Podcast 45: True Lies (1994)

January 19, 2022 Jon S Movies, Podcasting 01:29:2784MB 0 Comments
True Lies

The 3 Guys Podcast

Recorded on 1/06/2022

This week we pull from our archive to release one of the first podcasts we recorded.  In this episode we review James Cameron’s hit action movie True Lies (released 1994) starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Eliza Dushku, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Art Malik and Tia Carrere.  WARNING: There will be SPOILERS!

The 3 Guys Rating

3.8/5
True Lies DVD

Interested in checking out the movie on DVD? Click on the link below.

True Lies DVD

Notes From The Show

  • Quick Synopsis

  • Released: July 15, 1994

    Directed By:   James Cameron

    Screenplay By:  James Cameron

    Story By: James Cameron, Randall Frakes

    Based On: La Totale! by Claude Zidi, Simon Michaël and Didier Kaminka

    Stars:   Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Eliza Dushku, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Art Malik and Tia Carrere.

    Plot:  A fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used-car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States.

    How did this movie do
    Budget: $120 Million
    Box office: $379 Million

  • Awards

    • Academy Awards: Nominated for Best Effects, Visual Effects -John Bruno, Thomas L. Fisher, Jacques Stroweis, Pat McClung

    • Golden Globes: Jamie Lee Curtis won a Golden Globe for her performance as Helen Tasker.

  • Based On

    • La Totale! (The Total!) is a 1991 French spy comedy film directed by Claude Zidi. The film was the basis for director James Cameron’s 1994 action comedy True Lies.

    • Directed by: Claude Zidi
      Written by: Simon Michaël, Claude Zidi, Didier Kaminka
      Produced by: Jean-Louis Livi
      Starring: Thierry Lhermitte, Miou-Miou, Eddy Mitchell, Michel Boujenah

    • In an interview, James Cameron said that the idea for the film was suggested to him by Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose brother-in-law Robert Shriver had shown him a French film called La totale ! (1991). Schwarzenegger wanted to do a film like that because he thought the super secret agent character was interesting. Cameron was surprised because he had never seen Schwarzenegger suggest a project based solely on his interest in a character. After watching the film, Cameron loved the idea of presenting a secret agent with nearly unlimited professional resources as a family man, basically asking the question “who would James Bond be if he got home and had to answer to his wife?” and decided to make the movie.

    • PLOT: François Voisin is a telecommunications employee with an ostensibly unremarkable life. In reality François is a secret agent. He is reputed to be one of the best in his profession earning him the moniker l’Épée or, “The Sword”. He hides his activities from his wife.
      François is coming home on his 40th birthday, for which his wife has secretly prepared a surprise party with old friends with whom he used to fence. He is called back by his colleague Albert for a mission involving planting a microphone in an arms smuggler’s car. He succeeds after a struggle. As he arrives home, his friends mock his “boring” life.
      The planted microphone leads the Secret Service to a prostitute. After infiltrating her apartment and planting a camera, they discover she is helping a missile expert and the smuggler to meet. They then intercept and destroy a missile convoy. Meanwhile, François’ wife Hélène is living a monotonous life.
      Hélène then meets Simon, who pretends to be a secret agent while in reality he is a car dealer living in a caravan. François discovers Hélène is meeting someone in secrecy and believes she is cheating. He therefore uses the agency’s resources to spy on her and find out more about Simon. When Simon lures Hélène to his caravan, François kidnaps both of them. He makes his wife believe that Simon was a terrorist and then makes Hélène believe she has to work for the agency to secure her freedom. She is unaware that François is behind this, and gets sent to a hotel room for a mission where he plans on surprising her. At this point, they both get kidnapped by henchmen of the arms dealer. After François admits his true identity to Hélène, he manages for them to escape. They thwart the arms dealer’s plan of blowing up a football stadium in Paris and all ends well.
      The film concludes with François’ 41st birthday. He and Hélène kidnap a dangerous man who turns out to be Simon pretending to be someone else.

  • Trivia

    • When Harry tells Gib that Helen is having an affair, Gib tells a story about his second wife taking everything when she left him, even the ice cube trays from the freezer. This is a direct reference to Tom Arnold’s divorce from Roseanne Barr that was happening at the same time – she was reported to have taken his ice cube trays when she left him as well. Arnold told the story to James Cameron on the set while saying: “What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?” Cameron thought the line was hilarious, and incorporated it into the film.

    • Jamie Lee Curtis performed the helicopter rescue scene herself. At her insistence, director James Cameron agreed to let her perform this scary spectacle. According to Jamie Lee Curtis, on the TV special promoting “True Lies,” it was Cameron’s idea for her to do the helicopter work; she said, “Oh, yeah. And just where are you going to be while I’m dangling way up there in the air, Jim?” And, according to her, he said, “Hanging out the door filming you with a hand-held camera.” So she decided that if he was willing to do that to get the shot, she could stand to do it, too. Curtis did the helicopter stunt on her 35th birthday: November 22, 1993.

    • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biggest challenge for the movie was not doing all the physical stunts, but dancing a tango. He had to take dancing lessons to realistically perform the dance. He rehearsed the scene for about six months, as he wanted to make sure he was as good at the tango as Al Pacino was in Scent of a Woman (1992).

    • The set of bra and matching panties worn by Helen Tasker during the striptease scene were Jamie Lee Curtis’s own. Curtis rehearsed the scene extensively with director James Cameron, and it was there that the fall she makes in the middle of the dance was conceived (it didn’t happen spontaneously during the actual shooting, as is often claimed). Arnold Schwarzenegger was not told of this beforehand, and this is hinted at when Harry briefly sits up in alarm, realizes that he is breaking character, and then relaxes. They did another take with the same gag, but Harry’s reaction didn’t look as spontaneous.

    • Tom Arnold didn’t expect to get a role in the movie, and went to the audition mostly for the chance to meet director James Cameron. He did some scenes with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Cameron immediately noticed the chemistry between the two actors. Afterwards, Arnold jokingly said about Schwarzenegger: “He’s not that big, I think I can take him”, which highly amused Cameron and sealed the deal. Initially, 20th Century Fox objected (Arnold’s reputation at the time wasn’t positive, mostly due to his public antics with then-wife Roseanne Barr), but when Cameron threatened to take the movie somewhere else if Arnold couldn’t be cast, they relented. When Arnold later learned about this, he was grateful to Cameron for taking a chance on him. He became a good friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cameron afterwards.

    • Tia Carrere named this as her favorite role of all time “because I got to be a villain.”

    • The soundstage where they shot the Harrier scale model was the largest 180 degree green-screen background ever built.

    • The US Government supplied three Marine Harriers and their pilots for a fee of $100,736 ($2,410 per hour).

    • Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t supposed to drop the tape recorder. James Cameron liked it, and kept it in.

    • James Cameron can be heard as the helicopter pilot who says, “Yeah she’s got her head in his lap, Yahoo!”

    • When asked during an interview whether his wife was bothered by him sitting there watching Jamie Lee Curtis strip, Arnold Schwarzenegger said that she asked him about it and he assured her “Honey, I hated every hour of it!”

    • Arnold Schwarzenegger had a near-fatal accident on set during the horse riding scene, when his horse got startled and ran out of control. Schwarzenegger managed to slide off the horse, but did this near a 30-foot drop-off. His personal stunt man saw what happened and was able to grab him before he went over the ledge.

    • In January 2018, Eliza Dushku (Dana Tasker) revealed that when she was a twelve-year-old child actress making this movie, she was sexually molested by the film’s thirty-six-year-old stunt coordinator, Joel Kramer. Dushku detailed how Kramer “groomed” her for several months to gain her friendship and her parents’ trust, contrived to spend an evening alone with her, and then molested her. Dushku also said that after an adult friend confronted him on the set about the abuse, she was injured during a stunt. Dushku alleges that this was “no small coincidence…. To be clear, over the course of those months rehearsing and filming True Lies, it was Joel Kramer who was responsible for my safety on a film that at the time broke new ground for action films. On a daily basis he rigged wires and harnesses on my 12 year old body. My life was literally in his hands: he hung me in the open air, from a tower crane, atop an office tower, 25+ stories high. Whereas he was supposed to be my protector, he was my abuser.” After her statement, Dushku’s co-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold and James Cameron all tweeted their respect and admiration for her bravery.

    • Eliza Dushku broke some ribs during the filming of her Harrier jet stunt scenes. It was later revealed by Dushku that this likely wasn’t entirely an accident.

    • The striptease scene drew some criticism for its perceived misogynistic content. Director James Cameron later said that Jamie Lee Curtis had heavy input in how the scene was played out. The original idea was for Helen to go completely nude, but in the dark so that only her silhouette would be seen. It was actually Curtis’s own suggestion to do it in full light while keeping her underwear on. She demonstrated it to Cameron beforehand, who remarked that he was reminded there what is so cool about his job. He also noted that most of the criticism of the scene came from men, while most of the female reviewers praised it as an empowering and even liberating scene for Helen.

    • Harry’s horse was really played by four different horses because they had different skills.

    • The appearance and traits of Spencer Trilby (Charlton Heston) is based on Nick Fury, a Marvel Comics character. Like Fury, Trilby has an eyepatch, and the same mannerisms; as well as heading a peacekeeping organization. At one point, Cameron wanted to be a comic book penciller, and does a lot of his own concept art. He even designed the entire T-800 endoskeleton.

    • A sequel to True Lies (1994) was once in the works, which would’ve reunited the principal cast as well as been directed by James Cameron, who directed the first movie. A script was even ready for this sequel, and had the movie been made, it would’ve been released sometime in 2002. The sequel idea was eventually scrapped (or at least indefinitely shelved) due to script problems as well the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Cameron even said in an interview that he dropped his sequel plans because “in this day and age, terrorism just isn’t funny anymore”.

