang Chi: Not backwards. Downwards.

Wang Chi: Come on, Jack. Don't be afraid.

Jack Burton: Afraid? Are you kidding?

Gracie: I have it on good advice that the punks that jumped me, and took Jack's truck, they took the girl they kidnapped to the White Tiger for a quick sale. Who was she?

Wang Chi: [very worried] My fiancee. The White Tiger?

Gracie: Oh, God. I'm sorry. If we go tonight, we can buy her back. A warrant's too complicated, violence out of the question...

Jack Burton: Hold it! Slow down. I'm feelin' like an outsider here.

Gracie: You are!

Gracie: I'd go in there with you, but they know my face and they'd wanna push it in.

Jack Burton: Wait a minute!

Gracie: Don't!

Jack Burton: Don't what?

Gracie: The Lords of Death. Street gang. Punks from Chinatown. What are they doing here?

Jack Burton: Let's you and me have a little talk, friend.

Gracie: See you around, Burton.

Jack Burton: Never can tell.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque imperdiet eros leo, eget consequat orci viverra nec. Suspendisse pellentesque sem metus, et mollis purus auctor in eoses eget. Powered by SecondLineThemes