    • Jamie Lee Curtis said that in his contract Arnold Schwarzenegger gets top billing then the title then it would have said starring Jamie Lee Curtis but when James Cameron finished editing the film and he saw that the film was really “a domestic epic, it’s a film about a marriage.” So James Cameron phoned Arnold Schwarzenegger and asked him if it would be ok to put Jamie Lee Curtis’s name before the title, to which Arnold Schwarzenegger immediately agreed. In the world of show business, as Jamie Lee Curtis said, “The credit is such a coveted, negotiable, commodity” that for Arnold Schwarzenegger to give her billing before the title “was a real mensch move on his part.”

    • Art Malik was offered more roles in other action films after but turned them down. Malik said “I didn’t want to do action movies that weren’t as good.

Released: July 15, 1994

Directed By:   James Cameron

Screenplay By:  James Cameron

Story By: James Cameron, Randall Frakes

Based On: La Totale! by Claude Zidi, Simon Michaël and Didier Kaminka

Stars:   Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Eliza Dushku, Tom Arnold, Bill Paxton, Art Malik and Tia Carrere.

Plot:  A fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used-car salesman while terrorists smuggle nuclear war heads into the United States.

How did this movie do
Budget: $120 Million
Box office: $379 Million

  • Academy Awards: Nominated for Best Effects, Visual Effects -John Bruno, Thomas L. Fisher, Jacques Stroweis, Pat McClung

  • Golden Globes: Jamie Lee Curtis won a Golden Globe for her performance as Helen Tasker.
  • La Totale! (The Total!) is a 1991 French spy comedy film directed by Claude Zidi. The film was the basis for director James Cameron’s 1994 action comedy True Lies.

  • Directed by: Claude Zidi
    Written by: Simon Michaël, Claude Zidi, Didier Kaminka
    Produced by: Jean-Louis Livi
    Starring: Thierry Lhermitte, Miou-Miou, Eddy Mitchell, Michel Boujenah

  • In an interview, James Cameron said that the idea for the film was suggested to him by Arnold Schwarzenegger, whose brother-in-law Robert Shriver had shown him a French film called La totale ! (1991). Schwarzenegger wanted to do a film like that because he thought the super secret agent character was interesting. Cameron was surprised because he had never seen Schwarzenegger suggest a project based solely on his interest in a character. After watching the film, Cameron loved the idea of presenting a secret agent with nearly unlimited professional resources as a family man, basically asking the question “who would James Bond be if he got home and had to answer to his wife?” and decided to make the movie.

  • PLOT: François Voisin is a telecommunications employee with an ostensibly unremarkable life. In reality François is a secret agent. He is reputed to be one of the best in his profession earning him the moniker l’Épée or, “The Sword”. He hides his activities from his wife.
    François is coming home on his 40th birthday, for which his wife has secretly prepared a surprise party with old friends with whom he used to fence. He is called back by his colleague Albert for a mission involving planting a microphone in an arms smuggler’s car. He succeeds after a struggle. As he arrives home, his friends mock his “boring” life.
    The planted microphone leads the Secret Service to a prostitute. After infiltrating her apartment and planting a camera, they discover she is helping a missile expert and the smuggler to meet. They then intercept and destroy a missile convoy. Meanwhile, François’ wife Hélène is living a monotonous life.
    Hélène then meets Simon, who pretends to be a secret agent while in reality he is a car dealer living in a caravan. François discovers Hélène is meeting someone in secrecy and believes she is cheating. He therefore uses the agency’s resources to spy on her and find out more about Simon. When Simon lures Hélène to his caravan, François kidnaps both of them. He makes his wife believe that Simon was a terrorist and then makes Hélène believe she has to work for the agency to secure her freedom. She is unaware that François is behind this, and gets sent to a hotel room for a mission where he plans on surprising her. At this point, they both get kidnapped by henchmen of the arms dealer. After François admits his true identity to Hélène, he manages for them to escape. They thwart the arms dealer’s plan of blowing up a football stadium in Paris and all ends well.
    The film concludes with François’ 41st birthday. He and Hélène kidnap a dangerous man who turns out to be Simon pretending to be someone else.
  • When Harry tells Gib that Helen is having an affair, Gib tells a story about his second wife taking everything when she left him, even the ice cube trays from the freezer. This is a direct reference to Tom Arnold’s divorce from Roseanne Barr that was happening at the same time – she was reported to have taken his ice cube trays when she left him as well. Arnold told the story to James Cameron on the set while saying: “What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?” Cameron thought the line was hilarious, and incorporated it into the film.

  • Jamie Lee Curtis performed the helicopter rescue scene herself. At her insistence, director James Cameron agreed to let her perform this scary spectacle. According to Jamie Lee Curtis, on the TV special promoting “True Lies,” it was Cameron’s idea for her to do the helicopter work; she said, “Oh, yeah. And just where are you going to be while I’m dangling way up there in the air, Jim?” And, according to her, he said, “Hanging out the door filming you with a hand-held camera.” So she decided that if he was willing to do that to get the shot, she could stand to do it, too. Curtis did the helicopter stunt on her 35th birthday: November 22, 1993.

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger’s biggest challenge for the movie was not doing all the physical stunts, but dancing a tango. He had to take dancing lessons to realistically perform the dance. He rehearsed the scene for about six months, as he wanted to make sure he was as good at the tango as Al Pacino was in Scent of a Woman (1992).

  • The set of bra and matching panties worn by Helen Tasker during the striptease scene were Jamie Lee Curtis’s own. Curtis rehearsed the scene extensively with director James Cameron, and it was there that the fall she makes in the middle of the dance was conceived (it didn’t happen spontaneously during the actual shooting, as is often claimed). Arnold Schwarzenegger was not told of this beforehand, and this is hinted at when Harry briefly sits up in alarm, realizes that he is breaking character, and then relaxes. They did another take with the same gag, but Harry’s reaction didn’t look as spontaneous.

  • Tom Arnold didn’t expect to get a role in the movie, and went to the audition mostly for the chance to meet director James Cameron. He did some scenes with Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Cameron immediately noticed the chemistry between the two actors. Afterwards, Arnold jokingly said about Schwarzenegger: “He’s not that big, I think I can take him”, which highly amused Cameron and sealed the deal. Initially, 20th Century Fox objected (Arnold’s reputation at the time wasn’t positive, mostly due to his public antics with then-wife Roseanne Barr), but when Cameron threatened to take the movie somewhere else if Arnold couldn’t be cast, they relented. When Arnold later learned about this, he was grateful to Cameron for taking a chance on him. He became a good friend of Arnold Schwarzenegger and Cameron afterwards.

  • Tia Carrere named this as her favorite role of all time “because I got to be a villain.”

  • The soundstage where they shot the Harrier scale model was the largest 180 degree green-screen background ever built.

  • The US Government supplied three Marine Harriers and their pilots for a fee of $100,736 ($2,410 per hour).

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn’t supposed to drop the tape recorder. James Cameron liked it, and kept it in.

  • James Cameron can be heard as the helicopter pilot who says, “Yeah she’s got her head in his lap, Yahoo!”

  • When asked during an interview whether his wife was bothered by him sitting there watching Jamie Lee Curtis strip, Arnold Schwarzenegger said that she asked him about it and he assured her “Honey, I hated every hour of it!”

  • Arnold Schwarzenegger had a near-fatal accident on set during the horse riding scene, when his horse got startled and ran out of control. Schwarzenegger managed to slide off the horse, but did this near a 30-foot drop-off. His personal stunt man saw what happened and was able to grab him before he went over the ledge.

  • In January 2018, Eliza Dushku (Dana Tasker) revealed that when she was a twelve-year-old child actress making this movie, she was sexually molested by the film’s thirty-six-year-old stunt coordinator, Joel Kramer. Dushku detailed how Kramer “groomed” her for several months to gain her friendship and her parents’ trust, contrived to spend an evening alone with her, and then molested her. Dushku also said that after an adult friend confronted him on the set about the abuse, she was injured during a stunt. Dushku alleges that this was “no small coincidence…. To be clear, over the course of those months rehearsing and filming True Lies, it was Joel Kramer who was responsible for my safety on a film that at the time broke new ground for action films. On a daily basis he rigged wires and harnesses on my 12 year old body. My life was literally in his hands: he hung me in the open air, from a tower crane, atop an office tower, 25+ stories high. Whereas he was supposed to be my protector, he was my abuser.” After her statement, Dushku’s co-stars Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold and James Cameron all tweeted their respect and admiration for her bravery.

  • Eliza Dushku broke some ribs during the filming of her Harrier jet stunt scenes. It was later revealed by Dushku that this likely wasn’t entirely an accident.

  • The striptease scene drew some criticism for its perceived misogynistic content. Director James Cameron later said that Jamie Lee Curtis had heavy input in how the scene was played out. The original idea was for Helen to go completely nude, but in the dark so that only her silhouette would be seen. It was actually Curtis’s own suggestion to do it in full light while keeping her underwear on. She demonstrated it to Cameron beforehand, who remarked that he was reminded there what is so cool about his job. He also noted that most of the criticism of the scene came from men, while most of the female reviewers praised it as an empowering and even liberating scene for Helen.

  • Harry’s horse was really played by four different horses because they had different skills.

  • The appearance and traits of Spencer Trilby (Charlton Heston) is based on Nick Fury, a Marvel Comics character. Like Fury, Trilby has an eyepatch, and the same mannerisms; as well as heading a peacekeeping organization. At one point, Cameron wanted to be a comic book penciller, and does a lot of his own concept art. He even designed the entire T-800 endoskeleton.

  • A sequel to True Lies (1994) was once in the works, which would’ve reunited the principal cast as well as been directed by James Cameron, who directed the first movie. A script was even ready for this sequel, and had the movie been made, it would’ve been released sometime in 2002. The sequel idea was eventually scrapped (or at least indefinitely shelved) due to script problems as well the 9/11 terrorist attacks. Cameron even said in an interview that he dropped his sequel plans because “in this day and age, terrorism just isn’t funny anymore”.

  • Jamie Lee Curtis said that in his contract Arnold Schwarzenegger gets top billing then the title then it would have said starring Jamie Lee Curtis but when James Cameron finished editing the film and he saw that the film was really “a domestic epic, it’s a film about a marriage.” So James Cameron phoned Arnold Schwarzenegger and asked him if it would be ok to put Jamie Lee Curtis’s name before the title, to which Arnold Schwarzenegger immediately agreed. In the world of show business, as Jamie Lee Curtis said, “The credit is such a coveted, negotiable, commodity” that for Arnold Schwarzenegger to give her billing before the title “was a real mensch move on his part.”

  • Art Malik was offered more roles in other action films after but turned them down. Malik said “I didn’t want to do action movies that weren’t as good.

About The Movie From IMDB

True Lies Action, Comedy, Thriller | July 15, 1994 (United States) 7.2
Director: James CameronWriter: Claude Zidi, Simon Michaël, Didier KaminkaStars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom ArnoldSummary: Harry Tasker (Arnold Schwarzenegger) leads a double life. At work he is a government agent with a license to do just about anything, while at home he pretends to be a dull computer salesman. He is on the trail of stolen nuclear weapons that are in the hands of fanatic terrorists when something more important comes up. Harry finds his wife is seeing another man (Bill Paxton) because she needs some adventure in her life. Harry decides to give it to her, juggling pursuit of terrorists on one hand and an adventure for his wife on the other while showing he can Tango all at once. —John Vogel <jlvogel@comcast.net>

Photos


See all photos >>

Videos


See all videos >>

Cast

Arnold Schwarzenegger
...
Harry
Jamie Lee Curtis
...
Helen
Tom Arnold
...
Gib
Bill Paxton
...
Simon
Tia Carrere
...
Juno Skinner
Art Malik
...
Aziz
Eliza Dushku
...
Dana
Grant Heslov
...
Faisil
Marshall Manesh
...
Khaled
James Allen
...
Colonel
Dieter Rauter
...
Boathouse Guard
Jane Morris
...
Janice
Katsy Chappell
...
Allison
Crystina Wyler
...
Charlene
Ofer Samra
...
Yusif
Paul Barselou
...
Old Guy in Bathroom
Charles A. Tamburro
...
Helicopter Pilot
Jean-Claude Parachini
...
Jean-Claude

See full cast >>
Countries: United StatesLanguages: English, French, Arabic, GermanBudget: $115,000,000 (estimated)
Source: imdb.com
Previous
Next
7.2
True Lies Action, Comedy, Thriller | July 15, 1994 (United States)
Director: James CameronWriter: Claude Zidi, Simon Michaël, Didier KaminkaStars: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jamie Lee Curtis, Tom Arnold
Summary: A fearless, globe-trotting, terrorist-battling secret agent has his life turned upside down when he discovers his wife might be having an affair with a used-car salesman while terrorists smu... Read all
Countries: United StatesLanguages: English, French, Arabic, German
Source: imdb.comDisclaimer: This plugin has been coded to automatically quote data from imdb.com. Not available for any other purpose. All showing data have a link to imdb.com. The user is responsible for any other use or change codes.

Quotes

Helen Tasker: Have you ever killed anyone?

Harry: Yeah, but they were all bad.

Gib: [to Harry] Same thing happened to me with wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?

[after watching her husband kill dozens of men,on a deserted island]

Helen Tasker: [walking next to wooden crates] I married Rambo!

[while preparing to fire a Harrier missile, from which Salim Abu Aziz is hanging from]

Harry: [presses the button] You're fired!

[Harry is under the influence of a truth serum,in private room located on a deserted island]

Samir: Is there anything you'd like to tell me before we start?

Harry: Yeah. I'm going to kill you pretty soon.

Samir: I see. How, exactly?

Harry: First I'm going to use you as a human shield. Then I'm going to kill this guard over here with the Patterson trocar on the table. And then I was thinking about breaking your neck.

Samir: And what makes you think you can do all that?

Harry: You know my handcuffs?

Samir: Mmm-hmm.

Harry: [holds up his hands] I picked them.

[Samir gasps. Harry springs up from his chair and grabs Samir, using him as a shield while he kills the guard, then breaks Samir's neck]

Harry: [holding Simon at the edge of an aquaduct] Son of a bitch, Did you think you can elude us forever, Carlos, huh?

Simon: Hey, you got the wrong guy! My name's Simon! Just let me go. There's no need to kill me. I haven't seen your...

[Harry and Gib remove their masks]

Simon: face. No, no, no I didn't see it, I didn't see it!

[realizes that it is Harry]

Simon: Oh, it's you! Hey, you still interested in that 'Vette at all?

Gib: Hey, Carlos? Game's over. Your career as an international terrorist is well documented.

Simon: No...

Gib: -Oh, yeah.

Simon: No...

Gib: Oh, yeah!

Simon: No!

Gib: OH, YEAH!

Simon: No, I sell cars! That's all! C'mon, I'm not a terrorist. I'm actually a complete coward, if I ever saw a gun, I'd...

Harry: [Harry takes his gun out and points it in Simon's face]

Simon: [Whining and pleading] Oh God, no, please don't kill me. I'm not a spy. I'm nothing. I'm navel lint! I have to lie to women to get laid, and I don't score much. I got a little dick, it's pathetic!

[Harry and Gib gave Simon a weird look, then Simon pees his pants]

Simon: Wha, uh, oh God. Would a spy pee himself, huh? Please, I'm not worth a bullet. Oh, mercy sir!

Harry: [Disgusted] Get the fuck out of here. Just go, just beat it.

Simon: No, no, as soon as I turn, you're gonna shoot me! You're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me, you're gonna shoot me!

Gib: [Gib and Harry get into their van] Get lost, dipshit.

[fires a few rounds into the ground near Simon]

Simon: [hitting on a woman at the party] Here, let me pour you some more champaigne. I gotta keep up the waiter bit, these stakeouts can be a little tricky you know, you never know if things can explode to a life or death situation, just stay low and I'll contact you later. Maybe you should give me your tele...

Harry: [puts his hand in Simon] So, we meet again Carlos.

Helen Tasker: [puts her lipstick case under Simon's chin] Honey, I'm gonna do him right here.

Harry: [proudly] Go for it.

Simon: Oh god.

[pees in his pants]

Helen Tasker: Fear is not an option.

[Simon runs out of the party nervously screaming]

[last lines to himself, inside a surveillance van]

Gib: You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for 15 years, Harry.

Faisil: [in a conference room in their counter terrorism sector] They call him the Sand Spider.

Spencer Trilby: Why?

Faisil: Probably because it sounds scary.

Simon: [in a Chinese restaurant] Did you read the papers yesterday?

Helen Tasker: [whispers] Yes.

Simon: Sometimes a story's a mask for a covert operation. See "Two men killed in a restroom and two unidentified men in a running shootout ending at the Marriot."

Helen Tasker: That was you.

Harry Tasker: [listening to their conversation with Gib]

Simon: You see...

Harry Tasker: [whispers to Gib] That was me.

Simon: You're very good. You recognize my style. You're a natural at this.

Gib: The guy's a fake, man. He's taking credit for our moves.

Helen Tasker: What happened?

Simon: Hardly worth talking about. Two of them won't bother me again.

Gib: Unbelievable!

Helen Tasker: You chased one?

Simon: Something came over me. I just had to nail this guy no matter what the risk. Pretty hairy. I thought he had me a couple of times. But I can't take credit.

Helen Tasker: Why not?

Simon: It's the training. It shapes you into a lethal instrument. You react in a microsecond without thinking.

Gib: [laughing] I'm startin' to like this guy.

[Harry gives him a mean look]

Gib: [gets serious] We still gotta kill him. That's a given. You know.

Gib: Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!

Simon: [trying to sell Harry a Corvette with Simon driving] You see, it's not just a car. It's a total image. An identity you have to go for. This isn't some high-tech sports car. Tell you the truth, it doesn't even handle that great. But that's not the idea, is it? What are we talking about here? Pussy, right?

Harry: [fake laughs] Absolutely.

Simon: Let's face it, Harry. The 'Vette gets 'em wet.

[Salim Abu Aziz reveals a nuclear weapon]

Salim Abu Aziz: Do you know what this is?

Harry: I know what this is...

[Salim smiles]

Harry: This is an espresso machine.

[Salim frowns]

Harry: No, no wait. It's a snow cone maker.

[Salim approaches Harry]

Harry: Is it a water heater?

Harry: [referring to Helen] So who are you working on right now?

Simon: I always got a few on the line. But there's this one chick I got right now. I got her panting like a dog. Its great.

Harry: What does she do?

Simon: Some sort of legal secretary. Married to some boring jerk.

Harry: Married to some boring jerk.

Simon: Aww, but she could be so hot if she wanted to. She's like all these babes, you get their pilot lit, they could suck start a leafblower. And she's got the most incredible body too and a pair of titties that make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk. Ass like a ten year old boy! AHAHAHAHA!

Simon: [Harry punches him in the face instantly breaking Simon's neck and the daydream ends] AHAHAHAHAHA!

Harry: [driving in their SUV] You tell on me, I tell on you.

Gib: What are you talking about, I'm as clean as a preacher's sheets. I'm as clean as...

Harry: What about that time you blew a six-week operation because you were too busy getting a blow job?

Gib: You knew about that?

Harry: Uh-huh.

Gib: [over radio] All right twinkle toes, what's your exit strategy?

Harry: I'm gonna walk right out of the front gate.

Gib: [over radio] Ballsy. Stupid but ballsy.

[to Dana, who's wearing a helmet,]

Gib: [as she leaves the kitchen] Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.

Gib: So your life's in the crapper. So you wife is banging a used car salesman - it's humiliating, I know. But goddamnit, Harry, take it like a man!

Harry: [over the radio, riding in the middle of a park] Make it quick because my horse is getting tired.

Gib: [over the radio] Your horse?

Harry: [Loopy from the truth serum he's been given, in private room located on a deserted island] Ask me a question I would normally lie to.

Helen Tasker: [panicky] Are we gonna die?

Harry: Yep!

Helen Tasker: I'd say it's working.

Harry: They're gonna shoot us in the head or they gonna torture us to death or they gonna leave us here when the bomb blows up...

Helen Tasker: Harry!

[talking about Harry Tasker's wife, in a car with Simon]

Helicopter Pilot: Oh yeah, she's got her head in the guy's lap all right. Yahoo.

[to Harry Tasker]

Gib: Maybe she's sleepy.

Gib: [in their SUV, following Simon and Helen, arrived at Simon's used car dealership] The guy is a goddamn used car salesman!

[amused]

Gib: I mean, this just keeps getting better and better!

[Harry gives him a dirty look]

Gib: I'm sorry, Harry, I know this has got to be painful. But you gotta admit, it's pretty damn funny. I mean, if it was just some idiot and not you, you'd be laughing your ass off.

[starts to laugh]

Gib: [on the floor of the fake computer company] Care to tango?

Faisil: Yes, I would.

Harry: [they start dancing] Assholes.

Simon: [leaning on Simon's corvette, having lunch] Okay, just ask yourself: What do women really want? You take these bored housewives, married to the same guy for years, they're stuck in a rut, then need some release! Promise of adventure, a hint of danger. I create that for them.

Harry: So basically, your lying your ass off the whole time. See, I can't do that.

Simon: What are you, a boy scout? No, no, no, think of it as playing a role as fantasy. I mean, you got to work on their dreams. Get them out of their daily surburban grind for a few hours.

Harry: But what about their husbands?

Simon: Dickless! I mean, let's face it, if they took care of business, I'd be out of business! You know what I mean?

[laughs]

Harry: [fake laughs] Those idiots!

[Harry is commandeering a Harrier to rescue his daughter]

Gib: Harry, do you realize it has, in fact, been 10 years since you've been behind the wheel of one of these things?

Harry Tasker: If I break it, they can take it outta my pay.

Helen Tasker: [confessing on why she wants to go with Simon to Paris] I wanted to do something outrageous, and it felt really good, to be needed, and to be trusted. It's just there's so much I want to do with this life and it feels that I haven't done any of it. You know, the sand is running out of the hourglass, and I want to look back and say, see, I did that, that was me, I was reckless and I was wild, and I fucking did it.

[about Harry's daughter, just having entered the fake computer company]

Gib: Do you think she's still a virgin?

Harry: Dont be ridiculous, she's only - -what is she now?

Gib: She's fourteen!

Harry: She's fourteen years old!

Gib: Yeah, and her little hormones are going off like a car alarm.

Harry: [talking through microphones and speakers] The code name of your assignment will be... Boris. And your code name will be...

Helen Tasker: [hopeful] Natasha?

Harry: No... Doris.

Harry: Well, you see, this is the problem with terrorists. They're really inconsiderate when it comes to people's schedules.

Party Guard: [on the driveway of the castle] Can I see your invitation?

Harry: [takes out a cigarette case and presses a button on it] Sure, here's my invitation.

[blows shed sky-high]

Harry: [translating the terrorist celebrations for Helen] ... We're cool, we're badasses, blah, blah, blah.

Gib: [talking to Helen in a disguised voice] If you don't complete your mission, the deal is off

[hangs up the phone]

Gib: I'm going to hell.

Gib: [helping Harry into their SUV] You know what? I say we concentrate on work, buddy. That's what I do every time my life turns to dog shit. I concentrate on work, and that gets me by. All right, buddy? This is gonna be great. You know what? We're gonna catch some terrorists, we're gonna beat the crap out of them, you're gonna feel a hell of a lot better.

[Simon attempting to have sex with Helen on the couch in his trailer]

Helen Tasker: No, I can't. I can't!

[Simon still pursuing]

Simon: If not for me, Helen, do it for your country!

Faisil: [the van is slipping on ice] Hey, watch it.

Gib: It's called ice, and it gets a little slick.

Harry: [viewing Aziz and his behind the railing on one of the upper balconies,trying to translate for Helen what Aziz is saying] In 90 minutes, the holy fire, will light up the skies.

[the terrorists are covering the nuclear warhead with an american flag and cement]

Harry: We will tell the the whole world, that we speak, the truth. No force can stop us now, we're cool, we're badasses, blah, blah, blah.

Helen Tasker: Honey, if we're on an island, why are they using trucks?

Harry: We must be in the Florida Keys. These are the islands that have highways that connect the islands to the mainland.

Helen Tasker: There's no borders, no customs. They can go anywhere in the U.S. They're will be no one to stop them.

Harry: But, us. Here take this

[hands Helen an Uzi]

Helen Tasker: [nervously] Oh, shit.

Gib: Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.

Harry: [Harry is reading the tapped phone conversations from Helen, notices something, and quickly pulls the car over to the side of the road and up onto the curb]

Gib: [getting out of the passenger side] My turn to drive?

Harry: Give me the page!

Gib: What?

Harry: This jumps from page 9 to page 11, where's page 10?

Gib: [looks at paper] Must be a typo.

Harry: [shouts, breaks the window with his bare fist] Give me the goddamn page!

Harry: ok

[Gib looks at the window, and quickly grabs page 10 from his coat]

Harry: OK.

Gib: You aren't her parents anymore, her parents are Axl Rose and Madonna, you can't compete with that kind of bombardment.

Gib: [to Harry, who thinks his wife is having an affair] Hey, Harry. Listen, Helen still loves you. You know, she just wants to bang this guy for a while. You know? It's nothing serious. You'll get used to it soon...

Harry: [slams him up against a car] Stop cheering me up!

Harry: Put a tap on her phone.

Gib: What are you talking about? I already did that.

Harry: I'm talking about Helen's. Put a tap on her office line and the line to my house. Do it NOW.

Gib: Okay. All right. Just come over her. Sounds great. I just wanna ask you about something.

[takes him aside]

Gib: I got two words to describe that idea, in-sane. An unauthorized wire tap is a felony, pard...

Harry: [slams him up against the wall] And we're doing it twenty times a day! So don't give me that crap.

Helen Tasker: [has the upper hand on Juno in the back of a limo and grabs a champagne bottle] LIKE ONE?

[hits her with it]

Helen Tasker: HOW 'BOUT TWO?

[clobbers her a second time]

[Harry has just returned from Helen's office and is shell-shocked]

Harry: Helen... Helen...

Gib: Helen...?

Harry: Helen...

Gib: It's got something to do with Helen, I'm guessing.

Harry: Helen...

Harry: [on the sidewalk next to their SUV] Helen... is having an affair!

Gib: [hugs him] Welcome to the club, man!

Faisil: [sitting next to Albert, hacking into a computer inside their surveillance van] Yes! Files are unlocked! Fast Faisil strikes again. I'm doing, man! I've got my hand up her skirt, and I AM GOIN...

Gib: [covers his microphone so Harry wont hear him] Just copy the goddam files, OK?

[Harry returns to the van after escaping the castle]

Harry: Hi guys.

Gib: Well that worked real good. Right out the old front gate.

Harry: Can you lean back a second...

[Harry shoots two remaining pursuers]

Faisil: [in a conference room in their counter terrorism sector] It's a scale really, with a perfect mission at one end and a total pooch screw at the other, and we're right about in the middle.

Spencer Trilby: You're new on Harry's team, aren't you?

Faisil: Yes.

Spencer Trilby: So what makes you think that the slack I cut him in anyway translates to you?

Harry: [regrettably to Helen] What can I say? I'm a spy.

Salim Abu Aziz: [filming his video when the cameraman abruptly lowers the camera] What's the problem?

Jihad Cameraman: Batter-Aziz!

Harry: [speaking to the horse] What the hell were you thinking? I had the guy, and you let him get away. Look at me when I talk to you. What kind of a cop are you anyway?

Harry: [to Juno, on her private plane] There *is* no us, you psychopathic bitch!

[Harry lights up a cigarette and starts coughing]

Gib: [over the radio] Dickhead.

Harry: [over the radio, walking on the street] Blow me.

[Harry becomes angered when he discovers that Helen may be having an affair]

Gib: What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was only a matter of time.

Salim Abu Aziz: [his message to the United States while being video taped] You have murdered our women, and our children, and bombed our cities from afar, like cowards, and you dare to call "us" terrorists?Now, we have the ability to strike back at our enemies. Unless "you" "America" pull all military forces out of the Persian gulf area, immediately, and forever, Crimson Jihad will rain fire on one major U.S. city each week, until our demands are met. First, we will detonate one nuclear weapon on this uninhabited island as a demonstration of our power. But, if these demands are not met, Crimson Jihad will rain fire on one major U.S. city each week.

Gib: [to Harry, referring to Juno Skinner, over the radio] Seconds count buddy. Ditch the bitch.

Gib: Harry? Harry? You do not have time to tango, buddy. You copy?

Spencer Trilby: So far, this is not blowing my skirt up, gentlemen.

[Harry sticks an unconscious terrorist's head in a bathroom urinal and flushes it]

Harry Tasker: Cool off.

Simon: [after taken out of his trailer by Harry's government agents] Take her! Take her! Oh, god, don't hurt me!

Juno Skinner: Ok, Suzie Homemaker. Let's go.

Spencer Trilby: [in a conference room in their counter terrorism sector] Sweet Jesus, Harry, you surely screwed the pooch last night, didn't you?

Gib: [shouting to civilians after pursuing Aziz throughout the hotel] Federal officer! Get down now! Duck or Die!

Juno Skinner: [pouring a glass of champagne in a limo while Helen watches, thinking Harry is dead] Would you like one?

Harry Tasker: [Harry is chasing Salim through the city. He comes across a police officer riding a horse] Federal officer in pursuit of suspect!

Harry Tasker: [knocks the officer off his horse] Sorry.

Police Officer: [getting up off the ground as Harry rides off] Hey!

Juno Skinner: [to Helen] My condolences to the widow.

Juno Skinner: [as the limo she riding in is about to go into the water] Oh shit!

Gib: Kids ten seconds of joy 30 years of misery I got married 3 times but was never dumb enough to have any.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque imperdiet eros leo, eget consequat orci viverra nec. Suspendisse pellentesque sem metus, et mollis purus auctor in eoses eget. Powered by SecondLineThemes